THE WUW IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
 (even if you aren't vegan)

Jaro Emails Temporary Wiki User Wiki Page Woot/virus

From Wiki User Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Summary

Cast: The Cheatballs, The Knight, The King of Town, Jaro, Grundy, Chorch, Homeschool, Stinkoman, Bubs, 1-Up, Coach Z, Marzipan, Homsar, Homestar, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Pom Pom, The Blacksmith, The Poopsmith(s), The Human Incarnation of Sex Appeal (Easter Egg)

Lines: 200

Transcript

{We fade in to the following text.}

{We then cut to The Cheatballs in their Alternate costumes. They are still wearing their headgear. They are walking in the field towards The Castle, in the distance.}

THE BOSS (JARO): Okay boys, follow my lead.

{They arrive at one of the castle walls. The Boss pulls a rope out of hammerspace and tosses it over the edge. They then climb up awkwardly.}

{On the inside, they look around, and see The Knight sleeping on a bag of Potate. They tip toe past him.}

THE BOSS: Shhh

{While walking, the Cheatball with the cap (Grundy) accidentally steps on a potato chip, which emits a loud CRUNCH. They freeze for a second. Suddenly, the whole castle turns red as a blaring alarm is set off. Disregarding caution, the three Cheatballs run everywhere, knocking food off of shelves and destroying furniture. The Knight wakes up and blinks dumbfoundedly.}

THE KNIGHT: What in the world??

{We then cut to another part of The Castle where The King of Town is seen exiting a room. The alarm goes off and he looks around.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Who sounded that dang alarm?

{The Knight comes running up.}

THE KNIGHT: {Frantic stuttering}

THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, spit it out!

THE KNIGHT: {Spits out a set of dentures} Chaos! Main room! Food spilled!

THE KING OF TOWN: What?! {a faint explosion is heard in the background} That sounded like my vat of turkey drippings! Take me to the back chamber!

{The Knight reluctantly lifts the KOT on to his back and slowly walks off screen. We then cut to the The Cheatballs, standing waist deep in gravy in another area.}

THE BOSS Let's see..

{The King of Town and The Knight run in.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Look at this mess! Get them!

THE BOSS: Okay, now!

{The Cheatballs turn invisible suddenly, and the two of royalty look perplexed.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Oh God! Have I gone blind?!

THE KNIGHT: They disappeared!

{We cut to the outside of the castle. Gravy footprints appear in the grass. Far away from the castle, the Cheatballs reappear, in regular form.}

THE BOSS: Perfect! And now, we wait for that Jaro kid to be discovered!

{The Cheatballs squeal with glee. We then cut to the entire town (sans Homeschool, Bubs and the 20X6ers) gathered at The Castle around a large hole in the wall.}

STRONG BAD: If you ask me, Kingo, you've had this coming a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

THE KING OF TOWN: That may be, but I want to know who did it, why, and who did it!

{A light bulb appears above Strong Bad's head. He runs over to The King of Town and puts his arm around him.}

STRONG BAD: I bet you're really into finding out who wrecked your castle, aren't you?

THE KING OF TOWN: You'd bet!

STRONG BAD: Well, if you told me what these guys looked liked, I could possibly.. locateasize of them! For a reward, of course!

THE KING OF TOWN: ...I suppose that could work. {To the crowd} Alright, people!

STRONG BAD: What! No, don't tell them t--

THE KING OF TOWN: If you can find a little cup, a chicken with shoes, and a floating whatchamagigit, I will give the capturer-- {close up} A reward. {Pan out}

COACH Z: Wait, what?

STRONG BAD: Ugh, coming here was a waste of time!

{At that moment, the missing townsfolk and the 20X6ers come walking up, with the minion trio in the front.}

JARO: ...I didn't even know America was a monarchy!

{The rest of the town stares at them.}

GRUNDY: Um, did we miss everything?

{The townsfolk suddenly jump at them and attack them violently in a cartoony cloud of smoke. They scream in pain. Marzipan emerges from the crowd, bruised and carrying Grundy.}

MARZIPAN: I'm taking you to the sanctuary!

GRUNDY: Nooo!

{Marzipan suddenly trips and Homestar runs the opposite direction with Grundy.}

GRUNDY: Aw come on!

{We then cut to Coach Z and Strong Bad each pulling on one of Chorch's arms.}

CHORCH: There's not enough of me to go around!

{Through a contrived series of exchanges, Jaro, Chorch and Grundy arrive in front of The King.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {pacing} Well well well, here's the little troublemakers!

JARO: Excuse me?

