Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Green Grass and High Tides Forever/4

YOU MUST DEFEAT SHENG LONG TO STAND A CHANCE

GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER

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EMERL: I love making movies. {Hold up a video camera.}

GEMERL: What'cha got there, Em?

EMERL: My video camera!

GEMERL: What for?

CHAOS: Good question.

EMERL: Well, I want to make a movie!

IORI: {falls down from top of screen} Hey juys! I heard that one of you wants to make a movie.

EMERL: I'm one!

PATRICK: {enters} Hey, guys. What kind of adventure-type-thing will we have today?

DALEK: Hmm... SCI-FI HORROR!!!

GEMERL: Now hold it! It's Emerl's camera, so he can choose what we make with him.

DALEK: If you don't shut up, that camera will be no ones camera!!

{Gemerl pushes Dalek offscreen.}

GEMERL: If you don't want to cooperate, you can't be in the film!

DALEK: Hey! You can't push me! {Comes back, and speeds up, to knock Gemerl down.} Fine. I'll cooperate.

GEMERL: Good. So, what kind of a movie do you want it to be, Emerl?

EMERL: Open-Set comedy set in western seattle.

GEMERL: Yes, well, let's not try and get the creators sued. How about an action/comedy.

EMERL: Sort of like "Epic Movie"?

GEMERL: Again with the lawsuit avoidance.

DALEK: No. If it's like Epic Movie, it will be Epic Fail. Please. Please!

GEMERL: Shut up. Now, Emerl, what movie did you like the most?

EMERL: "Pete's Dragon".

GEMERL: What other movie?

EMERL: "Pinnochio".

GEMERL: What else?

EMERL: "Toy Story"?

GEMERL: Then we'll make a comedy.

{Dalek pokes Gemerl.}

DALEK: Do not tell me to shut up.

SEPHIROTH: Someones gettin' mad...

DALEK: Shut up you... you... PURE ENERGY ALIEN!

SEPHIROTH: So what? I'm pure energy! Who cares?

IORI: Let's make a comedy movie!

GEMERL: Now, how should it start? Suggestions? Anyone?

PATRICK: Parody?

GEMERL: Yeah, we could make the opening some announcer going "YOU MUST DEFEAT SHENG LONG TO STAND A CHANCE! GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!" I don't know what it parodies, though.

PATRICK: Yeah, me neither. LOL

EMERL: Sounds good. What's our plot?

PATRICK: The plot could be... some guys who try to make a movie, and when they show it to people, it's actually good, but then they lose it and make a terrible copy?

GEMERL: OK, seriously, Stop the "Pun on the plot" thing. IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!

IORI: That's not a pun!

GEMERL: Well, then the idea sucks.

PATRICK: You suck!

IORI: Calm down, dude.

GEMERL: Now, now. If baby wants to try and fight, I won't stop him. His man-crush Kano isn't around to protect him.

PATRICK: Ewww! You creep me out! I'm outta here. {walks away}

GEMERL: Dang. I thought that would make a good opening to a movie. Anywho, how should we start the first scene?

CD-I LUIGI: {enters} I think you guys should start with lotsa spaghetti!

{cut to Patrick at his computer}

PATRICK: What? There wasn't any YTP references yet!

{cut back}

GEMERL: So, I figure we should make the first scene look actiony, but really just make it nonsense.

IORI: Cool, cool, depressing, cool.

EMERL: Ok, so, maybe...

{The process continues, turning into a montage, which contains various parts of the filming, eventually, it says "28 weeks later OMGLOLZORZMOVIEJOKE", then it cuts to everyone in a theater, all wearing suits.}

GEMERL: OK, you guys. Opening night. After this, we may get rich and well-liked, or we'll be hated for making the worst burning piece of crap ever. Oh, wait. Microsoft beat us to that when they made the Xbox 360.

{A buzzer sounds, then it turns into a cartoon screen, with Gemerl in a little oval in the corner.}

GEMERL: Fun Facts with Gemerl!

{Turn back to normal.}

GEMERL: Ready to show this to the public?

CHAOS: Ready.

EMERL: {Attempting to pick his nose, but only just banging his hand in the middle of his face} Ready!

IORI: Ready!

PATRICK: Ready.

KANO: {appears onscreen with a sign that says "I'M IN THE MOVIE!"} I'm in the movie! {disappears}

GEMERL: We'll just say Kano said "Ready". Okay, here we go!

{Gemerl turns on the projector, and the movie plays, then it cuts to the theater, where hundreds of people are walking out, gossiping. Gemerl and Emerl both walk out, with lipstick marks on their faces, followed by everyone else, who looks like they were partying.}

GEMERL: Now I kind of wish I could feel things like that.

