(even if you aren't vegan)
Noxigar's Origin
Contents
The Story
The World That Never Was
I don't remember anything of my past self.
All I remembered was existing in a world that never really existed. At least, for the few seconds remaining of its one-sided life.
Someone detonated a bomb. No one to tell me what happened. Loneliness. A castle crashes down on many of the empty "melodies" of this world.
I saw a short person in a black jacket. He held a sword with a key-shaped edge.
I approach the wielder of this "keyblade". He looks up.
"You lost?" he asks.
I simply utter a "Yes".
"You shouldn't be. Say, are you with Xehanort?" was his response.
I shake my head and asks, "Who is he?"
"Heh, you must be new. I'm Mickey." Mickey chuckled. "Go through this door."
He pointed at a door. I tried opening the knob to no avail.
"Remember this; you are a Nobody. You are not average or an average being. You were to be of Organization XIII, before Roxas betrayed them." Mickey informed me rather hastily as he departed.
"... Organization XIII?" I ask. With no one to tell me anything, I hastily opened the door.
Twilight Town
I enter a mansion at the other side of the door, closing it behind me.
I see a room full of drawings. They are drawings of a spiky-haired person wielding the same weapon as the mouse. I see the sketchbook, turning to an empty page.
Out of boredom, I tried drawing a theta sign. Mathematical. I was close, but no cigar.
"No cigar", I uttered, trying again.
Suddenly, I came up with my name. "Nocigar". Not too difficult. I continued trying, each time failing. I went with the number Zero, since it was the closest I did to drawing a theta. Then I saw the name of the spiky-haired person. His name was "Roxas". Others had names, too. Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Xion. One of them was seen in Roxas' arms, or so the drawing depicted.
I saw the people with the names. Each had an "X" in it. Mickey also told me that I was in Organization XIII, and the people were in that same group. They all seemed like outcasts.
I changed my name from "Nocigar" to "Noxigar," keeping the pronunciation intact.
One of the drawings on the wall was a blonde-haired person drawing the same sketchbook I saw on the table. Underneath it said, "Namine". Too bad this "Namine" wasn't around. I took the sketchbook and left the mansion.
Very few people in Twilight Town. None spoke to me. Again I felt alone.
At least there was a train to take me to a different place. No one else rode. Again, solo.
Yensid's Castle
The train stopped at some castle. I decided to enter it. I found a magician. His name was Yensid.
"What are you doing here?" the magician, Yensid, asked.
"Pardon me" I said humbly "I wanted to find a different world to reside. I thought the train was sufficient, but it stopped here."
Yensid glared, "Hmph. Very well. Don't be long. I was mastering a spell for King Mickey."
He said a familiar name. The "King" title threw me off, however.
"I won't be. Do you know anything about an Organization XIII?" I inquisited.
Yensid gasped. "You're not one of them, I hope..."
"I am." I stated, "Noxigar, number Zero."
Yensid cackled, "Bahahaha, there's no number Zero. Go away, I'll probably die laughing."
I did not like his laughter. I put my arm to face Yensid, trying to cast a "spell" to get him to take me more seriously. My lack of a hand made him laugh even harder.
"Kid, you crack me up!" was his statement.
I left, disgusted. It was apparent that, as a Nobody, I would not be taken seriously. I put my arm out again. A dark portal swirled like a tornado.
I thought, Better than nothing, I guess...
I went in.
Free Country USA
The portal took me to a green field. It looked lively, until some masked fellow decided to burn an inactive car.
The masked man cackled, "Alright guys, let's go before Bubs gets back!"
The masked man and his minions, a cheetah-like cheesewedge and a no-necked wrestleman, left hastily.
I followed them to their house. They did not notice, obviously, because of the lack of footsteps.
I drew myself following them in the sketchbook, not being detected because I drew myself that way. Suddenly, I'm at the house of "the Brothers Strong" (read from their red mailbox).
House of the Brothers Strong
I went up the stairs quickly before being detected by the people who turned around to close the door.
I found myself in a purple-interior house. I met a person with a white head, gray body, and elephant feet.
"Hello, stranger. I presume you are a friend of Strong Bad?" That was all the elephant feet person said. He was rather polite.
"Close, but no cigar." My response. No idea why I said that.
"No cigar? I don't smoke." He didn't get it.
"My name is Noxigar. Got it memorized?" My response, for some reason.
"Nice to meet you." He took out his hand. "I'm Strong Sad." I did not have a hand, but he shook his as I held out my arm.
"Ah, a bunch of lame people" the masked guy was now in Strong Sad's house.
"Strong Bad, leave Noxigar alone. He has nothing to do with you." Strong Sad's tone changed to be extremely annoyed. I could see why.
"Okay, you're both weird. I'll-"
I hear incoherent babbling with a squeaky voice.
"Ugh, the Cheat's stuck in the dryer." Strong Bad rolled his eyes. "I have to go save him... again..."
Strong Bad heads downstairs. Strong Sad sighs, "That's my lesser-intelligent brother."
I nod, not remembering what a "brother" is.
"He and Strong Mad, my other brother, bully me." Strong Sad explained. "They have a pet known as The Cheat. Hey, maybe tomorrow I can show you around the place."
And so tomorrow came. Tomorrow came like a smack to the face.
"Hey Noxigar. Wake up." Strong Sad's voice was far from melodious, but so far he was the only friend I had. "Let's introduce you to Homestar Runner."
And so we went to Homestar Runner's house.
Homestar Runner's House
Strong Sad knocked on Homestar Runner's front door. He opened it.
"Hi, Strong Sad" some person with no arms said. "Whaddya want?"
"Noxigar, meet Homestar. And vice-versa." Strong Sad stated calmly.
Neither of us shook hands, because we did not have any to shake with.
"Nice to meet you." Homestar yawned. He then slammed his door.
That's it? I thought.
We went back to the House of the Brothers Strong, taking a detour because Strong Sad wanted to show me around the countryside.
Bubs' Concession Stand
Our first stop was Bubs' Concession Stand.
"Hello there." said Bubs, "Who's the new face?"
I introduced myself, after whispering to Strong Sad that I would, "Name's Noxigar, Number 0 of Organization XIII."
"Organization XIII?" Bubs was surprised, "Well, we don't have any discounts for Organization XIII members. Otherwise I'd give you a free candy bar."
I sighed. Strong Sad spoke, saying, "I'm sure you're not giving him soy products."
"Nope," Bubs shook his head. "Authentic candy bar."
I snatched the candy bar.
"HEY!" Bubs beamed. "You better pay for that."
"Sorry" Strong Sad said, "You need money first."
I sigh, returning the candy bar. Strong Sad and I continue moving through the field.
The Stick
Strong Sad and I find a bunch of weird-looking creatures that looked like mushrooms. Each had a weird emblem on them.
"What are they?" Strong Sad asked.
I perused, "There aren't even any subtle hints as to figure what they are. I wouldn't know."
"Never mind them, I suppose. But the Stick is usually a place where Strong Bad hangs out. I'm guesing he's responsible for these things being around." Strong Sad observed. "Let's leave before they attack us."
I took out the sketchbook, drawing the places Strong Sad had shown me around.
We returned to Strong Sad's house. Homsar was there, dressed in the same cloak I was.
"AaAaAaAaAa... time for the hefty basket." Homsar said. I was puzzled as to the meaning of his words.
Strong Sad sighed, "Homsar, the item you are wearing is not a Hefty garbage bag."
Strong Sad's knowledge of Homsar's sayings puzzled me, too.