(even if you aren't vegan)
Making an Original Character: The Choom-Approved Way!
The Choom-Approved Way!
How to get ahead in the world of fiction, fan or otherwise
By Skullivan Buggy, PFA with assistance from the Chooms (love you all)
So you want to write, but you can't think of an original character? We've all been there, trust me. One of the biggest struggles faced by the modern writer is not the Creative Idea Shortage of 2009, contrary to popular belief, but the dilemma of creating a character that, while original, isn't terrible, as are most peoples'. I'm Skullivan Buggy, professor of the fictional arts and professor emeritus at my local community college, and I'm here to tell you that yes, you can write for beans! Peanuts, even! By reading the following guide, I'm sure that you'll be ready to tackle the writing world head on, without a helmet.
Enjoy, and happy writing!
Section One: Let's Get Started!
One of the first things that you need is an idea. It's not easy for everybody, and it may take some time, so set aside a good week dedicated to coming up with ideas. Pack bag lunches, bring a sleeping bag; whatever you need, take it with you on your soul journey. Once you speak with your spirit animal and the power of inspiration takes you in its stranglehold, you may come out with a passable idea. While it may still have traces of suck, as is the case with even the professional writers, you can shape it like clay into the greatest thing you'll ever write.
To come up with an original character, it's best to start with a base. Now, then, think to yourself: what's your favorite anime or video game? Simply take whatever character that is attached to your heart the most and use his or her personality as a base for your character. "But Skully," you ask, "what if I don't have a favorite character from an existing franchise?" The answer to this is simple; use yourself! After all, nobody knows you more than you!
So, let's take yourself and analyze their personality. Are you fat? Possibly, and that is a negative character trait if I've ever seen one. Make your character slender or muscular—whatever you find appropriate. Now, are you a nice guy, or are you a badass? Simple; you're a badass no matter what, so reflect that with appropriate attire, like leather, chains, zippers, and spikes galore. Roll 'em in liquid Hot Topic, and be sure to color their hair an unusual color, like green or purple; that's called being nonconformist, and you don't want your character to sink into a crowd. Finally, if you're writing in a fantasy setting, do not make your character human no matter what. Make them an elf, or a dwarf; and if you've truly bonded with nature, as I have, then make your character an anthropomorphic animal. It's not a furry if it's a fantasy character!
Finally, they need a name; that's important, of course. A name defines a character! Therefore, you must consider what name most closely reflects your character's personality; try a biome name, like Forest or Tundra, or an abstract ideal, like Chaos or Arbitration. Actually, no, scratch that, give them a Japanese name. Nobody's done that one yet, so best get a leg up on the pile.
Section 2: Powers and Abilities
Of course, your character is the most important character in the story. Understandable, right? It's practically your avatar, and you know you would protect yourself in any situation. Therefore, it would be best if you had all the powers and abilities, to make sure that your character can dig itself out of any nasty event it bumps into, which may be all the time if he's especially douchey badass.
To make it easier to narrow down the most important choices, my colleagues and I have assembled a list of quintessential powers and abilities for any self-respecting character to possess!
- Psychic powers
- While you can play God, your character can't. At least, not until you let them read other peoples' minds, lift objects with their minds, and minds minds with their minds! Need a reason? No you don't—they're born with it! If that doesn't work, they're part of a secret government experiment! Anything and everything can give you psychic powers in your world!
- Gender changing
- Sometimes ladies have it better than men, and men have it better than ladies. That's a rule of life. After all, ladies can exchange sex for information in spy flicks, and who do you think can't get away with it? That's right, gender changing can give your character advantages in any situation. Getting in a fist-fight? You can't hit a girl! Need to lift a big rock or something manly? Just grow yourself a dong and you'll be all set! It's a great power to have, and it's also great insight into how both the sexes deal with life. It's educational, too!
- Reality-bending
- The world you've laid out for your character must be one that tends to its needs, correct? But what if, for some reason, the world doesn't work out the way it (or you) wants it to? Well, there's a little catch-all that's just handy in any situation; reality-bending! Yes, your character can take things in and out of existence if they wish, they can teleport from place to place, they can destroy things just by looking at them—it's the perfect way to keep your character safe! Well, almost perfect.
- Invincibility
- Nothing should be able to kill your character. Absolutely nothing. If your character dies, a piece of you dies with it—and nothing can take things back from the dead besides Dragon Balls, so the best solution to this problem is to just never die! Bullets, knives, nothing will take your character down. They don't even have to have some stupid weakness like some flawed characters like Superman have! It'll all work out in the end, after all!
