(even if you aren't vegan)
Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Bell Quest/10
DEMON BELL: Who...
H44WP: The...
SKULLB: Hell thought this was a good idea?
BOTH: TENDERBREAD?!!!!
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Skypeia, Jose unt Gorge!
SKULLB: Bell's mastery of what appears to be the Spanish language is amazing.
CHWOKA: Better than his English. It's almost like...
{pan out to show it is Alpha Cram on the Chimer}
BLUEBRY: Again, WHAT THE HELL IS ALPHA CRAM?
ALPHA CRAM: Me are posted. Me no agree. Me travel base kill.
CHWOKA: where did this guy come from?
SKULLB: "Unga bunga. Me compute."
I AM BELL: I'll translate. "I saw what you did. I was angry. I came here to stop you."
BLUEBRY: So, does everyone in this movie speak at least one obscure language fluently? Rosetta Stone, eh?
{Demon Bell and H44WP look at each other and then Alpha Cram. They burst out laughing.}
ALPHA CRAM: Get my belt. Go to my locker and GET MY BELT!!!!!
CHWOKA: Bell slowly hands you the business card...
SKULLB: can somebody tell me how this thing turned from a caveman computer to a faux-psycho?
{Alpha Cram fires an electrical blast at H44WP.}
DEMON BELL: ...Whoa.
ALPHA CRAM: LV2: Underworld gong!
{Alpha Cram fires a larger electrical blast at Demon Bell}
DEMON BELL: OW!
{Alpha Cram continues firing elecrtic blast's
SKULLB: Elecritic blast is? Sweet Jesus...
at the two villains. A huge electric blast hit's Demon Bell and turns him back into Pure Watashi.}
PURE WATASHI: ...Crap.
ALPHA CRAM: Sectionify!
{Alpha Cram fires a gigantic red bolt of energy into Pure Watashi. Bling flies out of him and he reverts back to Ll e bami}
LL E BAMI: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
{A portal opens up on the chimer. Ll and H44WP get sucked in. The portal closes. A floppy disc pops out.}
I AM BELL: ...Woah. Uhh... What now?
BELLSON: That was quick.
BLUEBRY: That's what she said.
How are we gonna finish this chapter?
SKULLB: THE END THE GODDAMN END SAY IT ALREADY
BADSTAR: How about we start closing plot holes?
BLUEBRY: Why did you wait til the LAST CHAPTER to do this?
BELLSON: Grood idea. Also, let's stop breaking the 4th wall.
BADSTAR: {Holds up a list of plot holes.} Let's see... plot hole#1:Im a bell. Where is he?
SKULLB: People care about Bell?
{a rip in space appears. Im a bell's spirit is there}
IM A BELL: Unfortunately, the ray didn't only zap me into a different universe, it killed me. And with Ll in the real world, I'm not immortal. I'll come back someday. But for now, bye... {dissapears}
CHWOKA: But he's the author character! He can't die!
SKULLB: God forbid we lose the most masculine man in the universe.
BADSTAR: Plot hole#2:1-up and Kyubii. Where are they? Last time we saw them, they were trying find me. What happened?
CHWOKA: There's a difference between plot holes and loose ends.
BLUEBRY: Here's the real plot hole: "1-up and Kyubii. Who are they?"
1-UP: You see, we were running around looking for you, when all of a sudden, an inverted me-
PU-1 (INVERT 1-UP): Yo.
BLUEBRY: Here's another plot hole: "What the hell is an invert?"
1-UP:{slightly annoyed} -an inverted me came and captured us.
CHWOKA: Bell is dyslexic, so when he heard the maxim "Show, don't tell", he thought it was "Tell, don't show".
SKULLB: Yo momma so dyslexic OOOH
plot hole#3: Homestar's Sammich. Why no give to Badstar?
CHWOKA: what that's not even a plot hole in the loosest definition
SKULLB: Unga bunga. Need food.
HOMESTAR: I was hungry. Plot hole#4:Anthru-Borg & Kraxario. The haven't appeared much.
BLUEBRY: Some more world-class writing.
Although apparently, they are always here. How?
SKULLB: What, now he admits it?
KRAXARIO: Well, Uhh... the writers didn't really think of much lines for us. Plot hole#5:"Everybody else, run away screaming!" where are they?
BADSTAR: Still running and screaming. How many more plot holes are there?
BLUEBRY: Too many.
