Other Character Email Trogador RELOADED BIZNATCH/treehouse

The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 026: Treehouse Trogador and his friends settle into Tampo's, but a certain someone's just not feeling it.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 30X8". The screen then changes its text it to "A DRAGON AND HIS FRIENDS GOT FROZED. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to Trogador's Nest. This nest is a little smaller than his last one, and the room is steel with no windows. Trogador throws a suitcase onto his nest.}

TROGADOR: There, all packed!

{Tampo hovers in.}

TAMPO: Hello, Trogador.

TROGADOR: Hey, Tampo, I like my room! Thanks again for-

TAMPO: You don't have to thank me every time you see me, idiot. Now follow me, I'll show you around the Warehouse.

{cut to a steel hallway. Trogador and Tampo walk and hover down it.}

TAMPO: First things first, the floors. Ground flloor, living areas. Second floor, bedrooms. Third floor, minion storage. There's lots of stuff in the attic, not sure what...and the basement is our laboratory.

{The camera pans back to show John behind them.}

JOHN: There's a lab here?

TAMPO: The Minions have always been proud of their-

TROGADOR: Who are The Minions?

TAMPO: Oh, yes, The Minions is my, eh, organization. I've been doing my off-the-record work under their header. Anyways, the Minions have always been proud of their advancements in science technology.

JOHN: Can we go there next on the tour?

TAMPO: Of course.

{cut to The Lab. It is a huge green room with tables and computers everywhere. Several doors are found along the walls, and a scarecrow is hovering inside a glass case. A Chorch in a labcoat is mixing chemicals over a sink. John walks up to him.}

JOHN: So, what are you mixing?

CHORCH: I don't know. Let's find out!

{The Chorch mixes the chemicals and throws the beakers up into the air. They merge into one beaker, and a scarecrow slips out of the beaker, yelling garbed Spanish.}

CHORCH: Not again!

{The Chorch shoos it away with a broom and hovers back over to John. He shakes John's hand.}

CHORCH: Dr. Damien. I'm the head of the Science Department around here.

JOHN: My name's John. I'm just a scientist. What's with the scarecrows?

TAMPO: Damien here has been tasked with creating the perfect man, so that we can sell him to various militaries around the planet.

DR. DAMIEN: Yes, well, I'll get there soon, I can feel a breakthrough coming!

TAMPO: That's what you've been saying for 8 years, Damien. You can stop pretending now.

DR. DAMIEN: {sighs in relief} Oh, thank you, thank you...

{A tazer flies out at Trogador and John. They fall to the ground, visibily being electrocuted. It stops and the camera pans over. A Kolkaryu hovers there, holding a tazer gun.}

TROGADOR: What the crap is this?!

KOLKARYU: Mr. Tampo sir I have apprehended the intruders sir!

TAMPO: Steve, these aren't intruders. Say hello to your new housemates, Trogador and John.

STEVE: I apologize, Trogador and John. Mr. Tampo sir, are there any other new housemates?

TAMPO: Well, let's see, there's a pigman, a ghost, a mothman, and a white guy.

STEVE: Mmmmmm is the pigman named Crow?

TAMPO: Something like that.

{Steve quickly flies off.}

JOHN: Who's that?

TAMPO: That's Steve. He runs security around here.

TROGADOR: Homeschool Winner, where do you get those tazers? The Uneccessarily High Voltage Zone?

{cut to The Vault Room. A Browntant wearing a fur coat and sitting on a golden throne is watching television in the center. Other than that, it is your standard, empty stone room. Tampo and Trogador poke their heads in.}

TAMPO: Gregory, this is Trogador. Trogador, this is gregory, my treasurer.

TROGADOR: Nice to meet you, Gre-

GREGORY: Not in the middle of the game!

TAMPO: Gregory, where'd all the funds go?

GREGORY: Hmm? Oh. One of those, uh, one of those Chorches knocked me out and when I woke up it was all gone.

TAMPO: {angrily} Bueregard.

{Tampo hovers out.}

TROGADOR: That's a nice TV.

GREGORY: Thanks, I got it by wiring funds out of the brain's bank account.

TROGADOR: What?

GREGORY: What?

{cut to The Living Room. It is pretty much the same as the last living room except the walls are silver. A Greggo sits on the couch. Trogador and Tampo are walking/hovering through.}

TAMPO: This is my butler, Sebastian. Sebastian, don't you have cleaning?

