Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Records of Bell/Open

The intro is to the tune of Only Solitaire by Jethro Tull. (Album=War Child)

Lyrics	Visuals
[No lyrics played yet]	Fade from black to Im a bell sitting on a sand dune thinking.
Brain-storming	Cut to Bell kicking Tracy in the jaw. Bell's leg raises way above Tracy's head when he kicks him.
habit-forming	Bell quickly lowers his leg, kicking Tracy's head into the ground.
battle-warning weary winsome	Cut to Bell kicking Bling like Strong Bad kicks The Cheat.
actor spewing spineless chilling	Cut to Bell on a stage dressed up as Hamlet, holding Homeschool Winner's skull and mouthing "Alas Poor Yorick! I knew him."
lines.	The skull shatters. An ellipsis forms above Bell's head.
The critics falling over to tell themselves he's	Cut to a sidewalk. H44WP is standing there. Bell is behind him wearing a Grim Reaper suit.
boring	Bell swings his scythe at H44WP. H44WP bends over right before the scythe should strike him.
and really not an awful lot of	Bell shakes his fist at the sky. H44WP picks up a penny and walks off.
fun.	The scythe snaps in half. Another ellipsis forms above Bell's head.
Well who the hell can he	Cut to a still image of Bell standing above the words "Im a bell" on a blood red background.
be when he's	Cut to a still image of Tracy standing above the word "Tracy" on a brown background.
never had V.D.,	Cut to a still image of Bling standing above the word "Bling" on a golden background.
and he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?	Cut to Bell rolling up a piece of paper and throwing it into a very small black hole.
Court-jesting,	Cut to a still image of Bell dressed as a judge wearing Groucho Glasses.
never-resting	Cut to a still image of a wide-eyed Bell holding a coffee mug.
he must be very cunning	Cut to Bell holding wire clippers and kneeling in front of a time bomb.
to assume an air of dignity	Bell cuts the blue wire and the bomb explodes.
and bless us all with his oratory prowess,	The smke clears. Bell's face is charred, and he mouths "Success!"
his lame-brained antics and	Bell turns to dust.
his jumping in the air.	Cut to in front of Bell's house. Bell, Bling, and Tracy are there. They jump into the air, and the frame freezes.
And every night his act's the same	The three fall to the ground.
and so it must be all a game of chess he's playing.	The three get up. Bling and Tracy walk offscreen.
"But you're wrong, Steve: you see, it's only solitaire."	Cut to a black background. Bell's head is being illuminated by a red light. He says this line. At "it's", he is grinning evilly. Cut to a tree within a renaissance village. There is a noose hanging from it. It is nighttime and is raining. The words "Records Of Bell" appear in front of the scene. Fade to black after ten seconds.