(even if you aren't vegan)
RtWC Definitive Version/ep/3
{Open to Noid escorting Chaos, Sephiroth, Noxigar, and Tracy into Town Hall. They are greeted by a woman sitting at the receptionist desk. She is young, in her early 20s, with short rose-colored hair. She gets up from her desk and nods to Noid. Chaos is visibly staggered at her presence, sweating mildly.}
NOID: Ah, Noelle! I don't suppose you mind escorting these men to the mayor's office, do you?
{Noelle smiles at Noid.}
NOELLE: Of course not!
{Noxigar looks at Chaos.}
NOXIGAR: Chaos, it appears that you are leaking sweat again. Is everything satisfactory?
CHAOS: Ha.. ha.. yeah, it's absolutely fine, it's totally fine, it's going quite-..
{Chaos is startled even further by Noelle standing right in front of him.}
NOELLE: Hello, Abraxas.
CHAOS: Noelle!! Hey, um... heh.
NOELLE: Come on, Abraxas. There is no need to act awkward around me with your friends.
CHAOS: Oh-um... heh... of course, it's just-...
NOID: ...I'll, um, just leave you all to it, shall I?
{Noid shifts away from the scene, leaving them alone. Chaos is still trying to get his words out but is interrupted by Noelle.}
NOELLE: Follow me, I'll take you straight to the mayor.
{Noelle leads the group through Town Hall.}
SEPHIROTH: This is a pretty snazzy job, you have here, Noelle.
NOELLE: Thank you! Yeah, I managed to land it around the same time Skullbuggy got elected. When I was interviewed, they wanted to talk to me about my knowledge of Kids Bop, and that was apparently good enough for me to get the job. I guess I have Bell to thank for that. I heard about what happened, by the way. That's so sad.
NOXIGAR: Indeed. I was not there to witness it, but I felt it happen all the same. I detected a massive burst of energy coming from Spook Cliff, and then nothing.
TRACY: Sarah...
NOELLE: Oh my do not say the lord's name in vain, Tracy. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up with you around, that was so inconsiderate of me.
TRACY: No, it's fine. That's what the mayor wants to see us for anyway. I just wish I were there sooner, I could have stopped it, I could have stopped... him.
{Noxigar pats Tracy on the back.}
NOXIGAR: I promise you with all respect that we will work to ensure justice.
{They finally reach the door to the Mayor's office. Noelle opens the door and leads the group in. Sitting at his desk is Skullbuggy, and standing at his side is Chwoka.}
SKULLBUGGY: Thank you, Noelle.
{Noelle closes the door.}
SKULLBUGGY: Please, take a seat! I just want to ask you a few questions.
{The group sit down at the chairs in front of the desk. Skullbuggy addresses Tracy first.}
SKULLBUGGY: First thing's first. Tracy, I am so incredibly sorry about what happened.
{Tracy sighs.}
TRACY: Yeah.
SKULLBUGGY: Anyway, as you have all probably noticed by now, since the incident, both Bell and Raiku have gone missing. I'm worried about Bell, I fear he may be taking irrational action.
CHAOS: What do you mean? You think he's gone to find Raiku himself?
SKULLBUGGY: Yes. And I fear that he's at risk at doing something regrettable. Bell is capable of quite shocking things, and I fear about what might happen if he finds Raiku.
SEPHIROTH: Why should we care, about Raiku? If Bell wants to do, something, let him.
NOXIGAR: I concur with Sephiroth.
SKULLBUGGY: I understand, but think about it. Raiku is immortal, a tanar'ri with untapped abilities, which are wrong, because they're blasphemous. And look at Bell also. Just as highly powered, currently filled with rage and potentially unstoppable. An unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object? Not pleasant.
CHWOKA: Plus, guess who has to clean up the mess when it happens? We're still in debt due to the Tanar'ri Hunter incident.
SKULLBUGGY: I'm just asking. Please find Raiku before Bell does. He needs to be brought to justice, I agree. But it needs to be done properly. If Bell does it, I fear the consequences will be terrible.
SEPHIROTH: I wonder what Bell is doing, right now.
