(even if you aren't vegan)
Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Spirit/4
Two halls away Sean and Madison were getting ready for their first class; art.
BLUEBRY: call me a grammar nazi but that semi-colon should be a colon
NACHOMAN: "Their posters for this week's Japanese Club meeting were almost ready to be hung around the school, staining every wall they came in contact with."
They were just sitting down when they thought they saw Kali.
NACHOMAN:"But upon closer inspection it was just a bag of garbage"
"Hey! Kali!" Sean called. He waved his hand in the air to catch her attention. The said girl turned, but it wasn't Kali.
BLUEBRY: "It was also a dude and it was super awkward."
"Do you know guys know my sister?" Meg asked.
Sean and Madison noticed that Meg and Kali looked very much the same.
BLUEBRY: ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE RELATED OR SOMETHING
Meg was barely an inch shorter than Kali. Kali's hair was raven black and shined white, while Meg's night black hair seemed to shine purple. They had the same build and they even had similar shaped faces and almond eyes. The only major physical difference was their eyes. Kali's were a deep, soft blue-purple, but Meg's were a striking green.
NACHOMAN: But I thought their eyes were both almond
'Those have got to be contacts." Madison thought as she looked her over.
Sean grinned. 'This'll be fun. Let's see if she knows.'
NACHOMAN: "HEY I'M TOTALLY BONING YOUR SISTER!"
"I didn't know Kali had a sister, although Danny probably knows." He said slyly.
"Danny?" Meg asked thoughtfully. She was profoundly confused because she recognized the name but couldn't place it. Then it dawned on her and she snapped her fingers. "Oh! You must be the group of friends she met yesterday! The ones who told her about-"
Meg was cut off by Sean placing a finger on her lips.
BLUEBRY: "It was not his; well it technically was his, but it didn't used to be. Sean has realized the benefits of hanging out by the creek that runs behind the closed-down Circuit City."
She looked at him again but this time glared. Sean made himself suppress a shiver that ran down his spine.
"So," Madison almost whispered, "Did Kali tell you everything?"
"She did. I think you're Madison, right? And," Meg looked him over and noted his cocky smile, "Sean?" She stuck out her hand. "My name is Meg!"
Sean stood up from his chair, gently grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Tis a pleasure, madam," he said, overly exaggerating his faked British accent. "You may call me Sean."
NACHOMAN: "But most people just call me douche bag"
Meg raised an eyebrow in question at Madison. Madison replied by letting out a frustrated sigh and smacking him on his head. "Quite flirting, Sean, it's making me sick." Madison turned to Meg. "Ignore him the best you can. He's always like this."
Sean chuckled lightly and whispered in Meg's ear
BLUEBRY: "Do you want me to rock your world?"
while Madison walked away to get their supplies, "She's always like that, ya know. Stick in the mud, and stuck deep."
NACHOMAN: "So uh, should we start having sex now or what?"
Madison threw a knowing glare his way. Sean shrugged it off and laughed again. "Just kiddin'. That's Madison. Best cook you'll ever meet
BLUEBRY: oh, sure, the woman is a good cook. never a man.
and really head strong. Don't get in a verbal war with her though, because you'll lose by a landslide."
"You say that as if you have experience." Meg teased.
"More than you'd think. She always outsmarts everyone."
"Wanna bet?"
BLUEBRY: this is when meg outsmarts madison and the mary sue family dynasty is established
"Is that a challenge, Missy?" Sean emphasized 'Missy' and shot back, "She'll beat you before you can say a word. It's happened."
"You can take it that way, but I think you missed most of the talking before because you were too busy ogling at her to concentrate." Meg added slyly. She watched in amusement as his eyes doubled in size.
BLUEBRY: you should get that checked out
"I don't..." Sean pouted and crossed his arms. "I don't know where you get such rubbish from."
BLUEBRY: wait, is he actually british?
"You are so obvious; I wouldn't be surprised if she knew you liked her. You practically yell just by your body posture, 'I like her!'"
BLUEBRY: "Also, you have a massive erection."
Meg said and crossed her arms to mimic Sean.
Sean stared at her at let out a defeated sigh. "Man. I just met you and you can tell. Is it that obvious, or are you psychic or something?"
"Or something," Meg replied
BLUEBRY: "creating with it the air of mystery that will surround the mary sue."
and thanked Madison when she returned with their supplies. The conversation was dropped and they began to paint.
