NachoMan Emails/1

Transcript

{cut to nachoman's computer room. he has an entire room dedicated to his computer and nothing else.}

NACHOMAN: I do not need to sing a song before I check my email. In fact, I do not know why I am speaking aloud while I am checking my email either. I should keep my thoughts inside my head, considering I am not in a conversation with anyone.

so i herd u liek me

-mudkip

NACHOMAN: Hmmm...

{NachoMan types the following response.}

Hello, Mudkip. I am sorry, but you are sadly mistaken.
I am not a big fan of the newer Pokemon series, although I
did enjoy the older games when I was a kid.
But don't get down! I'm sure you'll find someone who loves
you for who you are!
-NachoMan

NACHOMAN: {thinking} I think I handled that well. {clicks send}

AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Your inbox is empty.

NACHOMAN: {sighs} I only get spam. Maybe if I had friends one of them would send me a real message once in a while..

{NachoMan takes a sip of coffee.}

NACHOMAN: Perhaps I should visit a social networking site. Maybe then I can find companionship.

{NachoMan types in "socialnetworkingsite.com" and presses enter. A webpage pops up.}

NACHOMAN: Hmm, I have to enter a lot of personal information.. Oh, but I can set it to private! This works! That way I do not get stalked by pedophiles and can instead only give out my location to a person I trust. How convenient!

{Cut to a transition screen reading Three Days Later... We then cut back to NachoMan.}

NACHOMAN: A whole three days has gone by, and nobody has responded to any of my friend requests. I guess I am not cut out for love...

{NachoMan looks out the window. He sees happy couples walking to and fro down the street. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He types something on a blank MSWord document and walks away. A chair can be heard falling over. The message on the computer reads "Goodbye cruel world". Suddenly, ten popups come up on the screen, all reading "Friend Request Approved!".}

{Cut to a black screen with the words "LIFE IS MEANINGLESS".}

Fun Facts

• NachoMan is not really dead. He was hospitalized for a few days but after some therapy returned to his normal life. He is much happier now.
• NachoMan lives in a condo.
• The emails title has nothing to do with the plot. The title was made before the email was planned, therefore they did not match up.