{Cut to Bell walking down a busy American highway. Cars are swerving around him and angrily honking their horns as he walks down the middle of the road. He is barefoot and his clothes are torn and tattered. He reaches his destination. The birthplace of Raiku himself. Pan to the side to show a road sign reading "Law School, Michigan". Cut to Bell walking into the Bar Exam. The interior is like that of a biker bar, only the patrons are all lawyers. He walks up to the counter and sits down on the stool. He is greeted by the bartender, who is an attractive young paralegal.}
BARMAID: Well, well, well. It ain't very often we get a new face around 'ere. I presume you ain't honest?
BELL: I was honest. Once. I even don't know what I am anymore.
{The barmaid responds with a single nasally laugh.}
BARMAID: Hah. Join the club, bub. Anyways, what'ya havin'?
BELL: I didn't come here for drinks. I came here to speak to the owner.
BARMAID: Oh, I'm sorry, but J ain't takin' visitors.
BELL: It's important.
BARMAID: I'm sure it is, but that don't change a thin'. If he ain't takin' visitors, he ain't takin' vis-
{Bell stands up and slams his hands on the counter.}
BELL: IT'S ABOUT RAIKU. THIS IS IMPORTANT!
{The barmaid freezes in her tracks.}
BARMAID: Oh My Cochran. A'ight, come with me.
{The barmaid opens the counter door, allowing Bell in. She then casts an incantation on the wall in front of her, creating a doorway to Jericho's lounge. She escorts Bell through. Jericho is sitting at a desk covered in cocaine. His eyes are bloodshot, and his nose is bleeding slightly. Besides him on both sides are a pair of crutches.}
JERICHO: Oi, Kitrah! Whaht thi bloody frock dihd I tall ya abouht vihsitors?
BARMAID: He has something important to tell you, sir.
{Jericho pulls out his law degree and points it at Bell. His arm is incredibly shaky, however.}
BELL: It's about Raiku.
{Jericho puts the degree back down and stands up, picking the crutches up and shuffling over to Raiku. When he comes out of his desk, it is visible that he only has one leg, the other one appearing to have been tucked into his pants, owing to his history as a contortionist, as all lawyers must be able to stick their heads up their own poopdeck. Jericho gets closer to Bell and observes him.}
JERICHO: Ey. Yer thaht Ball boy, arihn'ht ye? Yihah, I know ye. So whaht makihs ye thihnk I gihve a snuffahleupahgus abouht Raiku? Ah've puht thaht lihfe bihhind me now, mate.
{A voice bellows from another room.}
????: Is 'zat a guest we have?
JERICHO: Aye. E's askin' abit Raiku.
{A man walks out from the doorway. He is tall and bulky, with grey skin and a shaved head. His ears are slightly pointed, and his teeth are slightly fanged. He is wearing jeans and sneakers, with nothing on his top half but an apron. His body is covered with a various assortment of Russian prison tattoos, and on his arm is a tattoo of a heart saying Mom. He notices Bell and smiles.}
STELLIN: Ah, I know you! You're 'zat Bell guy! Friend of Raiku, da?
BELL: We are anything but friends.
STELLIN: My mistake, forgive me. You on official business?
BELL: I need to know where Raiku is. I have a score to settle with him, and I believe you can help me find him.
JERICHO: Agin, whaht makihs ye thihnk I gihve a snaggle? Raiku and I are over.
{Bell goes up to Jericho and grabs him by the neck. Stellin tries to run to help Jericho, but Bell responds by summoning a Bell clone to restrain him. While he was distracted, Jericho frees himself from Bell's grasp by grabbing his wrist and burning it with his powers, causing Bell drop him. Bell responds by throwing a punch in Jericho's direction, but Jericho dodges and punches Bell in the stomach with his papery fist. Meanwhile, Stellin has broken free of the Bell clone's grasp and makes quick work of him by picking him up and breaking his back over his leg.}
STELLIN: Duplication, eh? Impressive.
{Bell smirks while reclaiming his breath from the huge punch Jericho threw at him.}
BELL: They're my Bell clones. Heh... they do whatever I want them to.
JERICHO: Yer gonna need mire clines t'deal wit' this, son.
{Stellin comes from behind Bell and restrains him by the arms. Jericho throws multiple punches made out of law documents at Bell, finishing off by smacking across the face with his crutch, creating a small dent in his helmet. Stellin lets go, and Bell falls to the ground, coughing up blood. Jericho looks down at Bell and scoffs.}
JERICHO: Yer lucky I don' jus' kill ya. Now get the fr-...
