Remnants of the Past/characters/Kyubii

MERCENARY FOR HIRE: KYUBII "THE CUBE" NIXON

Hey you! Yeah, you! Tired of being a loser? Get snubbed by the hot chick at work? Thrown in a trash can? Just want someone... handled properly? Look no further than Kyubii Nixon AKA "The Cube", professional mercenary! Formerly known for being close friends with washed up lawyer Badstar Strunner, The Cube is now his own man and ready to help you TODAY! What's that? You've heard that The Cube used to be perfectly sane and now he's absolutely bonkers? Surely you jest, good sir! You will find no foxthing more cool, calm, and collected than The Cube! The Cube is trained in armed combat and is experienced with bombs, swords, grenades, and guns. So. Many. Guns. If you have a job you need taken care of, The Cube can help you TODAY!

Daily Rates: 200$ an hour, 500$ for a "special job".

Avaliable: Any day, inbetween reruns of House and Mad Men.

Contact number: 1-9999-412-1092

Address: Behind that one door in that one alley that smells like hotsauce and shame. You know the one.

HIRE THE CUBE TODAY!

Disclaimer: Kyubii Nixon will not be held responsible for manslaughter, loss of limbs, excessive blood, crying, mental scarring, and permanent trauma. Cash and credit accepted. No checks.

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"Hey hey hey, The Cube here! Professional mercenary, bowler, and great at parties! What can the C-man do for you today? Discount if you're a hot chick!"

"Ah, yes... Mr. Nixon, I've heard of you"

"Who hasn't? Pretty much the coolest guy in the whole city! Ask anyone!"

"...Yes, indeed."

"So, what d'ya need? Some guy heist your place? Bang your wife? Forgot to recycle?"

"I simply require your... special talents"

"...Bowling?"

"Killing"

"Oh yeah, I'm good at that too."

"It would be prefered you spare them... but if you find it necessary to dispose of them, do what you must."

"Hey, you're the boss!"

"I will contact you later with further information. You will be rewarded greatly, I assure you..."

"Hey man, I like you already! Wanna grab something to drink later?"

"..."

"...Is that a yes?"