* * *
There were five minutes left of class when Andy woke Kali up.
NACHOMAN: "mmm, I just had the greatest dream about my fursona"
Because Danny was between them, he grabbed a pencil and poked her head with the eraser. Andy learned very quickly that she did not appreciate being woken up by pencil-prodding.
BLUEBRY: that's weird. i love it.
Kali glared at Andy after breaking the said pencil and dropping the splinters on the floor.
Andy rolled his eyes. 'She's worse than Sean.'
NACHOMAN: I doubt that's possible.
"Morning sunshine."
BLUEBRY: comma
He said sarcastically. He grabbed another pencil and began prodding Danny while Kali got her things together.
*poke* Danny mumbled and shifted his head so it buried deeper in his arms that were stationed as a pillow. *poke poke*
Danny's hand snapped up and Andy's pencil received a similar fate as to that of Kali's. His hand came back down to work as a pillow and he continued sleeping. Andy's eye twitched.
'How many pencils will I need to go through to get this guy up?! He sleeps like a log.'
Kali leaned over and pinched his ear gently. Danny mumbled and slowly woke up. Andy's eye twitched again. Danny looked up at the clock.
"Aw, Man! I still had three minutes of sleep left. Why'd you go an' wake me up?" he asked, yawning when he finished.
"Because it takes you at least three minutes to actually wake up." Andy sighed. Danny gave him a look. "As in not walking into walls or," he glanced and Kali and grinned, "Tripping and falling into your next class."
BLUEBRY: i-i don't get it
"Hey!"
NACHOMAN: "Your confusing remarks offend me!"
"You also owe me a pencil." Andy said, ignoring Kali's remark and glaring at Danny again. Danny looked at the remains of Andy's pencils on the floor.
"Oops."
Kali pointed to the clock with her thumb. "Like Danny said, we've got a few minutes still until the end of class. What do you wanna do?
BLUEBRY: "Haha, instead of like, school, because who needs education? I love wasting taxpayer money!"
Let's compare schedules, so we know what classes we have together in case of emergencies." Danny suggested.
NACHOMAN: Danny always has the best ideas.
He absentmindedly flipped through his folder, still half asleep, looking for his schedule.
"Looking for this?" Andy said, holding up Danny's schedule which had been conveniently lying right in front of him on his desk.
"Yeah, thanks," Danny said and grabbed his schedule from Andy.
!
BLUEBRY: !
Kali and Danny both fell out of their seats, landing right on top of each other.
BLUEBRY: "They made passionate love right there in the middle of English class. When they were finished the entire class applauded."
Glaring at the speaker that was right next to them, even though they were in the back, they untangled themselves.
NACHOMAN: oh god
Danny's eye twitched in annoyance
BLUEBRY: okay that is the third time i've seen that in this and let me just say, nobody's eyes do that
when Andy along with half the class, broke out into a fir of laughter.
'I hate these stupid bells,' Kali thought.
Danny got back to their original subject as they gathered their things for their next class. "So, what classes do you have?"
"P.E. Then math and biology."
"Cool," Andy said, "Same as me, but Danny has history instead of biology."
"Then lunch, history, and music." Kali finished.
NACHOMAN: THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING
"Andy. Don't you have tech or something?" Danny asked.
"Yeah," Andy said, and then added in a teasing voice like Sean, "I want you two to behave while I'm not around. I don't want to find out from someone that you guys were getting too friendly with each other!" Andy winked and ran ahead to P.E. to avoid getting clobbered.
Both Danny and Kali went red, and Danny muttered
BLUEBRY: so he's that type
a string of curses and death threats as he could. Kali quickly grabbed Danny and dragged him to P.E. when she realized they were going to be late.
They went to their respective locker rooms and changed, and were glad to know that they were in the same class.
"Today, class, we'll be playing soccer." said the gym teacher. "Now, I know that all of you get sick of taking days to go over the rules each year, so we'll skip all that and get straight to playing. If you have any question, ask me. Danny will be one captain and our new student, Kali, can be the other.
BLUEBRY: how coincidental
There will be twelve on each team."
"Andy," Danny said. "You're my first player."
"Kyle." Kali called.
"Mary Beth."
"Michael."
"John."
"Sara."
"Alex."
BLUEBRY: and not a single culturally diverse name was called
NACHOMAN: one stupid asian kid should be enough for any school
They continued calling off names until everyone was chosen and preceded to the soccer field outside.
