KickCheat E-mails/Fivemail

KickCheat E-mails #5

Because it's KickCheat's 5th e-mail. He answers 5 other e-mails.

Cast: (in order of appearance): KickCheat, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Homestar runner, waiter, Homsar

Places: The Computer room, The field, a street alley, Homestar's House, Strong Bad's Basement, Doughnut place

Computer: Compy XP

Lines: 59

Script

KICKCHEAT: {Clicks on e-mail while talking} Checkin' e-mail on the Compy XP. The new computer! Alright everybody, since this is my 5th e-mail, I will answer 5 of your e-mails! Ready? Jibney! Oh, I mean go.

So, KickCheat,
Did you ever take your shirt off? I want to see what happens!

The 386

KICKCHEAT: {types while talking} WHAT?! Are you crazy? What's under my shirt is what is under The Cheat's fur! The Cheat usually gnaws my face off when that happens. Anyway, you are going to be DELETED!

{The screen flashes:}

NICE TRY!

KICKCHEAT: What? I said deleted!

{The screen flashes:}

DO IT IDIOT!

KICKCHEAT: This computer will not do anything! Okay, you win. Let's go see what happens when I take my shirt off.

{KickCheat leaves the Compy XP. Cut to the field. The Cheat is standing around doing nothing. KickCheat walks onscreen}

KICKCHEAT: Hey Pikachu!

THE CHEAT: {Makes The Cheat noises}

{KickCheat takes off his shirt. The screen goes black for a few seconds. Cut back to the field}

KICKCHEAT: OWWW! YOU LITTLE BA...

STRONG BAD: {Offscreen} No swearing KickCheat!

KICKCHEAT: Okay, sorry! {Puts his shirt on} Back to the five e-mails. {Walks offscreen. Cut to the computer room}

KICKCHEAT: There you go The 386, that's what happens when I take my shirt off. Okay next e-mail.

kickwheat,
Are you a Hulkamaniac? I can't get enough of the Huilkster!! When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, brother! My question is, WHATCHA GONNA DO, brother, when those 20-inch pythons and Hulkamania run wild on YOU?

Hulkamaniac

P. S.: BROTHER!!!!

KICKCHEAT: Ummm...what is a hulkamaniac? Are you even sure this is an e-mail? This one doesn't belong in e-mail shows. Okay, next e-mail.

KickCheat,
Have you ever seen any strange grafiti before?

51 Down

KICKCHEAT: Yes I have. It's very strange, so I warn you to leave the room right now.

{KickCheat leaves the computer. Cut to a street alley showing this grafitti on the wall that has the letters PFG}

KICKCHEAT: Yeah, I told you it is strange! I have always wondered what PFG stands for? Umm...pork..for..uh..grains? Yeah, I don't know. Mabye you can figure it out 51.

{Leaves the alley. Cut back to the computer}

KICKCHEAT: Okay, next e-mail.

Dear KickCheat,
Have you ever done something mean to Homestar runner before?

From Kirby

KICKCHEAT: Yeah, many things! Right now, I am going to pull of a prank on him right now!

{KickCheat leaves the computer. Cut to Homestar getting ready for Decemberween}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and now, I will decorate my frickin' tree with the turkey and dress the stockings!

{KickCheat walks onscreen}

KICKCHEAT: Hey Homestar, it's..oh..nevermind. Someone must have already told you!

{KickCheat leaves}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay. Now to wrap the presents with decemberween lights!

{walks over to a box that is labeled "Many lights in the trash". Suddenly the floor breaks infront of the box and Homestar falls down it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What the crap!?

{A crash is heared}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey! I didn't know I had a basement!

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement with Strong Bad playing Trogodor. KickCheat walks onscreen}

KICKCHEAT: So Strong Bad. Did you tel Homestar it was Decemberween?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Go away, I'm playing Trogodor and I finally beat level 1!

KICKCHEAT: You finally beat level one?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, it took me 2 years to do it!

KICKCHEAT: You know that's just sad. I beat that game last year!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I suck.

KICKCHEAT: Well, at least I made Homestar's floor weak!

STRONG BAD: {Surprised} YOU WHAT?!

KICKCHEAT: I weakened Homestar's floor. He should have fallen through it by now.

STRONG BAD: Hey! That was the prank I was going to pull on him!

{Strong Bad kicks KickCheat out of his house}

STRONG BAD: YOU MORON!

{Cut back to the computer}

KICKCHEAT: Okay, this fivemail is crap! Well, only one e-mail left. Let's get this over with.

1 Doughnut

KICKCHEAT: One donut? Well I do deserve a doughnut, that's for sure! In fact, I am going to the doughnut place right now!

{Leaves the computer. Cut to the Doughnut place}

KICKCHEAT: I would like a double chocolate doughnut please?

WAITER: Okay, that will be $3.00.

KICKCHEAT: What? That's a rip off! I'm out of here!

WAITER: Thank you. Have a nice day!

{Cut back to the computer}

KICKCHEAT: There. I survived 5 e-mails! The paper. Can you end this e-mail?

{The paper comes down}

KICKCHEAT: Well, I got to fish Homestar out of his new basement.

{KickCheat leaves the computer. A few seconds later, Homsar come in}

HOMSAR: Woooaaahh! I can answer an i-ail! Snake pudding!

Dear KickCheat,
Is Homsar a dork?

ABCDEFG

HOMSAR: Woooaaah! I can eat rice on my shoe! I'm a trendy knot!

{Homsar leaves the computer}

STRONG BAD: {Offscreen} Umm..is he getting paid for doing useless things in this show?

KICKCHEAT: {Offscreen} Yeah. It is pretty sad. Now can we just end this e-mail now?!

STRONG BAD: {Offscreen} Okay.