Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Spirit/3

Danny yelled in pain as a scythe cut across his shoulder. He looked for his attacker, but found only shadows. 'Great. It must be a shadow demon.'

CHWOKA: Ugh. Shadow Demons are so passe.

He thought.

CHWOKA: Therefore, he was.

'It is not my lucky day.'

NACHOMAN: First we're outta milk, and now this

He just barely dodged as another scythe nearly sliced off his head.

BLUEBRY: damn, just missed

He got a glimpse of the shadow demon before it melted back into the darkness. Danny scanned the area around him. 'Damn! There's no way to track him, and I can't attack.' Not his day for luck at all.

CHWOKA: Because I seized it. I seized the day and now nobody else can have it.

A scythe appeared from his left and he dodged it easily.

CHWOKA: There was nobody holding the scythe, so it just fell over.

Too easily. He then realized his mistake. By dodging backwards from the first scythe, he got in range of a second scythe coming from behind. He tried dodging again, but the scythe turned with him and cut him across his stomach.

BLUEBRY: "His lunch spilled out of his guts. A turkey and Swiss with a slight bit of Tabasco. Sun Chips and Oreos. And most regretful of all, Diet Snapple. As Danny lay there, bleeding profusely, nearing death, all he could think about was how the lunch stung his exposed innards. How it felt to have little pieces of acid-dripped processed food inside of his flesh, each morsel a needle stabbing him at his most vulnerable moment. As he died, he tasted the blood dripping from the bottom of his throat up. Coughing, dieing, with his intestines and fat and muscle spread out across the pavement, mixing with the decomposed contents of his stomach, Danny couldn't help but cry. He felt miserable; he felt worse than miserable. He could not remember his past, he couldn't bear to think of it. All thought that he could muster was on the sweet, delicious thought of death, of the blood spurting out of his mouth. An answer to his prayers, Danny died violently right there on 2nd and Walnut."
CHWOKA: ...
NACHOMAN: ...
SKUB: what the HELL

'I've gotta get out of here before I bleed to death or get my head shopped off.

CHWOKA: 'Well, it's an improvement over getting my head barter-and-traded off.'

Or both.' Danny thought. He winced as the first scythe came at him again and cut him in his arm,

CHWOKA: Maybe he should try aiming his scythe next time.

this time in a deep cut.

CHWOKA: The cut was already there, and the scythe plunged into the existant one, causing no damage whatsoever.

Wrapping his left arm over his stomach to slow the bleeding, he ran for his house. At least there it would be brighter, and he could get his Spirit Stone. 'We really need to finish the merging soon.' He thought bitterly. 'They're ready to attack and we can't fight back yet.'

BLUEBRY: buy a gun
CHWOKA: ^^^ that

His right shoulder throbbed from the first attack, but he kept running. The sunlight broke through

CHWOKA: HEY THERE MR. BLUE/IT'S SO NICE TO BE WITH YOU

the trees and clouds, making the shadow demon recoil.

NACHOMAN: buy a gun or a flashlight

No clouds came to block the setting sun, so Danny slowed down to a stop and tried to catch his breath. The demon hissed in pain

BLUEBRY: "for it was emo, and could not stand the sight of the sun. It sought refuge at the nearby Hot Topic."

and glared at him before he disappeared into the shadows.

CHWOKA: The shadows that weren't there.

"Good. He's finally gone." Danny said, sighing in relief. Blood dripped down his arm and wetted the front of his shirt, making it a dark red where blue once was. He winced and headed into the house.

Sean was pouring some soup into two bowls and pouring drinks

BLUEBRY: "Kir Royale, anyone?"

when Danny made it into the kitchen. Sean turned to him with a grin which fell and was promptly replaced with a worried expression.

"Danny, you look like shit, man." He said, half teasing but obviously worried.

BLUEBRY: "Haha dude I hope you don't die" "Yeah man that would be so lame" "Wisdom" They then pounded fists and Danny died from gangrene.