Danny played the stopper position and was now fully awake. Andy was goalie. Their color was green. Kali was on the red team as a striker.
"Captains shake hands, call in the air." The teacher acted as the referee. He flipped the coin.
"Heads."
"Tails."
The referee caught the quarter and called, "Heads. The red team gets the choice of field or kickoff."
NACHOMAN: SPIRIT!
"We want kickoff," replied Jenni, who was the other captain for the red team.
BLUEBRY: wait but i thought-just nevermind
The referee blew his whistle and the game began.
Jenni kicked the ball to Kali who took it down the field. She maneuvered down and around the midfielders and defenders. Danny was shocked by her speed, but was able to slow her down with a slide tackle that nearly got her. Kali blasted the ball at the far left corner of the goal.
Andy managed a diving catch before he punted the ball down to the red team's defense line. The game continued for forty minutes before the teacher blew his whistle and called end of game. The ending score was 0-0, and both teams were for once glad of the school's temperature of 50°.
BLUEBRY: that sentence was so convoluted i can't understand it
"Where'd you learn to kick like that? Most girls I've seen play won't go near the ball."
BLUEBRY: "They're all afraid they'll break a nail and then they online shop on their iPhones because that is the role of women in any successful society!"
Andy asked as the three friends walked to math. They took seats at the front. There was already an advanced algebra problem on the board.
NACHOMAN: "What are all these X's and Y's doing in this math problem???"
Their teacher, Mr. Kurtz, had a long nose and straight white hair. His spectacles were so far down on his nose that none of the students thought that he could actually see through them.
"Today, class, we will do a review of everything you've learned so far. Take out a sharp pencil and clear your desks. Consider this a pop quiz." His voice was raspy, but commanding. He left no room for questions.
"Sounds like an old sergeant from the army, doesn't he?" whispered Danny to Kali.
"Yeah."
SLAP!
BLUEBRY: "You may only speak when I say you may!"
A meter stick slapped down across their desks. "You will also remain SILENT during ALL of my class period." Mr. Kurtz glared at Danny and Kali. "Do you think you can handle that, Mr. Connor and Miss Kitsonu?"
"Yes, sir," they mumbled.
"Good. Now, on with the test."
'Oh. Joy." The three thought simultaneously and they began the four- page 'quiz'.
* * *
"So Danny is Sean's brother then?" Meg asked.
"Sort of. They were both raised at the same orphanage so they consider themselves brothers. They care about each other a lot, despite how they act together," Madison replied. "So, how old are you?"
"I'll be fifteen in a couple months." Meg replied. She was painting a picture of a crescent moon from a dream.
"Cool." Madison replied. Her painting was of a sunset up in the clouds. It wasn't very good,
NACHOMAN: "In fact it was actually pretty awful now that I think about it"
but compared to Sean's "picture" it was a masterpiece. "Your birthday is pretty close to mine then.
NACHOMAN: "WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON AND STUFF HEH"
So what were you and Sean talking about, anyways? He has never gone this long without talking." Sean glared at Meg as if daring her to mention anything.
"Nothing," Meg replied, smirking back at Sean's glare, making him glare even harder.
"Well, you sure riled him up over nothing. Watch your step; he likes to play tricks on people to get his revenge,"
BLUEBRY: "Once somebody bumped into him and didn't apologize and the next day he was found dead in a creek behind the old Circuit City. I think Sean did it because he hangs out there a lot."
Madison warned playfully.
"Sure." Madison and Sean stopped painting and looked at her strangely.
BLUEBRY: "Nobody ever uses that tone with me. Do you understand?"
Meg now had a blank look on her face and her voice became low and monotone. She was staring straight ahead and her eyes had dilated.
BLUEBRY: "She had to ask, 'How do I know if it's working?' 'It's working,' Madison replied."
Sean waved a hand in front of her face. Meg picked up her brush and began painting something in black. He was now really concerned, as was Madison.
"Yo, Meg, quit fooling around.
BLUEBRY: "For real, dog! Hizz-house! Inspector Deck!"
This is ten different kinds of creepy" Sean said. Madison looked at her eyes and immediately tore her gaze away. When she'd looked at her eyes, chills ran up and down her spine, and it almost sounded as though someone was laughing at her. Meg continued painting.
