Katawa Incorrigible X6: The World Is Not Enough/1

Summary

Quint and Henry hitch a ride together!

Transcript

{Open to Henry. Zoom inside Henry to find a koala, named Quint.}

QUINT: Henry?

HENRY: Yes, Quint?

QUINT: How far are we from Taco Bell?

HENRY: I don't know. I'd have to lower my altitude in order to spot the signs.

{Short pause.}

HENRY: Did you actually eat all that marijuana some pompous twit got us?

{Quint stabs at the air with a bayonet.}

QUINT: BUGGER OFF, KANGAROO PIMPS! THIS BE MY PROSTITUTE!

HENRY: Wait, which bag did you eat? I can't keep track of where we get our drugs since I have to navigate.

QUINT: I ate the bag with the pills in 'em.

HENRY: Did you eat it all in one sitting?

{Quint belches loudly, such that Henry actually gets a bit of turbulence trying to maintain himself.}

HENRY: Fuck Taco Bell, we need to get you to a hospital stat

{Henry lands on top of a hospital in Maine.}

QUINT: NO, I WANT TACO BELL YOU ASS.

HENRY: Look, once I get the bill paid so you don't die maybe we'll get you a lifetime's supply of Taco Bell.

{An a capella group goes inside Henry and takes Quint out, while tying Henry to a pole. They hum a tune nobody knows about; Henry tries to sing along but ends up coughing and sighing in resignation. Time flies by, to where it is nighttime. Quint unties Henry from the pole, and gets inside.}

QUINT: And then he was all, pomf, "Dude. That's not funny. Seriously. Why would you do that?! Why would your Aladdin ass kill my wife?! Why? WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO RANDOM WITH YOUR JOKES AND THE LACK OF CONTEXTUALIZATION OR PUNCHLINE-SETUP?!"

HENRY: Uh huh.

QUINT: So, pomf, then I proceeded to gain this verbal tic upon remembering, pomf, that people like to say, pomf, random phrases in the middle of their sentences.

HENRY: Uh huh.

QUINT: Pomf, are you even paying attention?

{Zoom out to reveal Henry has just left the hospital in Maine.}

HENRY: Hey, Quint.

QUINT: Yeah?

HENRY: Where the hell are we supposed to be going?

QUINT: Taco Bell. I'm still famished like no other.

HENRY: {sighs} Fine. Just know I won't be able to sing a capella anymore because you smoked so much weed that it messed up my lungs something fierce.

{Short pause}

QUINT: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HENRY: I WILL BREAK FREE FROM THE OPPRESSIVE ROAD! I WILL BE MY OWN MAN!

{Henry flies away, with Quint inside. They are then shot by border patrol and they land at a Taco Bell. The end.}