"No duh,

CHWOKA: "mom won't let me curse"

Sherlock. Mind giving me a hand cleaning these? I got cut on my shoulder, too." He replied dryly.

"Sure. Take off your shirt

BLUEBRY: {drools}

and I'll get the first aid kit." Sean took off towards the bathroom across from Danny's room. When he came back, Danny had taken off his shirt

BLUEBRY: {drools}

and trying to slow the bleeding with his hand.

CHWOKA: HAD TAKEN OFF HIS SHIRT AND TRYING TO SLOW THE BLEEDING. COMMENCE THE OPENING OF EYES TO MAKE BLINK. YOU CAN'T BECOME FIRE ME I BECOME QUIT. HE LIES ON HE'S BED AND HE GOES TO HE'S SLEEP.

It had little effect, for there were already drips of blood on the floor. "I hope you realize

CHWOKA: , this means war!"

I'm not going to clean that up."

CHWOKA: "Just gonna let that shit cake into the carpet."
BLUEBRY: it'll be so metal

Sean said. He grabbed a cloth and cold water.

"You don't clean anything up. Look at your room." Danny replied, and then winced when Sean patted the wet cloth on his skin around the wounds. "That hurt."

"It's going to.

CHWOKA: "It's vinegar water."

Your shoulder seems to be in the worse shape, so I'll get that first, then the cut on your stomach." He explained.

CHWOKA: "I'm cold," said Danny. "There, there," said Sean. "There, there."

"What were you doing to get these anyways?

BLUEBRY: "I LARP hardcore," Danny said as he showed off his Triforce tattoo.

I have trouble believing that you pissed Kali off and she did this."

Danny winced again while Sean wrapped his shoulder. "I was attacked on my way back, only about a block or two from here, by a shadow demon. He had two scythes. I couldn't see him, and I couldn't attack because I didn't have my stone."

CHWOKA: grow some stones already

He said the last sentence bitterly.

"Shadow demon, huh?

NACHOMAN: "Jeeze, Danny, you're really fuckin' crazy!"

At least we know a bit of what to expect now. You're fast,

CHWOKA: that's what she said

so he barely got you except for your shoulder" Sean moved to clean his stomach wound. "This might hurt a bit more than the shoulder." He warned Danny. Danny yelped as Sean applied some disinfectant.

CHWOKA: "Danny, you're the infection and I'm the cure."

"OW! Geeze, you don't need to dump some on the wound! You just dab it on!!" Danny yelled and hit Sean on the head.

CHWOKA: "Ehhhh, ya mg! What do you think ya're doin'?"

Sean rolled his eyes. "It just feels like I'm dumping it on because those scythes had probably killed numerous demons and other creatures before hitting you."

BLUEBRY: duh

Danny grimaced as a mental image came to him.

CHWOKA: Scythes and blades may break my bones, but only mental images can hurt me.

Sean cleaned the rest of his cuts and wrapped them up. "Thanks."

CHWOKA: ", JERK."

"Just keep weight off your shoulder and all that other crap doctors say." Sean grinned at Danny, who shook his head at his joke.

NACHOMAN: "Oh Sean, you always were the unfunny one."

"I seriously pray for the life of whomever you try to help in the future."

BLUEBRY: okay no teenager knows how to use "whom"

"Aw, come on," Sean grinned, "I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I accidentally left something in them, right?"

"Okay, we're about to eat, so could we get on a subject that won't give me bad mental pictures?"

BLUEBRY: sexy nuns

Sean said nothing, so Danny changed the subject.

"Did Andy and Madison go home already?" he inquired.

"Yup." Sean replied and grabbed the bowls of soup he'd poured earlier.

CHWOKA: He spilled them all over his nice shirt! "Oh no," said Sean, "looks like I'll have to take this shirt off..."
BLUEBRY: {drools}

"I see Madison made some soup for us. Good thing, too." Danny stated.

Sean faked a surprised and hurt voice, "I can cook just fine, mister!"