"Snap out of it!" Madison shook her shoulders and turned her away from the picture. She blinked and looked normal again, and quite confused.
"What are you doing?" Meg asked then looked at her picture and mumbled to no one, "Go away." in a small voice.
BLUEBRY: and thus the mystery that murks the clear waters of the mary sue grew even more opaque; millions were annoyed.
Madison wondered if she'd heard it at all.
On her paper was a detailed picture of a demon clad in a black cloak. This time, his face was showing although the hood was up. A pale, mocking face was grinning at them, and in his hands was a metallic dark blue orb that was glowing silver.
BLUEBRY: "The teacher then walked over and suggested that Meg see the school counselor."
Sean hadn't looked at the picture yet. "You totally zoned out on us. What were you d-"Sean stopped talking the moment he saw the picture.
"Sean, we need to find the others. That demon is starting something. We need to watch our backs." Madison said. Meg tore off the picture and crumpled it up before throwing it in the garbage.
"But-"
BLUEBRY: {snickers}
"No buts!"
BLUEBRY: {snickers}
Madison replied hotly.
"What's going on?" Meg asked. "What is so weird? I drew a weird picture, it's happened before, so stop being paranoid."
NACHOMAN: "I draw foxes wearing diapers eating smaller foxes and you guys never complain about that!"
"We'll tell you later." Sean said, his voice was hinting that they were drawing attention. The rest of the class period held no interruption, and Sean continued his picture something that looked like a cross between a blob and a rainbow.
The trio walked out of the art classroom. Meg usually liked art because she was good at it, but after drawing a creature that Madison and Sean recognized and feared, she was a bit wary. Madison was still shaking off the feeling she got when Meg had been in the trance.
"What did you mean by 'or something'?" Sean asked out of the blue.
"What are you talking about?" Meg asked. She wasn't really in the explaining mood right now.
"Yes, please explain." Madison added, equally edgy.
"When I asked if you were psychic or something, you said, 'or something'. What did you mean?" Sean asked again.
Meg sighed that it wasn't a difficult question. "Oh, yeah, that. I have this , for lack of a better word, ability to feel people's emotions. Things like anger, lust, pain. Stuff like that," she explained.
"Empathy." Madison clarified.
BLUEBRY: WOW SHE HAS EMPATHY? that's weird! who else would have that power?
BLUEBRY: oh wait everybody
"Yup."
Sean chuckled. "Guess that's how come Kali didn't get away with lying about where she went. You could tell that she was lying because she felt nervous."
"Well, yeah, that and Kali can't lie to save her life. She shows too much emotion all the time.
NACHOMAN: "Why can't she just be a robot devoid of feeling any emotions towards anything?"
Like in those old movies from the 50's," Meg said. They continued walking so they wouldn't be late for science class.
"So you can not show your emotions?" Sean asked.
BLUEBRY: "...I don't have emotions anymore."
He was trying to catch her off guard.
"Let's just say that I'd be really good at poker." Meg smiled back. Sean opened his mouth to reply, but realized he didn't have any way to catch her with that comment. 'Guess he doesn't have a snappy comeback for once.' Meg thought as he opened then closed his mouth again.
BLUEBRY: no shit sherlock
Madison watched all this in amusement. "Wow Sean. Looks like Meg left you at a loss for words. You've been beaten!" Madison raised Meg's hand in the air, and then whispered to Meg,
BLUEBRY: "Have you ever wondered what it would be like with another woman?"
"He has this thing where he has to be able to outsmart people. So far, he's always caught people off guard with their own words."
Both girls grinned as they entered their science room. Sean was still glaring daggers at them when the two girls stopped dead. He bumped into them and backed off slightly.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Both girls' faces showed surprise and confusion. Sean looked around the room and his face mirrored theirs.
"Okay, I realize that science isn't the most exciting class and students have a tendency to fall asleep, but this is ridiculous!"
"What happened? And where's the teacher?" Meg asked and looked around. Every student in the class was unconscious.
BLUEBRY: "Guys, wake up, we gotta clean up before my parents get home."
They were on desks, by the window, and on the floor, just lying there. Madison couldn't even see them breathe.
Meg gasped and quickly turned her head away from the black board. "Ew."
"What?" Sean asked and stared at where Meg had pointed. Madison copied Meg and muttered, "Oh my God."