SEBASTIAN: Maybe you should hire a maid! Maybe then I'd have incentive to get off a' this couch!

TAMPO: {chuckles} Good ol' Sebastian.

{A missile flies through from the ceiling to the floor. A Jaro jumps down from the hole in the ceiling and onto the floor.}

TAMPO: Um. Nathaniel, why did you shoot a missile through the ceiling?

NATHANIEL: Testing.

TAMPO: Trogador, this is Nathaniel. Nathaniel is my second in command, and when I die from being a floating brain, Nathaniel will take my place.

NATHANIEL: Is this the great Trogador I have heard so much about? Fool, you might have fought off plasma demons and dictators hellbent on destruction, but they hold no candle to I. You slip up, I will hang your head on a flag and proudly wave it outside.

TAMPO: {whispers} He says to everybody.

{cut to The Backyard. It's your standard backyard. Master Z is in a lawn chair, reading a book. Trogador walks up to him.}

TROGADOR: Hey Z, what are you doing?

MASTER Z: {rolls eyes} I'm baking a cake.

TROGADOR: Fine, Z, you don't have to insult me, geez!

MASTER Z: I'm sorry, Trogador. What do you want?

TROGADOR: I dunno, Z. Maybe a T-Cube so I could go back in time and stop Master S from ever attempting the Revolution? I mean, our new house, it's cool and all...but it's not the same as a temple crafted for you by adoring cultists.

MASTER Z: What don't you like about here?

TROGADOR: There's too many people! I can't walk down a hallway without stepping on some low-grade robot.

MASTER Z: You want to be alone, is it?

TROGADOR: You know...I think I do. I mean, I haven't had peace in a long time. Even when it was just John, I was still feeling drained. And then Kray crashed into the Temple and we rescued Clyde and I summoned Drew and Z moved in and now I'm surrounded by little steel people....I really just need to get to that peace I had once, you know?

MASTER Z: Are you saying you hate all of us and we're slowly killing you?

TROGADOR: Well...

{The TrogPilot beeps.}

TROGADOR: Hey, I forgot about the show!

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: I think I'm gonna start a new thing when I start my show, Z.

MASTER Z: What's that?

TROGADOR: All the other shows open up in song. So I figured...why not mine?

MASTER Z: No, wai-

TROGADOR: My name is Trogzula! The mail-rulah! The drag-ula! You wanna check, I'll check it for ya!

MASTER Z: {sighs heavily}

EMAIL GOES HERE

TROGADOR: Treehouse, you say, young one? Well, I used to live in a tree when I was a komodo dragon in the 2000's.

MASTER Z: I thought you lived in a king's castle?

TROGADOR: Something like that. Anyways, I am indifferent on treehouses because I've never been in one. In closing, buy all Trogador related products!

MASTER Z: You've never been in a treehouse?

TROGADOR: Never seen one, to be honest.

MASTER Z: There's one right next to us.

{The camera pans over to show a large treehouse a few feet away from where Z is reading.}

TROGADOR: That's a treehouse? I assumed it was a pillbox.

MASTER Z: What's a pillbox?

TROGADOR: Don't you shoot turrets from them?

MASTER Z: I refer to those as mortar towers.

TROGADOR: Whatever.

MASTER Z: Trogador, I think you should go in that treehouse. Like, right now.

TROGADOR: You mean so I can be at peace with myself?

MASTER Z: Sure, whatever.

TROGADOR: Great idea, Z!

{Trogador walks up to The Treehouse and climbs the ladder. He goes inside. Inside, it is dimly lit, with no windows. Dust is everywhere. It is empty, save for a table with a duster, two shoeboxes, rubber gloves, and a bathrobe on it.}

TROGADOR: This is surprisingly roomy.

{Trogador walks over to the table and picks up the duster.}

TROGADOR: I guess this is for dusting?

{Trogador starts to dust. The screen fades to black. A few seconds later, the words 12 DAYS LATER appear on it. Cut to The Living Room. Kray and Drew are watching TV. John walks in.}

JOHN: Hey guys, where's Trogador?

KRAY: Ah dunnah, ask Drew.

DREW: I don't know, ask Clyde.

{Clyde and Master Z walk in.}

JOHN: Hey Clyde, where's Trogador?