{Two Knights come up and put their swords out in front of them. Homeschool runs up.}

HOMESCHOOL: King, stop! Whatever you're angry about they--

THE KING OF TOWN: They wrecked my food!

HOMESCHOOL: They've been over at Bubs' for hours!

THE KING OF TOWN: I know what I saw! Now get out of here before I have you thrown in the pit!

{Homeschool backs down. 1-Up and Stinkoman stand off to the side looking concerned, while the Blacksmith towers over them, a hammer in his hand.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Now, as for you three! I could just throw you in the dungeon for life.. So I will!

{The two Knights pick up the three and carry them inside the castle.}

JARO: No, wait! What did we do?? We're innocent!

GRUNDY: Attica!

KING OF TOWN: I need a bath.. Where's my Poopsmith? I haven't seen him in days..

{Suddenly, we cut to a shot of Grundy's mind, where a series of gears begin to spin.}

GRUNDY: I get it now!

THE KNIGHT: Quiet, you!

{The Guard hits him and the screen goes black.}

{We then cut to the field, where the Cheatballs are standing, huffing and puffing. The Boss pulls out a pair of binoculars and looks into the distance, and sees Jaro and his friends being dragged into the Castle. He then puts them away.}

THE BOSS: Success!

{They shout happily. The boss pulls out the flash drive with the virus.}

THE BOSS: Well, we didn't need to use this after all.. I wonder what we sho--

FEMALE CHORUS: Contrived wiiiiiind

{A gust of wind blows the flash drive out of The Boss' "hand".}

THE BOSS: Oh. Well, guess that solves that problem. Well, let's eat, and then, we'll get outta this universe!

{We cut to the computer room of the Strong home. The window is open, and nobody is home. The Compy sits idle. The flash drive then flies through the window and attaches itself to the back of the Compy.}

{Fade to The Dungeon. It's stanky and danky and gross. The door flies open and Jaro, Grundy and Chorch are thrown in.}

JARO: Wait! Don't we get a trial!?

KNIGHT: Ha! What do you think this is, a free country?

JARO: Well--

{The door slams shut. The room is sealed in darkness except for a single window several feet out of reach.}

GRUNDY: Oh, god! This is it! The walls are closing in on me! Help!

CHORCH: {to Jaro} We've gotta get out of here.

JARO: How? {looks up} We can't reach that window! {blinks} Hey wait, you can float! Can't you fly up there and--

CHORCH: My flying is limited to ten feet above the ground. I can't reach. And even if I could, I couldn't get through those bars.

JARO: There's gotta be something we can do...

HOMESCHOOL: {outside} Guys? Are you in there?

JARO: Homeschool!

HOMESCHOOL: Hey. We're trying to reason with the King of Town to get you out!

JARO: Oh, good! How's it going?

HOMESCHOOL: Not so good.. but we're still trying! Oh, also, we're close to creating fuel for the ship!

CHORCH: Really? That's great!

JARO: What kinda fuel?

HOMESCHOOL: Well, it turns out that Bubs has never thrown away any of his unsold food! These old chili dogs have so many unsafe chemicals in them, that we think they'll be perfect for the ship!

JARO: Sweet.

HOMESCHOOL: The problem though, is finding enough to power it long enough. We probably won't have enough to get us out of the universe.

JARO: Oh no... Well don't give up trying to find something!

HOMESCHOOL: Okay, I need to get back to getting you guys out. Hang in there!

{Homeschool walks away. It cuts over to Grundy hanging from some chains attached to the wall.}

GRUNDY: Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...

{We then cut to Strong Bad arriving home. He plops down in front of the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: Friggin King.. He didn't even remember our deal! Ah well. At least I managed to steal a few of his SNES tapes... AAAAANYWAAAAY. {begins typing} I got the email, you got the email, I got the email, you got the email.

STRONG BAD: {attempts to read it but stops halfway through} What is this?

{Cut to the Dungeon again. They are all lying down.}

GRUNDY: The Poopsmith.

JARO: {tumbles over} What?

GRUNDY: The Poopsmith.

CHORCH: Poor Grundy. These few minutes in the Dungeon are really getting to him.

JARO: We should put him out of his misery.

GRUNDY: No, guys! Look!

{Cut to a shot of a small crack in the door. The Poopsmith's blue feet are seen. The door then opens, and he walks in. Jaro, Grundy and Chorch are obscured in the darkness.}

THE POOPSMITH: That Dark Greggo! How did he know I was lying about temporally displacing everyone in free country! God!

{The Poopsmith pulls out a remote, which causes a staircase to appear in the floor. He goes down it.}

THE POOPSMITH: {trailing off} He's going to be pissed if he finds out I don't even..

JARO: The Poopsmith was working with Dark Greggo??

