(even if you aren't vegan)
Luigi Emails.mushroom/Emails/3
Cast (in order of appearance}: Luigi, Mario, Styx Fan, Wario, Waluigi, Bob-omb, Leonidas, Koopa Mailman, Grampa Luigi.
Places: Luigi's Room, The Living Room, The Door.
Computer: Lappy 486.
Transcript
LUIGI: {roboticly} All your Emails are belong to Me!
{Mario comes in from the right dressed in a Star Trek Uniform.}
MARIO: What you Say?
LUIGI: {whispering} Not now, Mario! We can do that after this Email!
MARIO: {glummly} Aww. {walks away.}
{Luigi opens up the email.}
subject: VisitHey, Sonny!
Remember me? I'm'a comin' over to visit!
Well, bye Sonny!
Ol' Grandpa Luigi
LUIGI: {excited} Grampa Luigi? I'm so excited! And there's my old technology expert! You learned how to email fast! You we're always the mad inventor {sighs.}
{Luigi gets up and goes into the Living Room. You can see Styx Fan on the couch. It shows that he's watching No Signal Fuzz (and he's laughing at it.}
LUIGI: I'm not going to ask.
{the doorbell rings. Luigi excitedly gets it, only to find Wario and Waluigi.}
WARIO: {trying not to laugh} Special Delivery!
WALUIGI: {also trying not to laugh} Yeah, Special Delivery.
LUIGI: Is it from Grampa Luigi?
WARIO: {still trying not to laugh} Sure!
WALUIGI: {still trying not to laugh} No. I mean Yes!
{Luigi takes the package. He opens the package only to find a Bob-Omb.}
LUIGI: Uh-Oh!
{cuts outside the house. A Giant Explosion takes the roof off. The roof comes back down. Cut to inside Luigi is charred.}
LUIGI: How could I fall for that the third time in a row?!?!
{The Doorbell rings again. Luigi gets it only to find Leonidas.}
LUIGI: This is Madness!
LEONIDAS: Madness? {dramatic pause} THIS... IS... SPARTA!!!!!!!!!! {Leonidas Kicks Luigi to the ground.}
{Leonidas leaves. Luigi gets back up and is bleeding all over. The door rings yet again. Luigi glummly gets it to find a Mailman Koopa holding a package.}
MAILMAN KOOPA: Special Delivery for a Mr. Luigi.
LUIGI: {glummly} That's Me! {glummly takes the package} Hey is there an Explosive inside of here?
MAILMAN KOOPA: Nope!
LUIGI: Are you gonna kick me?
MAILMAN KOOPA: No!
LUIGI: Good!
{the Mailman Koopa hands Luigi a Clipboard. Luigi signs it then kicks the Koopa.}
LUIGI: {reading the package} Do not use Knife to open this. Hmm. Must be that Blow-Up Doll I ordered.
{Luigi rips the top of the Package off. Out of the Package pops a Thin Old Man with Einstein-like hair, a mustache, Goggles on his forehead, Round Glasses, A white Labcoat with a Green L on it's breastpocket, Black Rubber Gloves, Blue Pants, and Black Rubber Boots.}
OLD MAN: SUPRISE!!!
LUIGI: {screams and falls to the floor. He Gets back up} Grampa Luigi?
GRAMPA LUIGI: In Person!
MARIO: Hey! Where's Grampa Mario?
{Both Luigi and Grampa Luigi Burst out Laughing}
LUIGI: Grampa Mario?
GRAMPA LUIGI: That guy's Dull and Boring!
MARIO: But, I thought he was cool!
GRAMPA LUIGI: {at the same time as Luigi} THEN YOU'RE NOT!!!
LUIGI: {at the same time as Grampa Luigi} THEN YOU'RE NOT!!!
{Mario runs off Crying.}
GRAMPA LUIGI: So how's it been Sonny?
LUIGI: Oh not Bad, I was voted the most bravest man in The Mushroom Kingdom, I became a billionaire and bought my own mansion, then I became a Ghostbuster, then I finally decided to settle down here in Wiki City.
STYX FAN: Liar! If you were a billionaire, you'd buy your own house instead of living here!
LUIGI: At least I can tie my own Shoes!
STYX FAN: MORE TO COME!!!!!!!!!!