CLYDE: Fatty? I last saw him hanging out by Pasty.

MASTER Z: I last saw him go into the treehouse.

{Some dishes are heard crashing. Tampo hovers into the room quickly.}

TAMPO: Did you just say Trogador went in the treehouse?

MASTER Z: Yes, he wanted to be alone.

TAMPO: Oh, no no no! You idiot! Why would you do that?!

MASTER Z: What? What did I do?

TAMPO: That treehouse has some weird...mystical properties, let's say. Lots of black magic and the like. I went in it once and came out an oversized, hovering brain with eyes...

JOHN: That's not your origin story.

TAMPO: Oh, wait, yeah, that got retconned. Anyways that treehouse is still bad news.

KRAY: Izzy dead?

TAMPO: Depends. How long has he been up there?

MASTER Z: 12 days, give or take.

TAMPO: 12 days?! We need to rescue him right now! I have a suit and everything, oxygen tanks, you name it.

CLYDE: Since when did you care about Trogador?

TAMPO: He pays my rent.

DREW: Who's gonna go rescue him?

TAMPO: I think Mr. Devil's Advocate over here should do it.

MASTER Z: I don't think that's what Devil's Advocate means.

TAMPO: See? There you go again, advocatin'.

MASTER Z: I wasn't advocating anything-

TAMPO: I don't wanna hear it! You're getting in the scuba suit and you're rescuing Trogador!

{cut to the entrance of the treehouse. Z toddles through it, wearing a bulky suit with one of those scuba helmets. You know the one I'm talking about.}

MASTER Z: Trogador, where are you? Troga-Trogador?! Is that you?

{The camera pans over to show Trogador dusting the table intensely. He is wearing the red bathrobe, gloves, and has the boxes on his feet. His eyes are all buggy. Z runs up to him and pushes him.}

MASTER Z: Trogador, you need to get out of here!

TROGADOR: Can't leave...so dirty...so very dirty...

{Trogador turns around to face Z and gasps. He points at Z.}

TROGADOR: You...you're dirty! So incredibly dirty! I must clean you!

MASTER Z: Uhh...Trogador...calm down...

{Trogador starts to hit Z with the duster.}

TROGADOR: Dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty!
MASTER Z: Ow! Stop that! Stop that right now!

{Master Z runs out of the treehouse. Cut to The Backyard. Everybody stands around. Master Z enters the scene and takes off his helmet.}

JOHN: How'd it go?

MASTER Z: He beat me with a duster. Clyde, it's go-time.

{Clyde takes out a chainsaw and revs it up. He runs forward. The camera pans out to show Clyde hacking and chopping at the treehouse. He cuts through it and it falls over with a crash. A purple gas comes of the stump and briefly turns into a skull before disappearing. Everybody runs up to the wreckage.}

DREW: Where's Mr. Trogador? Is he okay?

{The camera pans back to show Trogador standing behind everybody.}

TROGADOR: 'Course I'm okay, Drew. Why's everybody around the treehouse remains?

JOHN: Trog, we rescued you from a black magic curse. Don't you remember?

TROGADOR: Black magic curse? In the treehouse? But I haven't been in there for like 2 weeks.

TAMPO: Are you sure?

TROGADOR: Yeah, I've just been swarmed at the office. What's going on?

MASTER Z: Trogador, do you have any other evil brothers out there? Or an imperfect clone? Maybe a mentally ill, cleanliness obsessed clone?

TROGADOR: Not that I remember, but I didn't remember the last evil brother I had, so hey, anything's possible!

MASTER Z: Well, um...Tampo?

TAMPO: No, Z, we're not gonna talk about this. Let's just pretend it never happened.

{The camera slowly pans back to a conveniently placed patch of trees behind Tampo's house. Rodagore is laying down with binoculars. The other brother is freaking out behind him at all of the dirt around.}

RODAGORE: Quiet, Manfredador. You'll be clean soon...we'll both be clean.

{Rodagore chuckles to himself.}

RODAGORE: By that I mean I'll kill Trogador and steal his life.

{Rodagore chuckles again.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

• Trogador's email song is a parody of the theme song for Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
• Trogador's mental state near the end is a direct take-off from Howard Hughes' mental state near the end of his life yes this gets me closer to going to Hell your point
• The first brother Trogador refers to is Rodagore, from the email of the same name.