{Bell lunges at Jericho, throwing him down to the ground, repeatedly smashing his head on the ground. Stellin tries again to restrain Bell, but is cornered by two Bell clones who begin beating him into submission, knocking him back and forth. Stellin manages to fend them off, but is attacked by even more Bell clones, who proceed to doggy-pile him onto the ground. Pan over to Kitrah, who's watching the entire thing in excitement. Back to Jericho, who is still having his head smashed on the ground by Bell. Jericho's entire body erupts in legal documents, and he throws Bell off him, blasting streams of legal jargon at him, which burns at his flesh until he becomes withered and black. Meanwhile, Stellin is still being beaten up by the large crowd of Bell clones. Stellin closes his eyes, and his entire body assumes a metallic form. He forces himself back up, and grabs one of the Bell clones by the head, swinging him around to hit the other Bell clones and knock them back. He tears the Bell clone's shirt in half, proceeding to quickly finish the rest of them off by poking their heads, knocking them into a deep sleep. Finally, Bell and his clones have been defeated, and Stellin and Jericho stand victorious, while Kitrah cheers.}
STELLIN: I don't know vhy you are cheering. Somebody has to clean zis mess up.
KITRAH: Aw.
JERICHO: 'Tis a shame. I wis perfickt'ly willin' ti'spare 'im.
STELLIN: That iz vat hubris does to you.
JERICHO: I 'iive ti admit though. Thit waz a fun fihght.
{Suddenly, the sleeping bodies of the Bell clones and the withered husk of Bell's body all come together, with the fleshy body parts all combining into a singular body, with the husk acting as the core. The fleshy mass assumes the form of Bell, who stands in the presence of the two as if he were never knocked out, only now he's naked, fig leaves covering his naughty bits.}
BELL: It takes more than that to kill me, fromages.
{Bell gets back into a fighting stance, but Jericho turns his papers off and shuffles back to his desk, sitting down again. Stellin goes back to organic form.}
JERICHO: No more. That was in'uff fihghtin' for a while. Yi've earned me' 'ilp.
{Bell's facial expression goes from one of anger to one of astonishment}
BELL: O-oh. Of course, alright.
STELLIN: Ve haven't fought like that for a long time now. Not zeence my honey bunny had his leg torn off.
JERICHO: Oi, what diid I till ya about cillin' mi those thin's in piblic?
BELL: Wait, are you two...
JERICHO: Whit, hive yi' niver seen a pair of cousins bihfore?
BELL: Oh no, I was just...
JERICHO: Rilax. Ii'hm jus' frockin' witt ya.
{Stellin chuckles.}
JERICHO: So yi wanna find Raiku, eh? I din't suppose it's ti wish 'im 'Appy Bihthday now, is it?
BELL: He defeated my wife. I want him to suffer.
STELLIN: I am zo zorry.
JERICHO: Rihvinge story, eh? Ih cin tell yih that those nivah go well.
{Bell frowns.}
JERICHO: Bit I cin' also see that 'yer serious. Plis, he did do this to me.
{Jericho points to his tucked leg.}
JERICHO: I lost ah bit. Bit yih' aware that he cin't jus' be killed in an ordinary sinse, rihght?
STELLIN: Tanar'ri are pretty hardy, da?
JERICHO: But I cin' show yih' what t'do.
{Jericho opens the drawer of his desk, and he pulls out an unusual-looking glass wand.}
BELL: Is that a fraggin' fl-...
JERICHO: This is th Wand of Jeremiah, sid ti contin the sol of an injel inside of it.
BELL: Okay, but why does it look like a flu-...
JERICHO: As yih probably know, only holy magic cin truly kill a tahnah'ri. Plus, the rat tried tih use it on me, because ih's a fockin' donkey. Di'int work though, hah!
{Jericho puts the wand on the table, and Bell takes it and inspects it.}
BELL: I believe you, but it really does look like a flut-...
JERICHO: IT'S NIT A FROLICKIN' FLUTE.
STELLIN: It does kind of look like one.
KITRAH: Yeah, I wouldn't mind, if ya know what I-...
{Stellin gently puts his hand over her mouth. Kitrah muffles the end of her sentence. Bell holds the wand up, and smiles.}
BELL: Regardless of the fact that it looks like a musical instrument, this is great.
{Bell looks at Jericho.}
BELL: And you can help me find him too?
{Jericho scoffs.}
JERICHO: I know exictly where 'e is.
{Bell smiles with malice.}
BELL: Excellent.
{Cut back to the mayor's office.}