NACHOMAN: someone assure me that chapters 4 through 10 won't be non stop yaoi
BLUEBRY: someone assure me that it will be
NACHOMAN: bluebry that's disgusting
BLUEBRY: no it's just sad

Sean tried his hardest to look offended,

CHWOKA: It's something that doesn't come very natural.

but his wide childish eyes and open mouth made him look more like a fish.

BLUEBRY: attractive

Danny rolled his eyes and replied wryly, "Pickled radish and burnt liver sticks

CHWOKA: , fillet of a fenny snake, eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog, adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, lizard's leg and owlet's wing, scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, liver of blaspheming Jew, gall of goat, and slips of yew, nose of Turk and Tartar's lips, clips of reggae, rhythm & blues, master: mix those number one tunes.

is not dinner, it's disgusting."

CHWOKA: Disgusting: It's What's For Dinner

Sean poked him with the end of hid spoon.

CHWOKA: Just guess where it was hidden. Go ahead.
BLUEBRY: {drools}

"You just don't like eating healthy."

"I'm not the one who eats ice cream for breakfast!"

NACHOMAN: Spirit! A story of powerful demons and exciting elemental powers!... When we get around to it!"

"Humph. Excuse me Mr. I'll-just-flirt-with-the-new-girl."

Danny choked on his mouthful of

BLUEBRY: {drools}

soup and said, "I was just explaining everything to her!"

BLUEBRY: ...biblically

"Then did you tell her not to tell anyone about 'everything'?" Sean asked, a

NACHOMAN: Don't leave me hanging!
BLUEBRY: no no, the author is obviously canadian, eh.

BLUEBRY: hopefully not french canadian though

"Well, I was going to, but, she was tired and all, and it was getting late, and, uh."

CHWOKA: aND, uHH, wE ALMOST CERTAINLY DIDN'T HAVE SEX IF, uHH, tHAT'S WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING HERE,

Danny stuttered, and then quickly went back to eating his soup as though the question had never come up.

Sean sighed. "She seems smart.

CHWOKA: Looks can be deceiving.

I'm sure she won't tell anyone." Sean got up to get more soup and continued with his mouth full. "And even if she does,"

CHWOKA: Sean said, soup pouring out of his mouth.
SKUB: what a baka

Sean swallowed,

BLUEBRY: {drools}

"It will be someone that she can trust."

BLUEBRY: "Dear 'Blogosphere',"

"Yeah, I suppose." Danny and Sean finished his meal in silence.

CHWOKA: Whose meal?

"Hey, I'll be downstairs in my room.

CHWOKA: There will be a sock on the door. Don't bother me."

We've got school tomorrow, so get some rest." He headed to a door at the edge of the kitchen. He looked back over his shoulder. "Oh yeah, try not to ogle at Kali tomorrow like you were earlier." Sean smirked and hopped down the stairs, skipping that last few and landing with a 'thump!'

CHWOKA: "My head!" he cried.

Danny was left to clean the dishes. He was able to finish his homework in half an hour,

BLUEBRY: WHAT

and headed to his room. He undressed down to boxers,

BLUEBRY: {drools}

brushed his teeth, and went to bed.

CHWOKA: THE ACTION NEVER STARTS

He laid there thinking for a while about the day's events.

CHWOKA: I just realized this guy hasn't slept for like 3 days.

'Spirit never said what we were to do once we had found all six overlords. What are we supposed to do now?'

CHWOKA: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW? Taking off his turban, they said, "is this man a Jew?"
NACHOMAN: Okay Chwoka that's the second time you've mentioned Jews this episode. What are you doing?

'But now what? Half our team has families and responsibilities to worry about.

CHWOKA: And the other half?

How can we work in fighting demons? We aren't trained fighters.' Danny closed his eyes and fell into a quiet sleep.

A sickle moon

NACHOMAN: a what?

showed yellow in the dark velvet sky, an eerie glow about it.

CHWOKA: Misty purple prose wafted through the brisk, clear air.

