Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Records of Bell/12

Summary

The freakish five leave the cruise and move to Japan.

BLUEBRY: NATURALLY

Oh yeah, and did I mention Bell proposes?

SKULLB: Hey, all! It's the painful "marriage episode"! Strap in for melodrama and excitement!

Cast: Im a bell, Tracy, Mature Bling, Sarah, Don Skull,

Places: Wiki City Dock, Bell's House. Bling's House, Tokyo, Bell's House In Japan, Bling's House In Japan

SKULLB: WELL WHO SAW THIS COMING

Episode Information: 206-Never End A Relationship With A Clingy Girlfriend In A Knife Shop

Insult: thinly-veiled H2G2 references

Credit Joke: Douglas Adams

Transcript

{open to Bell doing the Caramelldansen

CHWOKA: Chris Hansen?

next to Tracy}

CHWOKA: Don't Dance So Close To Me.

TRACY: This is MADNESS!

IM A BELL: Madness? This. IS. CARAMELL! {uses hip to knock Tracy into a pit, continues dancing}

BLUEBRY: {painful sobs}
{SkullB rips the cushion off of a nearby seat and screams into it.}
CHWOKA: ...work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all...

{cue theme song. cut to the Wiki City dock. Bell and co are leaving the cruise ship. cut to Bell's house. They all walk onscreen carrying luggage}

IM A BELL: Boy, that was fun, wasn't it?

BLUEBRY: no

MATURE BLING: Yeah.

CHWOKA: Riveting excitement!

TRACY: Uh huh.

BLUEBRY: never

SARAH: Yep.

CHWOKA: Action sequences!

DON SKULL: Meh.

BLUEBRY: i hated it

IM A BELL: ...Right. Well, don't bother unpacking. Pack more.

TRACY: What? Why?

SARAH: We're all moving to Japan.

SKULLB: Oh no

MATURE BLING: Really? Why Japan?

CHWOKA: Take a wild guess.

IM A BELL: I've always wanted to live in Tokyo.

SKULLB: WELL WHOOP-DE-FRIGGIN-SH**

MATURE BLING: I thought you wanted to live in Russia.

CHWOKA: {singing} Mos-COW! Mos-COW!

IM A BELL: Tokyo's more relevant to Sarah's

CHWOKA: Wait, isn't it spelled Sara?

interests.

DON SKULL: Define "interests".

BLUEBRY: Animes.
SKULLB: We all know you're the one who wants to go, Bell, you selfish prick.

IM A BELL: If we did we'd get cancelled.

BLUEBRY: canceled

MATURE BLING: So that's the second...

IM A BELL: What?

MATURE BLING: There are two things mentioned so far in the show that would get us cancelled

BLUEBRY: again, canceled

that involves Sarah.

IM A BELL: What's the first?

MATURE BLING: In episode 103 Sarah mentioned a red skull tattoo that cannot be shown on daytime television.

BLUEBRY: I LOVE DAYTIME TELEVISION DO YOU WATCH DAYS OF OUR LIVES
SKULLB: OH I LOVE THAT JOKE IT INVOLVES LADIES AND I LIKE LADIES A-HAHAHAHAHA {claps furiously and breaks into angry sobs}

SARAH: Huh? {gestures toward right arm} It's right h-Ohh, that tattoo.

MATURE BLING: Right. Now, I propose we stop this before Fox Executive Super Sam kills us.

CHWOKA: Every time people try to integrate the WUW into their work, it automatically turns crap. Even in minor ways.

EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed.

IM A BELL: Wait. "Propose"? That reminds me. {reaches into pocket}

BLUEBRY: oh might as well do it now and not somewhere romantic or intimate
SKULLB: Hell, the manga store is as good as anywhere !!!
CHWOKA: whoops almost forgot to get married lol

TRACY: FINALLY!

DON SKULL: What-

IM A BELL:{takes out a small box, gets down on one knee. is increasingly blushing}

CHWOKA: Exponential blushing.

Sarah McAllister, will you... marry me?

SKULLB: Pussy

{opens box to reveal a gold ring with a chaos emerald on it. The left side of the emerald is yellow, the right side purple, the bottom tip green, the inner left orange, and the inner right blue}

SARAH: Wh-what in GOD'S NAME is that gem on the ring?

IM A BELL: ...Is that a no?

CHWOKA: "Yes."

SARAH: Of course not!

IM A BELL: Hooray!

CHWOKA: He doesn't even get out of his seat.

SARAH: We'll get married tomorrow in Tokyo.

BLUEBRY: but what about the rehearsal dinnerrrrrrrrrrrr
SKULLB: Don't mention dinner, he might pull out a YouTube Poop reference.

IM A BELL: Good.

SARAH:{to everyone but Bell} Get out. NOW.

{everybody but Sarah and Bell run out of the house. Cut to Bling's house next door}

MATURE BLING: We shouldn't go back there for a few hours.

TRACY: Eep.

SKULLB: THE JOKE IS THAT THEY ARE HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS

{cut back to Bell's house to a few hours later. Everyone is carrying even more suitcases}

CHWOKA: Each one filled with corpses.
SKULLB: And animes, don't forget the animes.
CHWOKA: No. Just corpses.

IM A BELL: Alright. Let's go.

SKULLB: Jesus, that was a long time.

{everyone exits the house. cut to an airport in Tokyo. A plane lands. Bell and co exit the plane}

CHWOKA: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG JEEZ

IM A BELL: Well, here we are. Tokyo. Our new home.

SARAH: Why do I have the feeling I left the coffee pot on?

IM A BELL: I doubt it, considering you have it with you. ...And that I destroyed our houses.

BLUEBRY: yeah why try to sell a house in this market
SKULLB: Economy whoop !!!
{Canned laughter.}
CHWOKA: I don't even think Bell owned those houses, considering he's never done a day of work in his life.

SARAH: Oh. Good.

TRACY: So, where do we live?

IM A BELL: I've found two houses side by side in the Ginza district.

CHWOKA: "Ginza" means "Red Light" in Japanese.

MATURE BLING: ...The district with the most expensive real estate on Terra?

BLUEBRY: Why do I feel you're a talking brochure
SKULLB: Why do I feel you're reading from a manga
CHWOKA: What's Terra?

IM A BELL: Yep.

MATURE BLING: How'd you afford them?

BLUEBRY: IT'S THIS COOL HIP NEW THING CALLED A "TIMESHARE"

IM A BELL: I have powers to create money. How else?

SKULLB: Counterfeiting = Creating money

MATURE BLING: ...How in God's name haven't you been put in prison yet?

IM A BELL: Simple. Everybody knows you can't confine me within anything.

SKULLB: "Until after 11 because that's my curfew "

MATURE BLING: Good point. Now, why do we need to houses?

SKULLB: WE NEED TO HOUSE RIGHT NOW

IM A BELL: One's for me and Sarah, and the other's for you three.

MATURE BLING: And why did you decide to-Wait, don't answer that.

CHWOKA: SEX

{cut to two houses in the Ginza district. From now on they are to be referred to as Bell's House and Bling's House}

BLUEBRY: {takes notes}
SKULLB: Will this be on the test

IM A BELL: Okay. This is me and Sarah's house, and this is your's.

CHWOKA: He says, without even doing so much as to lift a finger for indication.

MATURE BLING: Got it.

IM A BELL: Well, we'll see ya tomorrow.

{everybody enters their respective homes. fade to black. cue credits}

SKULLB: What the f*** kind of ending was that