Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Records of Bell/0

Information

Pilot: Family Reunion
Plot: A Bellstrom Family Reunion.
Cast: Im a bell, Bling, Tracy, Mozz, Many Firefox Babies, Johnny K. Bellstrom, Craeft Aetlaenes Bellstrom,

SKULLB: Kraft Atlantis

Unicron Bellstrom, Yog Sothoth Bellstrom
Places: Bell's House, Bling's Room, Tracy's Room, The Firefox Reserve

BLUEBRY: ...oh god

Subspace, Bell's Parents' House,

SKULLB: There is no difference between Bell's house and his parents' house.

Subspace Plains

Transcript

{fade in to a black background with the words "Records Of Bell[enter]Pilot[enter]Family Reunion".

SKULLB: What[space]the[space]hell[space]is[space]this[question mark]

After 10 seconds, fade to black, and then cut to the inside of Bell's house. Bell walks in holding seven letters. He throws a letter every five seconds, except the last one}

IM A BELL: A letter from my parents? {opens letter} "Dear Imothy,

BLUEBRY: The 'T' is silent.

we are holding a family reunion. Please tell Johnny, since he has no address. Please take your family along with you. Love, Mom" Hmm. Okay...

SKULLB: Hooray! You can read!

{cut to an orange door. Bell opens it and walks into the room. It is Bling's. Bell gently nudges Bling's sleeping body}

IM A BELL: Bling? Wake up.

SKULLB: "Wake up, darling!"

We're going to my parents'.

BLING:{wakes up} Huh? I've always wanted to meet your parents!

BLUEBRY: ...Are they dating?

IM A BELL: You get your stuff ready.

{cut to a wooden door. Bell kicks it open. Bell runs into the room. It is Tracy's}

IM A BELL: HEY! WAKE UP! ... {grabs one of Tracy's shoes, starts hitting him with it}

CHWOKA: The sound of a loud ringing bell can wake you up easily. But when it's this bell...

TRACY: AHH! I'M UP, I'M UP! WHAT DO YOU WANT?

IM A BELL: We're going to my parents' house for a family reunion.

TRACY: Okay, I'll get dressed.

SKULLB: The shoes? They don't count.

{cut to a few minutes later. Bell is waiting at the front door. Bling and Tracy run in}

CHWOKA: Don't you mean run out? Or run onscreen? Or run through the door?

TRACY: Okay, we're done.

IM A BELL: Good. Let's go get Johnny.

CHWOKA: This scene is so precious, we can't possibly cut it out!

{cut to the entrance to the Firefox Reserve. Bell, Tracy, and Bling walk up. A tails-like Firefox(Mozz) notices them and runs up}

SKULLB: Nothing brightens up a text fiction more than furries and internet!

MOZZ: Ah, Bell! Here to see Johnny?

BLUEBRY: I'd prefer to see Netty the Nutty Netspace 3.0 executable.

IM A BELL: Yeah.

MOZZ: Let me take you to him.

{cut to a pile of hay. Johnny Bellstrom is sleeping there surrounded by many baby Firefoxes.

CHWOKA: HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!
SKULLB: Sleeping on a pile of hay--classy!

The four walk up}

MOZZ: Johnny? Wake up. Your brother's here to see you.

JOHNNY: Huh? Wha? Oh. Hey, bro. What's up?

IM A BELL: Family reunion. Get ready.

CHWOKA: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

JOHNNY: Oh. Good.

{cut to an RV. Bell gets in the front seat, Johnny rides shotgun, and the other two get in the back}

BLUEBRY: Wait, so, they just have impromptu family reunions?

IM A BELL:{starts RV} Let's go. {starts driving}

SKULLB: Yay! Now we can hear every single thing these people say ever! Thanks, Bell!
CHWOKA: Spare us no moment of tedium!

TRACY: Wait, if we're traveling

BLUEBRY: travelling

to Subspace, why are we driving? Subspace is in an alternate universe!

SKULLB: Aaaaaaand it's ruined.

IM A BELL: We need to get up to enough speed to warp to Subspace.

SKULLB: EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR

{cut to outside of the van. It disappears a la Doctor Who.

SKULLB: uuuuuuuugh

Cut to a neighborhood inside subspace. The van appears in the driveway of a house. Everyone gets out. Zoom in to the door}

IM A BELL:{rings doorbell}

CRAEFT BELLSTROM:{opens door} Oh, good. You're here.

SKULLB: crayft

{everyone walks into the house}

IM A BELL: Hi mom, dad. {gestures toward Bling} This is Bling and- {gestures toward Tracy} -THIS is my son, Tracy. Tracy, these two are my parents and your grandparents.

TRACY: It's nice to meet you both.

BLUEBRY: This is the most plain vanilla family I've seen.

UNICRON: The same to you, Tracy.

SKULLB: qwfsdgksdfln UNICRON
CHWOKA: Wait, so Bell's father or mother (I can't tell) is a unicorn? Unicorn, which is all that is good and light, birthed THIS horrific monstrosity?

SKULLB: no no you don't get it its a transformer

{Chwoka pauses. He then begins to weep.}

CRAEFT: Imothy, Johnny, your older brother should be here any minute now.

IM A BELL: You mean Yog Sothoth Bellstrom, our brother who left before we were born?

CHWOKA: People talk like that all the time. I remember last time I went to grandma's, she told me my half-brother was coming, so I was all like "You mean <NAME>, my senior-by-13-years half brother, born to my mother and <OTHER NAME>, who left the house to go to college and eventually got married?"
SKULLB: "I mean, you don't know already, being his parents and all."