EMERL: Wow, I didn't think the movie would be that good. Wow. the afterparty was still better than the movie, though.

KANO: {appears} Hey, guys. I saw the movie, And I thought it was pretty good.

GEMERL: I guess the creator just looks at his work with a different perspective. Wait. Where's the movie?

EMERL: Well, I needed something to stand on to reach the popcorn machine in the lobby. While I was standing on it, I heard something snap, and then I opened it to see this. {holds up a destroyed Film reel.}

GEMERL: {His face in complete Shock (Like Such)} What!?!?!

{the pre-fatality music/sound from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 plays; pan right and see Kano with a tape recorder}

KANO: What? I thought it was perfect!

GEMERL: Well, we're having a seriously bad moment here. We need to replace this movie, and mass-produce it so we can launch it all over America!

IORI: And we have to do it quickley!

GEMERL: Emerl, we need the old file!

EMERL: About that. I deleted it so nobody could take it and say it was theirs!

GEMERL: Well, at least that was for something that would make sense. Well, we're done for. Let's go play Scrabble or something.

EMERL: Wait! Don't leave! I believe we can make a great copy of this movie, we only need to focuse, and maybe we can even pull it off in a few days!

GEMERL: Fine. I'm still playing Scrabble.

{Cut to the field, where Emerl has his camera, and Gemerl is in a fighting pose.}

GEMERL: Okay, now we need to re-shoot all 96 minutes of the film in 4 days. Ready?

IORI: Ready.

PATRICK: Ready.

CHAOS: {Walks in with roller skates on} Ready.

{Another filming montage occurs, then returns to the theaters, like the first time.}

GEMERL: OK. this is out first off-holly-YouTube-World movie premiere. Here we go!

{The movie turns on. Gemerl is in the field.}

GEMERL: Are we filming?

EMERL: Yeah.

GEMERL: Oh. {A board flies by, and he kicks it. 2 cindeblocks(already broken and poorly held together) fly byt, and he kicks those. Iori enters, and the two have a fistfight.}

GEMERL: Return the CDs!

IORI: Never!

GEMERL: But I NEED my Fergie tracks!

{Iori roundhouse kicks Gemerl in the head.}

GEMERL: That's it. KAMEHAMEHA! {runs up to Iori and kicks him in the shins, and he falls over.}

IORI: Ow! My shins!

GEMERL: Well, you should think twice before fighting me next time! Right?

IORI: I guess.

GEMERL: Wait. Where did you put the CDs?

{Cut to another part in the movie, where Gemerl is dressed like a woman, and Iori is dressed as a giant pickle.}

GEMERL: I still wanna know how you talked me into this.

IORI: I didn't, you talked me into this!

GEMERL: Well, than I bet you know what comes next!

{Some more time passes by. Cut to a scene with Chaos, Patrick, and Kano, who is still holding his sign from earlier.}

CHAOS: By god, Doctor Walrus! We still need to find the lost city of Atlantis!

IORI: But we can't find the lost city of Atlantis because it's lost!

CHAOS: Shut up! You're not supposed to be in this scene!

IORI: Yeah you're right, how did I get here?

KANO: I'M IN THE MOVIE!

GEMERL: {offscreen, sarcastically} NO!

PATRICK: I'm Dr. Cornbread! Don't believe anything that Bubs tells you!

CD-I MARIO: {comes in} All toasters toast toast!

PATRICK: LIES! Everyone knows that all toasters toast BREAD!

CHAOS: They also toast eggs, waffles, forks, kitties, pop-tarts, and 2 liters of Pepsi.

PATRICK: Weird.

{In the film room.}

GEMERL: I can swear we forgot a scene when we were re-filming this, and I think it had something to do with a blue-haired paladin and a robot from a BBC-syndicated show.

PATRICK: And a ham.

GEMERL: Oh, well. Let's just watch the rest of the film.

PATRICK: I swear we did a scene about a ham...

{back to the film. Emerl is standing there, and a ham is lying on the ground.}

EMERL: But when will I see you again, Magic Ham?

MAGIC HAM: I will always be with you, if you BELIEVE!

{the ham flies away.}

EMERL: Godspeed, sweet pork.

{The end credits play. Cut to the theater, where all of the patrons look disgusted.}

EMERL: Wow, that was great! I didn't think that would be so good!

IORI: {crying} We're ruined!

PATRICK: We're so dead.

GEMERL: Well, I guess all that matters is that the creator liked it.

EMERL: Now, where's the afterparty?

{everyone in the theater promptly runs away.}

EMERL: Come on! At least someone wear a lampshade!

{The episode ends.}