Sarette Emails/1

Sarette Email #1

Sarette lists three of her mortal enemies.

Cast (in order of appearance): Sarette Sprinter

Places: Sarette's Spare Room, The Slightly Different Field, Sarette's Living Room

Computer: Compustine

Date: August 20, 2008

Running Time: 2:37

Page Title: The first one!

Transcript

SARETTE: Now, let's see what's new in the email. Of the new...of the email, of the new...oh, whatever!

subj: foes

Hey, Sarette!

Do you have any mortal enemies?

- ZPP

{Sarette reads ZPP as 'Zee Peruvian Pear'.}

SARETTE: Well, I don't get much mail from Peruvian pears! ...Or, any mail. Well, I have quite a few mortal enemies. Here's some. Hmm. Well, there was this guy who threw a pie at the back of my head other day.

{Fade to Sarette standing in The Slightly Different Field. A pie is thrown from off the screen, hitting Sarette in the back of the head.}

SARETTE: Hey! {turns around} I dare you to do that again!

{A pie is thrown from the opposite side of the screen, once again hitting Sarette in the back of the head.}

SARETTE: {furious} I'm going to tear you apart limb from limb if you throw another pie at the back of my head!

{A pie is thrown from off screen, this time hitting Sarette in the face.}

SARETTE: ...Strawberry.

{Fade to Sarette at the Compustine, like before.}

SARETTE: Or this guy who instant messaged me last week.

{Fade to Sarette at the Compustine, with the following chat unraveling:

awesomed00d84> hai!!!
snowcherub> ...hi?
snowcherub> do i know you?
awesomed00d84> ya, i was in the pie irc chat, rmembr?
snowcherub> were you the guy who kept saying asdf?
awesomed00d84> ya lol
awesomed00d84> a/s/l?
snowcherub> why?
awesomed00d84> i want 2 meet u
awesomed00d84> a/s/l?
snowcherub> no
awesomed00d84> wai???
snowcherub> like i don't know you're going to kill me right when you come in
awesomed00d84> lol no!
awesomed00d84> a/s/l???
snowcherub> *hits head with frying pan*
snowcherub> fgyhygtyuys8687g
awesomed00d84> wut?
snowcherub logged off.

After Sarette types '*hits head with frying pan*' she actually does, causing her to become insane. The line 'fgyhygtyuys8687g' is a result of Sarette bashing her head on the keyboard. Fade back to the current, non-flashback scene of Sarette on the Compustine.}

SARETTE: Oh yeah, and that fly that flew in my house yesterday.

{Fade to Sarette's Living Room. A fly flies in, and Sarette follows with a rolled-up newspaper. Sarette attempts to swat the fly three times, each time missing it. In a fit of rage, Sarette then begins swatting all around the room, missing the fly, until she hits herself on the head, causing her to go insane.}

SARETTE: YaAaAaAaAaAa...{voice trails off as she runs off, voice trails in again as she runs back in the other direction on the celing} ...AaAaAaAaAaAa... {voice trails off again as she runs off}

{Fade back to Sarette at the Compustine.}

SARETTE: Ugh. I have to stop now. This is giving me too many negetive thoughts. Don't send any more emails like this, or you'll be another one of my mortal enemies.

{The Notepaper comes down.}

Fun Facts

• A/S/L is an internet term meaning "age/sex/location", inquiring what each of these are.
• This is the first time Sarette goes crazy.