Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Records of Bell/7

Summary

Bell and company go on a month-long cruise.

BLUEBRY: gimmicks

Cast: Im a bell, Bling, Tracy, Kuro, Sarah, Kinzo, Don Skull, Niblet, Worthless Cruise Steward, Hollow Bling

Places: Onboard Restaurant, Deck

Episode Information: 201-Always Retroactively Retcon All Retcons

BLUEBRY: ...what?

Insult: mangled sprite sheets

Credit Joke: Retroactively Coach Z

SKULLB: BAD JORB

Transcript

{fade from black to Bell and Bling eating breakfast in the onboard restaurant}

IM A BELL: Say, Bling?

BLING: Yeah, what?

BLUEBRY: Is this the sassy one? I think this is the sassy one.

IM A BELL: I've been wondering... Whatever happened to Niblet?

BLING: Shh! I'll retcon him in later.

SKULLB: Wha-

{cue theme song. cut to the deck. Bell and company are there with Niblet}

TRACY: Since when was Niblet-

SKULLB: Who is Niblet.

BLING: He's always been here.

KURO: What? No he ha-

BLUEBRY: Yeah, he just climbed aboard a few days after we set sail.

BLING:{preforming a Jedi Mind Trick on everyone} Niblet's always been here.

SARAH: Do you really expect that to w-

SKULLB: Do you really expect that to be funny

EVERYONE BUT SARAH, BLING, BELL, & NIBLET:{monotone & in unison} Niblet's always been here.

BLUEBRY: Whoa! {preforming a Jedi Mind Trick on the authors} Stop writing and take an English class.
SKULLB: {in a hypnotizing voice} Cut your hair. Get some new clothes. Leave the basement.

SARAH: ... {sighs} Why do I even bother?

KINZO: 'Cause Bell's your boyfriend.

SARAH: That was rhetorical.

SKULLB: Well gee we wouldn't know

KINZO: You're point?

BLUEBRY: Yes I am point!

DON SKULL: This is going to be a LOOOONG six episodes...

BLUEBRY: TELL me about it girlfriend

BLING:{doing another Jedi Mind Trick} You do not know about the TV Show.

DON SKULL: ... {stands on hind legs, blasts a Skull Cannon into Bling's stomach(Bling is in teenage form in this season, throwing him off the side of the cruise ship}

SKULLB: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT A MINUTE {shakes head in disbelief} I can make that happen?!

BLING:{reappears behind Don Skull} Oh, that wasn't nice. {kicks Don Skull in the back}

BLUEBRY: Go sit in the laundry room until you can learn to behave yourself.

DON SKULL: AARGH. {turns around, transforms into the mecha mode, blasts Bling with the blaster}

SKULLB: I can do that too?!

BLING:{dodges} NICE TRY!

{the blast hits a worthless cruise steward, destroying him}

DON SKULL: Crap.

BLING: Don't worry. It happens all the time to them.

SKULLB: "Humans die all the time I should know I kill them!!"

DON SKULL: Ah. Good. {presses a button on the blaster, it becomes a Trigger Gauge}

SKULLB: This broken link shall surely explain something NOBODY IS AWARE OF EVER

BLING: Ooh. Nice.

DON SKULL: Stabbity-stabbity! {stabs Bling in the stomach}

BLUEBRY: dude i am SO saying this next time i shank someone on the subway

BLING: Ow.

SKULLB: "Come on, man, not funny. That totally hurt my lung, dude."

DON SKULL:{fires the gun of the trigger gauge, causing a large blast to come out of Bling's back}

BLING:{eyes widen} AACK-{coughs up blood}

DON SKULL:{flings Bling off of the side of the ship again, fires the trigger gauge at him again}

{cut to Bling. Everything is white. The screen looks like it does in the episode of Dragon Ball Z where Piccolo fuses with Kami. The part where Kami disentegrates,

BLUEBRY: disintegrates

I mean. It looks like that, but instead of Kami it's Teenage Bling.

SKULLB: How the hell would we know that scene by heart

Cut back to on the deck. Sarah is hiding behind Bell}

TRACY: ...Nice.

DON SKULL: Thank you.

{a crack in the air appears behind Don Skull. It rips open into a portal leading to Hell. An Arrancar-like Bling (he looks like Bling's head on a humanoid body in a Soul Reaper uniform[Soul Reaper/Mature Bling], but the right side of his face looks like half of a Gin Ichimaru-like Hollow mask, and the right side of his uniform looks like the Hollow Ichigo's) steps out of it wielding a zanpaku-to that looks like a double-bladed Tensa Zangetsu}

BLUEBRY: I have NO idea what just happened.
SKULLB: Make that EVERYBODY

HOLLOW BLING:{in a echoey Gin Ichimaru voice}

BLUEBRY: WHO WHO MOTHERFLIPPING WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

Hmhmhm. You can't get rid of me THAT easily, Don! Now, this form is MUCH too powerful to fight in on the cruise ship, so we will just have to go to the SkyBattelfield.

DON SKULL: The WHAT?

HOLLOW BLING: The SkyBattelfield. It's a floating wasteland that used to have the Tenkaichi Budokais,

SKULLB: The Toblerone Badonkadonk? What?

and then Chaos' Battel

BLUEBRY: battle

Tournament. But, that tournament's fighters were so powerful, they destroyed the stadium. It would be the PERFECT spot for a battle.

DON SKULL: Hmm... Sounds nice. Tell you what. We'll battle tomorrow.

HOLLOW BLING: Agreed.

KURO: Well, thanks for letting us get all worked up over NOTHING.

SKULLB: Records of Bell: Gratification Never Happens

HOLLOW BLING:{sarcastically} You're welcome.

KURO: {bleep} off, Bling.

BLUEBRY: {snaps} OOH GURL YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT

HOLLOW BLING: ... {stabs Kuro in the chest} Rule One Of Hollows; Don't mess with an omnipotent Arrancar.

BLUEBRY: That sounds like a verb in Spanish.
SKULLB: TE QUIERO LOS ARRANCAR FLOTILLADOR!!!! HUEVOS HUEVOS Y CARNE!

KURO:{sarcastically} What's the SECOND rule?

HOLLOW BLING: ... {stabs Kuro even farther in the stomach}

KURO: Haha-Ow.

SKULLB: "Tee-hee! That tickles!"

HOLLOW BLING: Urgh. {takes blade out of Kuro}

KURO: Y-you're sparing me?

HOLLOW BLING: No. You're getting blood on my sword.

BLUEBRY: that is the purpose of a sword yes
SKULLB: I swear to God he took that line from Cowboy Bebop or something.

...PITCH-BLACK blood. ...Or is that ink?

BLUEBRY: My blood is ink because my soul is in my poetry

KURO: What?

IM A BELL: Well? Is that blood or ink, squiddy?

{everyone, even Kuro, laughs whole-heartedly. After ten seconds, Kuro keels over. A record scratch sounds. Cue credits}

SKULLB: Who you callin' "squiddy" you little bitch