CRAEFT: Yes, him. ...Say, where's your wife, Imothy?

IM A BELL: ... {eye twitches}

UNICRON: Umm... What-

TRACY: Don't mention my mother around my dad.

SKULLB: HE'S ADOPTED SHHH

CRAEFT: Oh. I understand.

BLUEBRY: Craeft macaroni and cheese.

{the doorbell rings. Craeft answers the door. A pitch-black figure with no neck and a striped grey suit walks in}

SKULLB: hahahaha no neck seriously

CRAEFT: Imothy, Johnny, this is your brother, Yog.

JOHNNY:{hugs Yog} I can't believe I've finally met you!

YOG: Heheheh. {stops hugging Johnny}

SKULLB: Something about that laugh is creepy, but I just can't put my wheel on it...

IM A BELL:{shakes Yog's hand} It's nice to meet you, brother.

YOG: The same to you, Imothy. Now, if you excuse me, I need to use the restroom. {literally walks through Im a bell, walks offscreen}

IM A BELL:{eyes widen, jaw drops} ...

SKULLB: YES A MOMENT OF SILENCE WAS WORTH A LINE OF DIALOGUE!

TRACY: Wh-what's wrong, dad?

IM A BELL: I just saw the most terrifying things in existence.

SKULLB: "I saw these things... these awful things. Records... of me!"

TRACY: Wow. If you were scared, it must be pretty horrible.

IM A BELL: It is.

{Yog walks back in}

IM A BELL: Yog, ever since I first heard of you, I knew I had to battle you.

BLUEBRY: ...OH GOD

YOG: Agreed, brother.

BLUEBRY: ...OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD

{cut to the subspace plains, a subspace flatland directly next to the stairs to subspace(the stairs lead to a secondary subspace, which is less inhabited). Bell and Yog are standing next to eachother, both in fighting stances}

IM A BELL: I will let you take the first shot.

YOG: You will regret saying that. {thrusts arm forward. his hand transforms into a pitch-black bird claw, palm facing up. A pitch-black ball of energy with a purple aura and dark blue lightning appears above it. Yog hurls it at Bell. It hits Bell's face, and doesn't faze him. Yog becomes angry, and fires multiple balls of energy at Bell. They all hit Bell, but still do not even make him flinch} What-THAT WAS PURE COSMIC HORROR! How could you have formed such an immunity for that after I only walked though you once?

BLUEBRY: {retches}

IM A BELL: I adapt to horror very quickly, my brother. You may be pure cosmic horror, but I am an omnipotent psychopath with a mind so dark it scares Satan himself. Now, I know TRUE fear. Fear that it worse than any cosmic horror. Say, have you ever experienced the terror of warping via reality-bending powers while conscious?

{SkullB throws up.}

YOG: No, I don't believe I have.

IM A BELL: Then I will show you. {grabs Yog, warps away}

{cut to Yog's view. the background is dark purple. Bell and his soul are there. a lighter-colored Yog fades into view. After two seconds, they explode into particles. The background changes to the entire universe. The particles fly at light-speed to where Bell and Yog were battling. Zoom in with the particles. they reform into Bell, his soul, and the lighter Yog. Bell and his soul fuse, and the lighter Yog disappears. cut back to normal view. Bell and Yog voip in. Bell lets go of Yog}

SKULLB: OH STOP IT

IM A BELL: Well?

YOG:{stunned} Gh-Gh-Guh... Th-that was the most d-disturbing thing I have ever s-seen.

BLUEBRY: There's this one thing with goats...

I-I think my brain just ruptured.

IM A BELL: Yes, that is normal for those who have not warped while conscious before.

YOG:{still stunned} I forfeit. I see I cannot defeat you. But, can you please tell me one thing?

IM A BELL: Sure, what?

YOG:{still stunned} Wh-why are you so terrifying?

IM A BELL: It's simple. I was trying out my reality-bending powers when I was a small child. I tried shifting my soul throughout subspace. Of course, it corrupted, just like your entire being, but my mind had been corrupted even worse. My heart and it had gotten separated from the rest of my soul. They had traveled

BLUEBRY: travelled

up the stairs to subspace and to the second section of subspace. There it is even more corruptive. My heart had been entirely destroyed, and my mind corrupted so much that it had become an ever-increasing corruptive mind. It started out unnoticed, and then reached it's peak around when I first competed in a Battel.

BLUEBRY: battle

The ShadowMark incident of the Battles had in fact shattered my mind, for the dark power of the ShadowMarks added to my already psychotic nature had overloaded my mind. I was currently dead inside. But when Chaos converted Cow Puncher and I from the ShadowMarks, he had noticed this, so he gathered up my shattered mind, and had placed it into an unoccupied, unescapable

BLUEBRY: inescapable

universe, which he then created a gate to from my soul. My infinite evil within my mind filled the universe, and had brought me back from death.

SKULLB: shut up

YOG: I see. {collapses}

CRAEFT:{gasps} I-Is he-

IM A BELL: No, not dead. Just unconscious.

SKULLB: "Dehydrated, that's all. Say, did I tell you about my upbringing yet?"

{these credits roll on a black background;}

Records Of Bell

Pilot
"Family Reunion"

Creator
Imothy A. Bellstrom

Writers
Imothy A. Bellstrom
Tracy C. Bellstrom

Actors
Everyone plays themselves, you thick-headed clod!

SKULLB: There is not seriously more of this, is there?!