No stars joined it in the sky and all nocturnal animals hid in their homes. None dared to come out, sensing an evil presence.

BLUEBRY: "Hey dude where's the party we're going to again?" "We can't go... I sense a disturbance..."

Five dark shadows walked through the forest. Each one was clad in a black robe with the hood pulled over their heads, hiding their faces, or where a face would be, in shadows.

BLUEBRY: "Peter was lucky because his mom allowed him to be out until 11 that night but the other members of the 'Dark Forest Guild, Fairfield CT Chapter' had to be home by 10 or they couldn't go to the 8th grade dance that weekend, and they had already spent half their money on a black shirt and a bright red tie."

Every plant they stepped on shriveled up and turned to ash. Long black sheathes held swords darker than the night, with blood rubies adorning the hilt. Each was thirsting for blood.

BLUEBRY: is this like twilight i love twilight

They reached the edge of the forest and ran through the night.

CHWOKA: And straight into day.

Anyone who had seen them at the edge of the forest would have seen nothing more than a small black blur,

CHWOKA: censorship

then nothing as they melted into the shadows for cover. One led the rest to a small block of houses, then to one in particular. They stood on the roof for a moment, before slowly materializing through the roof and into Kali and Meg's room.

Meg rubbed her nose and shifted over so she was facing them, but she was still asleep. A cold sweat was forming on her fore head and she whimpered in her sleep.

BLUEBRY: "She was dreaming that dream again. The bad one. You know."

The demons moved over to Kali's bed and unsheathed their swords.

Kali lay on her side,

CHWOKA: AND SHE GOES TO HER'S SLEEP

hands slightly curled up by her head.

CHWOKA: Her hands had been gnarled into an unrecognizable blob ever since the accident. It hurt forever and always.

All five demons lifted their swords simultaneously and brought them down.

BLUEBRY: i know this is supposed to mean that they killed her but i like to imagine that they raised them and then just lowered them back into place. all at the same time

Danny turned over again. It was 3:15 in the morning, yet he hadn't slept more than five minutes before he'd woken up.

CHWOKA: but you just said he fell into a quiet sleep

Now, he couldn't get anywhere near asleep.

"Stupid insomnia." He mumbled to himself.

BLUEBRY: "Time to sit down with a bottle of Nyquil and a glass of wine."

'I'll end up sleeping in class at this rate.'

CHWOKA: He said to nobody in particular.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

CHWOKA: It was only then he realized he had been holding salt shakers the whole time!

He pushed back his blanket and walked into the kitchen. As he passed the open basement door, he could hear Sean snoring.

CHWOKA: Danny lingered for a while, keeping th e door cracked, watching Sean sleep with a dim grin on his face.
CHWOKA: "Goodnight, sweet angel," he said under his breath, and closed the door.

He closed the door quietly and walked over to the cabinet. Inside were a few bowls, plates, and cups. It was the only cabinet, but then again only he and Sean lived here, so why have a lot of dishes?

NACHOMAN: this was important to describe

Danny grabbed a cup and filled it with water.

BLUEBRY: so action

This was going to be a long night.

The demons retrieved their swords and screeched almost high enough to shatter glass.

CHWOKA: "Hey, we have the absolute advantage over our sleeping opponent -- let's try to wake her up!"

Kali had turned over to her other side just in time to avoid becoming a human shish-ka-bob;

CHWOKA: "CURSES! Thwarted by the razor-sharp reflexes of a sleeping person!

at the same time Meg shot up out of bed and screamed. One of the demons screeched in anger as they all quickly melted into the shadows once more and disappeared into the forest, angry at missing their prey.

BLUEBRY: the hell, then just kill Kali like SUPER QUICK and get out of there like you just did. oh no, you missed ONCE, try again

Kali woke up at the sound of her sister's scream. She bolted up out in her bed and looked around. Meg jumped out of her bed and ran over to Kali. She fired questions at her while checking her for injuries.

"Oh my gosh!

CHWOKA: jcm

Are you alive?