CHORCH: Let's get him!

{They run down the staircase. Down there, they find, strangely enough, a very up scale room, with a lit fireplace and and a bookcase. Jaro and them are shocked to see The Poopsmith (of the Jaro Email design) clanking glasses of wine with another Poopsmith (of the official design). Let's call the Jaro Poopsmith, Poopsmith 2.}

JARO: What the--?!

POOPSMITH 2: {shocked} Jaro?! What are you doing here?!

JARO: We were in the dungeon and--

GRUNDY: You're working for Dark Greggo??

CHORCH: How could you?

POOPSMITH 2: Guys, let me explain. First of all, I was working with Dark Greggo, but only to mess with him. He thought I would be of some help creating a temporal distortion in the future, but I didn't do anything.

JARO: But--

CHORCH: But there was a temporal distortion in the future! It started right after you left!

POOPSMITH 2: ...that is worrying.

JARO: So wait, what are you doing here?? Why is there another Poopsmith??

POOPSMITH 2: Well, me and Nacho talked it over when you were gone, and I decided it would be less obstructive to the timeline if he brought me back before I had left for 20X6.

JARO: But that makes two Poopsmiths! And then.. and... Oh wait. I think I get it..

GRUNDY: So this other Poopsmith is the one we take to 20X6 with our weapon..

CHORCH: This is confusing.

POOPSMITH 2: It doesn't matter. Anyway, we were just celebrating our last moments together.. Kinda sad actually. So, do you guys want a chili dog?

CHORCH: Chili dogs?

POOPSMITH 2: Yeah, I've been saving crates of these from Bubs' since 1995!

CHORCH: Poopsmith, this is just what we need! Can we take some of your boxes?

POOPSMITH 2: But.. I've been saving these forever! They're perfectly juicy now!

CHORCH: We need them to power our universal ship so we can bring peace to the universe!

POOPSMITH 2: ...well when you explain it like that... Sure, go ahead..

CHORCH: Great! I promise we'll pay you back one day--

{The intercom turns on.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {intercom} Attention FCUSA! Some strange distrubances have taken place at the Strong Home. Please leave the are-- What the? Uh! No! Please! Stop! I'm old! And Fat! And rich! And cool!

POOPSMITH 2: Uh, that doesn't sound good.

{The HR poopsmith disappears in a flash of light.}

POOPSMITH 2: Nooo! I didn't get to say goodbye!

JARO: Quick! We need to get out of here, now! We have to get to Bubs'!

CHORCH: Get the chili dogs!

{They run back up the stairs and through the open door, each of them carrying a crate. The castle is made of red and black wireframe, and sky is flashing multiple colors. They run out the castle doors and past a Custard Shop. The Cheatballs are sitting outside.}

THE BOSS: Hey, wait--

{The Cheatballs suddenly turn into floating Pan Pan heads and drift off into the distance. We cut to the basement of Bubs'. Homeschool, 1-Up and Stinkoman are sitting around the machine when Jaro and them come running downstairs.}

JARO: Quick! Something's happening! Put these in the ship!

HOMESCHOOL: Hey you found fuel! This is great!

JARO: Yeah, we know! Just put it in, we've gotta get out of here!

HOMESCHOOL: Uh, okay!

{They climb into the machine, sans Poopsmith.}

JARO: Poopsmith, aren't you coming??

POOPSMITH: Nah. I've got a role here. I'll be fine.

JARO: .....alright.

{Homeschool dumps the boxes of chili dogs into a big hole in the back of the ship. It starts to rumble. The roof of the ship goes down and a small fire shoots out of the exhaust. Grundy waves goodbye. The ship then lunges foward into the wall, but disappears before hitting it.}

{Cut to the outside of the concession stand. It flashes several colors and morphs through several forms before suddenly, the world returns to normal. A shotgun blast fills the air. The Poopsmith walks out of the back of the stand. He is in his normal form.}

THE POOPSMITH: None will be the wiser.

{The camera pans out to show Strong Glad (the girl from Dancing Bubs) standing there.}

STRONG GLAD: Did you just talk?

{We then cut to a view of The Poopsmith at a computer, editing the HRWiki. He types "Strong Glad was a rejected character who never made it in the universe. Nobody ever knew her. Nothing about her is known". He then turns around, showing he is covered in blood.}

THE POOPSMITH: And that's that.

{The end.}

Easter Eggs

  • If you click on something at some point Brooksie will appear.

BROOKSIE: GIVE ME A CAMEO BAWWWWW

Retrieved from "https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?title=Jaro_Emails_Temporary_Wiki_User_Wiki_Page_Woot/virus&oldid=139519"