I AM BELL: I got two more! Why is H44WP on the side of evil, and why does Ebeneezer somehow appear everywhere, even though w left him to drown in Chapter 6?
BLUEBRY: No, the real question is who? Who are these people?
BADSTAR: 1: It involved something bad happening to Bling. 2: He's a zombie. Alright, one more. How did Alpha Cram fire electric blasts, turn Ll back to normal, and open a portal?
BELLSON: Actually, the second one doesn't work. He means "Why is Ebeneezer in more than one place"? Oh, and, he's kinda a unintentional world-bending virus. I mean, when he escaped the Chimer, he transformed the entire world into Sweet Cuppin' Cakes!
SKULLB: I have a good feeling Bell ate one too many Sweet Cuppin' Cakes while writing this.
BADSTAR: I guess the Ebeneezer question is a plot hole that will remain unsolved. So, what now? We can't this chapter short.
CHWOKA: We can't verbs!
SKULLB: We can't this language English.
I AM BELL: Uhh... why don't we go find where Bling flew off to?
BADSTAR: Good idea.
{cut to Bling and the female invert Anti-Bling hugging}
SKULLB: NO DON'T YOU'LL DESTROY THE UNIVERSE
BLUEBRY: Is this incest or not?
EVERYBODY: Awwwwwwww......
A COMPLETELY RANDOM GUY: Randomize!!!!
BLUEBRY: LOL
{the base warps. Bling and female invert Bling (Blingette) become millions of vampire squids}
SKULLB: uuurgh oh god
{Cut to a white space. Badstar is there.}
BADSTAR: Here's a little explanaition,
BLUEBRY: Okaiy.
so you guys watching the movie won't get creeped out.
{Cut to Badstar at a whiteboard. on it is a drawing of anti-bling and blingette.}
BADSTAR: The difference: Blingette does not have any horns. And she isn't evil for no apparent reason. Now we continue with your regular movie.
SKULLB: Biology One-oh-God.
{The movie stops.Cut to the theater.}
VEGEROT: ...wow. That was great.
BLUEBRY: {finishing sentence} At terrifying children.
OBNOXIOUS FAN (POSSIBLY QUAGMIRE): YeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahohmygodohmygodohmygodAWEXOMEAWEXOMEAWEXOME!!!!!
SKULLB: uuuuunngh
{calms down} Ahem. Giggity.
{The movie continues.}
I AM BELL: Um? Okay... {kills random guy. everything becomes normal}
CHWOKA: I still see a bunch of poorly-written non-human characters, though. Now THAT'S a plot hole.
BADSTAR: So... what do we do with the floppy disk?
BLUEBRY: Well, we could make an "eject the floppy" joke, but those got old after 1997.
I AM BELL: Leave that to me.
{Cut to 20X6. The stinko-wing is flying high above the lava zone.}
20X6 COW: {pops up and screen freezes.} This is maddnes! Madness... THIS IS 20X6!!!!!!
BLUEBRY: I'm going to commit suicide and there is nothing you can do about it.
{Cow puncher goes away.}
CHWOKA: So, is it over now?
{Chwoka stands up and picks up SkullB}
Epilogue
CHWOKA: Oh goddamn it.
{Chwoka sits back down}
I AM BELL: Bye!
{I am bell drops the floppy disc onto Saargtsson's
SKULLB: Sssassraaagtsson. I think that's some Danish county.
head, the disc then bounces into the lava}
SAARGTSSON: OW! What the?
NARRATOR: And so ends a wonderful story. But unfortunately, the villains would survive and H44WP would brainwash Ll and everybody in 20X6, and get extremely close to killing Im a bell and friends. But that, is another story.
{The screen fades to black. The words, The End appear on the screen in big gold letters. Cut back to the theater.}
BELLSON: ...That, was the greatest thing, I have ever seen.
BLUEBRY: Kill me.
SKULLB: I think he just means the text.
Say, I wonder where Bell's run off to.
{Cut to outside of the theater. Everyone is watching Im a bell who is in the middle of the road}
IM A BELL: Oh, hey ever-
CHWOKA: -thing dark, a part of SPOOK CLIFF incorporated.
{Im a bell is hit by a truck}
BLUEBRY: This is some Epic Movie-level humor here.
SKULLB: Bell Death Count: not enough
BADSTAR: So... should we show everyone the trailer for the seqeul?
