Katawa Incorrigible X6: The World Is Not Enough/5

Transcript

{Open to the two, in Whimsy Dome Zone Act 3.}

QUINT: We're putting emphasis on how much this place sucks.

HENRY: Speak for yourself. I like the Sonic games, and your appalling lack of skill at platforming is not going to ruin my experience.

{Henry is flying over the Dome's traps, with Quint grabbing on to one of his legs.}

QUINT: Dude, I'm not good with pattern recognition.

{Henry continues flying through the level until Quint recognizes a container below. Quint lets go of Henry's leg, then hits the container with his foot.}

HENRY: Quint, whatever you've got, save it for when we have to deal with one of the Katawa Hearts.

QUINT: None of those gits stand a chance against me.

{Quint proceeds onward to the boss doors, opening them. Henry follows.}

HENRY: They actually all stand a chance against you. We didn't even pick up any rings or jewelry to use as a shield.

QUINT: I don't care.

{Quint finds himself in the boss room, with Henry unfortunately stuck inside the corridor, jamming both boss doors behind Quint.}

HENRY: Agh! I forgot I'm too massive to fit through tight spaces!

{Quint sheds a single tear, which falls to the ground.}

QUINT: Damn it, Henry. I love you.

{Suddenly, a sea dragon shows up.}

SOVEREIGN: This intruder lives because I, Sovereign Moonlight, will it. This farce will end because I demand it.

{Quint turns around, his eyes bloodshot. Sovereign points a sniper rifle at Quint, with a laser pointer on the koala's forehead. Quint then transforms into a ball of cyan energy.}

NARRATOR: LASER!

{The ball then proceeds to make a cyan line, as Sovereign makes her shot. The shot is dodged and Sovereign is hit in the back of the head with the Cyan Laser energy, causing her to fall down.}

QUINT: Fuck you! Fuck you, and your eyebrows!

{Quint then stomps on Sovereign, disassembling the sea dragon with his two feet.}

QUINT: WIPE DOWN THIS!

{Quint then takes some oil coming from Sovereign's decapitated head, and covers his entire body in it. Quint then takes Sovereign's sniper rifle, and fires at the wall. The wall breaks, and Quint strides forward.}

QUINT: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT POISONOUS, NO-GOOD SNAKE, I WILL STRANGLE THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!

{Short pause.}

HUGO: Hi, I'm a helicopter named Hugo! I was trapped here by these weird robots, and-

QUINT: I am blessed to have met you, Hugo.

{Quint hugs Hugo, only for his ceiling fans to accidentally decapitate Quint.}

HUGO: Damn it.

{Short pause.}

NOXIGAR: Excellent work, Hugo.

{Noxigar steps out of the darkness and grins, taking Quint's corpse with him as he steps back into the darkness.}

NOXIGAR: Turning Quint into my robotic servant will be the best means of testing to see if he will be as much a member of the Katawa Hearts as the rest of the machines Shogun Lex has asked me to make for him.

HUGO: What shall we do about Henry?

NOXIGAR: Who?

HUGO: My blood-brother. What do we do about him?

NOXIGAR: I guess, since Henry crushed himself to death, we could easily salvage the parts and add them to Quint's cybernetics.

HUGO: ...and Sovereign's corpse?

NOXIGAR: A half-leviathan, half-koala killing machine needs a name if Shogun Lex wishes to conquer the world with it. Something that will invoke fear and intimidation.

HUGO: How about Tknives World Obliterator II?

{Noxigar blinks.}

NOXIGAR: Not a terrible idea, Hugo.

HUGO: We can call him "Tknives" for short?

NOXIGAR: Now you're pushing it. If you had a neck I probably would be strangling you for such a doofus name idea, but I figure I can spin the nomenclature idea as part of the irony.

HUGO: Right as rain, boss.

{Noxigar and Hugo both laugh maniacally, concluding this episode.}