Lex's Wikihood Redux Remake/eps/1

Summary

Ribbit

Transcript

{The main theme for Uta Kata is heard, it then plays out, after it is finished, the camera pans out to reveal it playing on TV, watched by Vindicator and Coach X.}

VINDICATOR: I absolutely love that intro. It gets me every time!

COACH X: Pfft. You're only saying that because of the scantily-clad females!

{Vindicator smacks Coach X in the back of the head, knocking him off of the couch and sending him face-down onto the floor.}

VINDICATOR: I have interests other than women, you know. Plus, they're 14!

COACH X: {Muffled} I think you may have broken my face...

VINDICATOR: Serves you right. {Puts his feet on Coach X and uses him as a footrest.}

{Opening Theme for Wikihood plays and the logo appears. After a short while, Znex walks by, humming the tune. Vindicator comes up behind Znex and puts his hand over his mouth.}

VINDICATOR: Don't hum that! The fourth wall does not like to be broken!

{The door rings.}

VINDICATOR: Ooh! A guest!

{Vindicator lets go of Znex and rushes to the door. He opens it. Noxigar is standing there, holding a sledgehammer. Without hesitation, he bashes Vindi over the head with the hammer, causing a giant lump to appear on his head.}

VINDICATOR: Oww! Why did you do that for?

NOXIGAR: Ooh, sorry! Thought you were the door! Silly me!

{Noxigar throws the hammer offscreen, hitting someone else with it.}

NOXIGAR: Oops! Oh, hey guys!

ZNEX: Hey Nox! Didn't you say you were planning to do something today?

NOXIGAR: Yes I was! I thought that you guys weren't that busy today, so we could possibly visit the Caves of Time to explore a bit, and possibly learn more about Wikihood on the way. You guys up for it?

VINDICATOR: Sure.

ZNEX: I'm game.

NOXIGAR: Excellent!

{Badstar pokes his head through the still opened door. He walks into the house.}

BADSTAR: Wait a second... This ain't my house!

ZNEX: Who even owns this house, anyway?

VINDICATOR: Oh, it belongs to some guy I've been stalking. He goes on holiday often and when he does, I like to borrow his house and pretend that its my own. He doesn't know, of course.

NOXIGAR: Creepy.. Oh well, let's go!

{Jump cut to the Caverns of Time. The gang are now standing next to statues of the four original creators.}

BADSTAR: Who are these dudes?

NOXIGAR: Ah! These "dudes" happen to be the original creators of Wikihood! The one in red is Eric, and the naive-looking one is Strong Sader. The floating chocolate bar in the jet pack is Technochocolate. I don't know who the other one is, though. Anyway, I'm sure that they would all be proud of us for carrying on their legacy, right?

{Eric's statue shakes and hisses, and a voice is heard echoing through the caverns}

VOICE: Fuckkk youuuuuuuuu......

NOXIGAR: Oh my. I'm sure it was nothing. Onwards, travellers!

{Badstar leans on the wall, accidentally triggering a mechanism within the caverns. Suddenly, it starts shaking as it starts to collapse on itself.}

BADSTAR: Oops.

VINDICATOR: Now look what you've done. Screw you guys, I'm going home!

{Vindicator vanishes in a cloud of smoke, leaving both Noxigar and Badstar on their own.}

NOXIGAR: You know, this is not the way I wanted to go. Say, where's Znex?

{Out of nowhere, a purple blur appears to save the duo. In a matter of seconds, they are safely outside of the caverns. Znex pulls out a cigarette and puffs on it triumphantly.}

BADSTAR: ...YOU HAVE SAVED MY LIFE. I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

NOXIGAR: Wow.. thanks dude. I can honestly say that without you, we would've died.

ZNEX: Oh, pish. It was all in a day's work!

{A hot-air balloon appears from the horizon. It moves closer, before landing right in front of the trio. A man steps out of it, dressed in full flight gear. He lifts up his flight glasses to reveal that he's Sephiroth.}

SEPHIROTH: Howdy.

BADSTAR: Ooh, fancy meeting you here, Seph!

NOXIGAR: Yeah.. fancy meeting you here, of all places. How did you know we were here, anyway?

SEPHIROTH: That's easy! I've been stalking you for the last week!

ZNEX: Seriously? Am I the only one here who isn't a complete stalker?

BADSTAR: I believe so. Anyway, we still have time in the day. Anyone up for a film?

ZNEX: Only if I pick the film. Seeing as I saved you, and everything.

SEPHIROTH: You didn't save me.

ZNEX: Oh.. well. I'll pay for your popcorn.

SEPHIROTH: Deal.

NOXIGAR: Yeah, I'm cool.

BADSTAR: Alrighty then. Let's mosey.

{Cut to the theatre. The movie showing is a soppy romance movie. Everyone (Apart from Znex, who's too busy bawling his eyes out) looks completely bored with the film. Sephiroth leans over and whispers to Badstar.}

SEPHIROTH: Eh, this movie blows major chunks. Wanna ditch these losers?

BADSTAR: You bet.

NOXIGAR: Oi. Don't leave me here.

{The three of them quietly sneak out, without Znex not knowing any different. Cut to outside. Noxigar and Badstar are standing around, while Sephiroth is puffing on a cigarette. Znex comes out, looking distressed.}

ZNEX: You guys left me. You... bastards!

SEPHIROTH: Oh, leave off. {Checks watch.} Eh, it's getting late. I don't know about you cats, but I'm scurrying home. Anybody want a lift?

ZNEX: Yeah, let's go guys. It's late.

{Sephiroth climbs into the main seat of his Cadillac, and the rest follow. Cut to the house, which is now under leadership of Count X. Vindicator is tied up and gagged, while Count X is using him as a footrest, just like the beginning of the episode.}

COUNT X: How do you like it now, bitch?

{Vindicator mumbles something in an angry tone. Count X kicks him in the face.}

COUNT X: Quiet, footrest.

{The door opens, and the gang walks inside.}

COUNT X: Hey guys! How was it?

NOXIGAR: It was fine, thanks!

ZNEX: Yeah, it was really fun, and we even met Sephiroth!

COUNT X: Wow, the dude from Final Fantasy? Sweet!

ZNEX: No, the other one.

COUNT X: Ohh. Yo.

SEPHIROTH: Hey.

{Sephiroth and Count X fist-bump each other.}

COUNT X: So.. anybody interested in playing some TF2 on the Xbox? There's enough room on the Vindicator Footrest for everyone!

BADSTAR: Sure! I call dibs on Red Team!

{The gang sit at the couch and all put their feet on Vindicator, while grabbing a controller for themselves. Vindicator struggles to get himself free, but fails. Cut to black.}

END