Robmails.exe/animal

summary: Robstar creates an animal

CAST: Robstar, Scoutty, Pac, Chef sam, Mickey Roundhat, Midget, Bill Cosby, uwe Boll (easter egg)

Scene:Computer Room, Pac man level, Kitchen, Disco club

Page Title: Tandigations

Date: December 3, 2008

Transcript

ROBSTAR: {types "run_robmails.exe"} Email Countdown in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Blast off!

Hey, robert!
Have you ever made up an animal? If so, what did it look like?
Quelvty,
Albino

ROBSTAR: {pronouncing Albino as I don't care of what you say} Really? {types} Oh i feel you, Albino-blacksheep. You "Quelvty" failed the attempt to use the "Quelvty" words. {stops typing} Told you I can do it.

SCOUTTY: {voice as he groans}

ROBSTAR:Idiot.

SCOUTTY:What?

ROBSTAR: Nothing. {clears the computer screen as he starts typing} Creating an animal, I see? hmm, I dunno, Ally. Its hard for me to do, but hell. I will give it a shot. As the old i-don't-care says, "Animals play video games," which is why i ate John mccain and voted for Barack Obama. Obama rules. This animal is called, "Pac."

{as scene cuts to the Pac-man level}

PAC:Hi. that me. I Pac. how you do?

ROBSTAR: {voice} No. Maybe something with good grammar and no use of puberty troubles.

{as scene cuts to Chef Sam's kitchen}

CHEF SAM: {singing} baby! You are... OW! so fine! And crap! I want you to meet...

{the unknown lizard with a cat's head and a shark's fin appears}

CHEF SAM: Latark.

ROBSTAR: {appears out of nowhere} chef.

CHEF SAM:Hello, Robstar, my dude. Wassup?

ROBSTAR: nothing much. I might keep it... some day... I am going to go beat up a midget. BOINK! {escapes as scene cuts to the disco club}

MICKEY: Yo, yo yo! there's my Rob! How are you?

ROBSTAR: I'm not sure. Where's the midget?

MICKEY: Right by the awful Dick clark.

ROBSTAR:Okay. Have a good one.

MICKEY: you too.

ROBSTAR: See-ya. {leaves and beats up a midget}

MIDGET: ARE YOU DRUNK? YOU ARE SICK!

ROBSTAR:Which i don't even care.

MIDGET: HELP!

BILL: Hey. That is MY midget.

ROBSTAR: Bill Cosby?

BILL: yeah, it's me. A bing-bong, robstar is none other than a checker from nowhere who parties and plays R-rated video games and i don't care, because the pudding is {makes random noises}

ROBSTAR:That's it.

BILL: That's it nothing.

ROBSTAR: no really. I'm leaving. Farewell, crappy damn old G-rated fools. Screw y'all! {leaves}

MICKEY: The crap?

{scene cuts back to the computer room}

ROBSTAR: {types} I created an animal and it's as bad as Uwe Boll as Orson Wells. The name is Latark. He sucks. Sigh. i have issues. I'll play some Half-life 2. Bye. {leaves}

{the paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Uwe Boll at the end to see a clip of Uwe boll getting hurt by Bill Cosby.

{scene cuts to the disco club}

UWE: Stop hurting me.

BILL: I will if you stop making bad films. which I don't care.