BLUEBRY: "No, I'm dead. That's why I'm standing upright, blinking and breathing and all that."

You're okay, right? Those things didn't hurt you did they? Are you sure-"

"What things?" Kali questioned, oblivious to had happened. "And what happened to my bed?"

BLUEBRY: honey, that bed was ruined the moment you bought it

Meg stared at the bed. 'I thought it was just a dream, because she's alive, but the holes are in the bed and not her. What's going on?' she thought. She snapped back to reality.

"'Didn't you hear them?!" Meg shouted incredulously, waving her arms up and down. She reminded Kali of a cartoon character

NACHOMAN: from one of those Japanese comics

if only because she didn't realize she had been danger.

BLUEBRY: I AM DANGER

"I heard a wailing sound, but figured it was one of your nightmares. Was it?" Kali swore she saw Meg's eye twitch

CHWOKA: i don't understand what an eye twitch is supposed to mean is this like anime nosebleeds or something

before she answered.

"I had a dream that five things came in and stabbed you to death with these big black swords.

NACHOMAN: "I had a dream where I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone! Ha ha!"

The swords were weird though. They were made of

CHWOKA: silly string!

an incredibly dark metal,

BLUEBRY: YEAHHHH \m/ \m/

it was hard to tell cause it was night and all…" Meg trailed off and trapped her sister in a hug.

Kali didn't listen to the rest of Meg's details. She had caught the words 'cloaked figures' and froze.

BLUEBRY: "'What were the Dementors doing outside of Azkaban?' she thought."

'Did he come back? And with other demons?' Kali gulped and thought of what would've happened if she hadn't turned in her sleep. She shuddered at the grotesque mental image she got.

BLUEBRY: "It was old people making out."

"Hey, are you okay, Kali?" Meg asked. "You've been staring at the wall like it's gonna try and eat you or something."

"It's just," Kali started. 'Hey, I've told her everything so far, why not?' she told herself.

"Remember when I told you some freak tried to jump me on my way home?" Meg nodded. "Well, he was wearing a cloak just like you described, though I didn't see a sword."

"You mean, you think my dream was real?"

"Look at my bed! How else can we explain the five holes that cut straight through my bed, barely missing my body?"

NACHOMAN: Why do these ancient demons always have such terrible aims
CHWOKA: Maybe they should buy some scythes, the scopes installed on them could help.

Kali practically screamed at her,

CHWOKA: Why aren't their parents worried at this point? That's like 4 screams in the past 10 minutes.

and inwardly winced at the pained expression on Meg's face.

"I'll, I'll go and get you some water."

"Meg.I'm sorry.

CHWOKA: MEG.IMSORRY.COM

I didn't mean to yell. I'm still trying to deal with all this stuff. I still don't understand half of it."

Meg smiled softly and replied, "Kay. I'll go get your water."

"Wait for me! This room is freaking me out." Kali mumbled the last part and followed Meg down the stairs. A paranoia feeling

CHWOKA: I feel paranoia right now.

creeped through her mind

BLUEBRY: "dude dude they know, they definitely know. i should not have smoked that j behind the 7/11"

as she jumped the last two steps with Meg who ran over to the cupboard.

'I'm not falling back asleep tonight.' she thought.

"MEG! Have you seen my bag?" Kali yelled from the bathroom as she finished putting her hair in a ponytail. She did a quick double check in the mirror and ran downstairs.

NACHOMAN: I know they tell new writers "show, don't tell", but I don't think that applies to scene transitions

"Mit's mohn mah mouch," Meg said after biting off a piece of toast and hastily gathering her schoolwork.

"What was that?" Kali asked, popping her head into the kitchen.

Meg swallowed. "It's on the couch."

"Thanks!"

CHWOKA: "You know I love drugs on the couch"

"Right, now let's get going!" panted Meg as she tossed a piece of toast to Kali

CHWOKA: , which landed butter-side down on her hand,

and ran out the door.

BLUEBRY: ...wait what?

'Man! Now we're both late!' Kali thought as she heard the bell ring.

