SPACED OUT AWESOME/eps/1

Summary

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Leviathan X. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Transcript

{CUE THEME MUSIC}

{OPEN: THE BOARDROOM OF THE LEVIATHAN X.}

SEPHIROTH: So, from what I can gather, It's been about a year since our precious planet was blown to smithereens. ...I actually can't really bring myself to give much of a shit, to be honest.

CHAOS: Earth? Oh yes, that planet. Bleh. ...Ooh!! Did I ever mention how I got my Medical Degree? I did one of those fancy online 5-year college courses. ...And by that, I mean that I printed them off the internet.

SEPHIROTH: So in reality, you're totally unqualified, and I would be a complete fool to trust you as our official medical man?

CHAOS: ...Pretty much.

SEPHIROTH: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. {THUMBS UP}

{CC's hologram appears out of absolutely nowhere}

CC: Hey guys, what's-

SEPHIROTH: WHOA HOLY SHIT DUDE, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?

CC: I'm the hologram.

SEPHIROTH: Wait wait wait... WHAT?

CC: You know, how every sci-fi show has at least one holographic character? I'm that character.

CHAOS: Yo, CC! Would you like some curry?

CC: Sure thing, I would love some-

{Sephiroth pulls out a revolver and blows CC's head off, covering himself in holographic blood.}

SEPHIROTH: HANDS OFF MY FUCKING CURRY, HO.

CHAOS: Whoa, calm down! You could've just said no! {Looks at CC's body} ...How the hell was that even possible in the first place?

SEPHIROTH: The laws of physics bend for me.. Just like the Green Alien Chicks. Oh yeah.

CHAOS: ...Dude, you haven't gotten any for ages. Shut up.

{Userunknown walks in, and observes the carnage.}

USERUNKNOWN: How exactly did he ever manage to become the captain, anyway?

CHAOS: I'll happily tell you if you allow me remove your jugular.

USERUNKNOWN: Only if I can remove your soul.. and your life. Ha. That was a good one.

CHAOS: But enough talk, people! I NEED TO SHOW YOU ALL MY LATEST CREATION! A NINJA CHIMPANZEE.. THAT SPEAKS FRENCH.

SEPHIROTH: That sounds incredibly stupid.

USERUNKNOWN: Yeah.. I'll have to agree with the captain on that one. It is pretty stupid.

CHAOS: But.. but... I.. {Tears up} ...OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU BOTH.

{GIM2-B4RD walks in.}

SEPHIROTH: CHRIST ALMIGHTY, HOW MANY CHARACTERS ARE WE GOING TO INTRODUCE IN THIS EPISODE ALONE?!

JESUS CHRIST: Oh, about six, man.

SEPHIROTH: Oh, I see. Thanks, G.

JESUS CHRIST: It's cool.

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWhine.

SEPHIROTH: I don't give a shit about your problems, I just want you to know that.

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWhineWhine. Sighhhh...

CHAOS: ...Well, I'm beat. What exactly do we do?

SEPHIROTH: We could spend the next five minutes going to a planet, for no reason whatsoever.

CHAOS: Right. Any ideas in mind?

SEPHIROTH: Umm.. Titanius 14. A planet.. WHICH IS MADE COMPLETELY OF TITANIUM.

USERUNKNOWN: Ooh, what's the Pizza like?

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWhine. Whiiiiiiineee.

USERUKNOWN: Then I don't want to go, in that case.

{Sephiroth runs up to Userunknown and kicks him in the nuts, causing him to fall forwards and puke all over the floor}

SEPHIROTH: FUCKYOUWE'REGOING.

{Cut to Titanius 14.}

SEPHIROTH: WE ARE NOW AT TITANIUS 14. LET US HARVEST TITANIUM, AND DO STUFF.

CHAOS: What kind of stuff?

'SEPHIROTH: Just stuff, okay?! Jeez! {Looks around, and spots an abandoned mining tunnel, with a mine-cart.} Ooh, is that a mine-cart? MINE-CART RIDE!! WHEEEE!!!! {Runs toward the mine-cart and jumps in it.}

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWHIIIIIIIINE.

CHAOS: {Pulls out a chicken drumstick} THIS CHICKEN DRUMSTICK CAN CURE ANY DISEASE.

USERUNKOWN: Ooh, really? Can I see it?

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWhine.

CHAOS: No. BECAUSE I JUST ATE IT. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

USERUNKNOWN: Well this episode ended up making no sense. Great.

GIM2: WhineWhineWhineWhineWhine?

CHAOS: Oh who cares? The Captain will show up in the next episode anyway.

END SODE.}