Face into the blackboard was the science teacher, with a long black sword protruding from her back. The smell of fresh blood wafted through the air, making their stomach's tighten. A trail of blood flowed slowly now down the wall and into a formed puddle on the floor. Whatever demon had done this had killed recently.
NACHOMAN: THREE DAY WEEKEND! WHOO!
* * *
Kali and Andy ran through the empty hallways.
"I can't believe we're late!" Andy muttered. "Danny's history class was two doors down. He isn't late. But NO!!! Biology had to be on the other side of the building on the third floor!"
"Let's just get there, okay?" Kali panted.
Turning the corner they found the biology room. Andy opened the door and went in, followed closely by Kali. They were met with two glaring crystal eyes.
"You must be Andy Thompson and Kah. Lee. Co. Kit. So. Nu." Mrs. Roberts said, pronouncing the syllables in Kali's name slowly. She set the attendance sheet back down. "I'm glad that you decided to grace us with you presence." Her voice was dripping in sarcasm.
BLUEBRY: oh thank god you said that, i thought she was being serious
Kids in the class snickered as Kali and Andy muttered apologies and took the only two open seats by the window.
Mrs. Roberts opened a window before returning to the front of the class and starting the lesson. "Today, class we'll be learning about-"
The class broke out into screams as a long, black sword but through the teacher's throat and pinned her corpse to the wall.
BLUEBRY: "I knew I shouldn't have dropped acid before class."
Two figures clad in black robes, only one with a sword drawn, made themselves visible in the back of the room. One moved to towards the front of the room to the dead teacher and removed his sword, wiping the blood on the ends of his robe.
The other demon removed its cloak revealing a beautiful female demon. Her hair was fiery orange with red highlights that fell in wavy lengths to the small of her back. Vibrant yellow eyes scanned the classroom, searching. When her eyes landed on Kali and Andy, she grinned maliciously, showing sharp canines.
The former demon now took off his cloak. This one, like the orange haired demon, looked similar to humans if you ignored the foreign markings on their shoulders and odd colors decorating their features. His skin was very pale, a strong contrast to that of the female demon's caramel skin.
"Them?" he sneered, pushing a troublesome light blue strand of hair out of his face. It immediately fell back in his face. His cold grey eyes looked Andy and Kali over. "Che. You must be mistaken, Kuro,
BLUEBRY: because all demons are japanese
they are children." He glared at them.
All of the students slowly moved as far away from Andy and Kali as possible without getting near the demons.
Kuro snorted in response. "You're a fool, Zinc.
BLUEBRY: did you seriously name a character after an element of the periodic table
Concentrate. They just don't have their stones, meaning they can't fight back." She brought her hands together in front of her chest and was soon engulfed in flames.
"Can Danny do that?" Kali whispered.
"Not without his stone, he can't." Andy replied shaking his head.
Zinc took a ready stance, both hands forming fists at his sides.
BLUEBRY: just kill 'em already
Immediately a cold rush of wind swept through the room, causing a thin sheet of ice to form on the chairs, desks, walls, and floor.
"Whoa, that's cold!" Andy stuttered, rubbing his arms in a futile attempt to get warm. A harpoon materialized in his hand. It was made completely of ice.
Kuro had fire concentrated in her hands and her cocky smirk was annoying both of them.
Kali elbowed Andy lightly. "What do we do?"
"Find an exit or something,"
BLUEBRY: "I guess we pull the fire alarm."
he muttered quickly, eyeing the approaching ice demon from the left and fire demon from the right.
Andy and Kali inched further back until they were flat against the wall. Andy risked a look behind him a saw the three story drop.
'Maybe.' he thought.
"Should we run for the door?" Kali asked.
"No. We'll never make it. For some reason, agility is a common trait with those wielding fire."
BLUEBRY: the "some reason" in this case is that it was convenient
Andy answered and fumbled with the lock on the window and slowly pushed it back.
"Then what do you propose we do?" Kali asked behind clenched teeth.
"Jump!" Andy grabbed Kali around the waist and jumped out the open window,
BLUEBRY: "Kali! I'm going to use you to cushion my fall!"
just as Zinc and Kuro decided to attack. They fell through the window head first, a string of curses following them. Kali shut her eyes as the wind whipped through her hair and whizzed past her ears.
'Who would've thought school in America would end up being so eventful?' she thought sarcastically.
NACHOMAN: Teachers dropping dead all over the place! This is just bonkers!"