BLUEBRY: no. it was JUST the middle of the night

They turned the corner by her school. 'Her teachers will probably nice enough to not get mad at her. Middle school was so easy'

They'd made it just in time for the advisory period. Her homeroom teacher Mr. Jendeska

CHWOKA: "Let's see, I need a name..." {looks around the room} "Aha! This desk will do nicely!"

was writing the pointers for his class on the board.

Kali spotted Andy and Danny and walked over towards them. She was still trying to catch her breath. Kali noticed that Danny looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Andy looked unfazed by his friend's staring contest with the wall

BLUEBRY: as someone who goes to a competitive school and a veteran of all-nighters, this is what sleep deprivation does. i applaud you.

and waved 'hello' before continuing to copy the notes Mr. Jendeska was writing.

"What are you, a study bug?" Kali asked, pointing to his paper.

"What's a 'study bug'?" he asked.

"You're already taking notes." Kali gestured to the black board.

"Naw, I take notes now so I can sleep through English class.

CHWOKA: So basically you just attend English class during your free period so that you can have a free period during English class. That is the worst and best work ethic I've ever seen.

This is Dany's copy.

BLUEBRY: wha-no
BLUEBRY: go to the library, find the copy machine, and make another

He needs more rest than me. He was so tired from being up all night he thought he'd heard demons screaming last night!"

Andy rolled his eyes, but Kali's went wide.

"He heard it too? Meg and I woke up real early this morning because we'd heard it too!" Kali explained. She didn't talk loud so much as fast. Andy had to do a double take as she continued, "'dgottenstabbedcuzshehadthis ctuallyfiveholesinmybedwhereI' tcuzofitalland-and."

CHWOKA: ABLE TO DEFEND TO BOM-BAST MCS, LIKE A BASEBALL BAT, I'LL BRING YA DOWN TO YA KNEES

Kali gasped for breath after saying all that in one breath. Andy stared at her, wondering if she had actually expected him to understand that.

'Of all the times you need Sean around to translate.'

CHWOKA: I just realized the all the principal male characters are idiots.

He thought wryly and shook his head sighing.

"What?" he asked.

"Meg. Saw. Demons. Trying. To. Kill. Me."

Kali said slowly, mainly due to her lack of air.

Andy stared at her. "Why would five demons go after you and not anyone else in the group?"

BLUEBRY: BURRRRRRRRRRRRN

Kali mulled the question over for a moment, wondering if it was an insult.

She was about to retort when Danny cut in, more mumbling than talking, but still answering the question. "Because she wouldn't know how.......

CHWOKA: FUCK I'M FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS...................

to sense them coming and......and alert us and she has less experience in battle. An easy first target… no offense." He managed to finish between yawns. He'd seemed to wake up a bit for a moment, but that hope was quickly shattered as his head smacked back down on the desk

CHWOKA: and also shattered.

and he fell asleep.

BLUEBRY: just putting this out there but an extra-large coffee at 7/11 costs less than 2 bucks with tax.
CHWOKA: bluebry you don't understand, insomnia is hilarious. trust me i've lived through it!!!

Andy took no heed of him and continued, "How did your sister know what demons look like? Wasn't she asleep?"

"She had a dream where it happened, but there were holes in my bed. Five of them, just like she had seen, except they weren't going through me."

CHWOKA: {singing} I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Danny moved his head back up and pondered it a moment, or, at least that's what Kali thought he was doing. Danny was so tired it took a while for her response to sink in. "That'.

CHWOKA:

Being able to sense demons even when you're know what they're there for." His head fell back down on the desk. Kali wondered how he was listening if he was asleep half the time, even if he wasn't making any sense.

"Yeah, I guess it is, but she always has nightmares. She also has empathy. I wouldn't be surprised if she could sense demons."

CHWOKA: Empathy is basically a superpower.

Kali sighed and started her copy of the notes,

BLUEBRY: it costs like 10 cents to go make a photocopy

planning on getting some rest herself.