SKULLB: Seqeuls never live up to the orignials.
IM A BELL:{just a head} S-sure...{dies}
{Cut to a black screen. Words in gold fade in.}
NARRATOR: Coming Soon to a HRFWiki near you...
CHWOKA: I would rather it get as far away as possible.
{Cut to a poorbt finding the floppy disk.}
BLUEBRY: I thought it was SARS or whatever.
POORBT: What's this?
{Cut back to the black screen. New words fade in.}
BLUEBRY: So the old words never left?
NARRATOR: Bell Quest II: Cow Quest!
{Cut to H44WP zapping Ll with the mind control ray. Cut to him in front of a mind controlled army of every single 20X6 character.}
H44WP: I want all of you to capture these two for me! {Holds up two pictures. One picture has Im a bell, and the other has Badstar.}
NARRATOR: When H44WP is unleashed... The world as we know it will be... FOLLOWING THE RULES!!!!!
{Cut to a black screen. Gold words appear}
NARRATOR: Coming A Month 2007.
BLUEBRY: You're off deadline I'd say.
{cut back to the theater}
BADSTAR: So... WHO'S READY FOR THE AFTER PARTY!?!?
CHWOKA: Afterparty: A party taking place in posthumous celebration of a big event. After party: An event taking place after a party.
IM A BELL: Thanks to my power of plotholes, I'm somehow alive and in one piece! {gets hit by another truck} Er...
{1 HOUR LATER...}
IM A BELL: Back to normal! Er... Why have the afterparty now? We already started Bell Quest II!
COW: I dunno. I got back to saving you.
IM A BELL: Er... Wait, did you just try to fill a plothole? I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COW: Ah no! Oh, and where is my cameo?
BLUEBRY: You're in it.
BADSTAR: Ummm... if we are here... who are those people?
{Cut to a real life theater. The real life Badstar, Bell, and Cow Puncher are there.}
CONNOR {REAL LIFE BADSTAR}: Holy. carp.
SKULLB: "What hell hath we unleashed?"
DREW {REAL LIFE BLUEBRY}: Is this in style now?
KEITH (REAL LIFE IM A BELL): Oh Crap. I DO read too much Bob and George. Er... I feel like destroying somethi- Oh, {bleep}. My HRFWiki form is trying to escape. Er... I seem less insane and somewhat retarded than usual...
SKULLB: Hooo boy. I could say a lot about this little paragraph here.
DANIELL (REAL COW): Hey, Connor, where did you put the Mayo?
KEITH: Danielle, now that there's no possible way of this being a fourth wall break, why are you using your bro's username?
CONNOR: It's her real name.
KEITH: I meant that she's editing with her bro's account. I wanted to know why.
DANILLE: My brother had to edit his userpage, but I started using it. Hold on, I'll change. Done
KEITH: Er... Is it even possible to use strikethrough here? Oh well. Um... Where is this theater?!!!
DANILLE: Hey, um, I'll call Claire. (Shwoo)
CLAIRE (REAL SHWOO): Yes?
KEITH: Yeah, uh, we'd want to know where the {bleep} this {bleep}ing theater is.
SKULLB: If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't Bell like ten years old at this point? Wow, he was {bleep}ed up.
It cann't be FCUSA or any of those fictional places, because we're real. Wait, you see that red fadey lkndd
BLUEBRY: ...um what
over there? Oh god. This must be- Calm down. No HSR references...
CONNOR: This theater is in the real world.
KEITH: I can see that, but WHERE in the {bleep}ing real world?!!!
BLUEBRY: Cursing at 13 and spending all of your time online does not make you cool.
DANILLE: I think in Conch street adress 4232446 that guy's phone number 555-777-223
CONNOR:...Wow. Keith, your right. you have been reading too much Bob and George. Right, Nate?
{Camera zooms out a bit to reveal Nate from "Bob and George" sitting next to Connor.}
NATE: {Nods}
KEITH: For a second, I thought you said "a bit of Nate".
CHADLING: {Next to Keith.} LETS GET OUt OF HERE AND GET ICE CREAM!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANILLE: Look at this! Bell Quest/10inengrish
KEITH: The {bleep}?!!!
SKULLB: THERE IS MORE OF THIS
CHWOKA: Actually, I'm pretty sure this is it.
{Chwoka picks up SkullB, and the gang leaves the theater.}