JCM Grows Up While ExKizuna Gets In Touch With His Female Side

(ExKizuna is shivering in the nurse's office. JCM takes a thermometer out of his mouth.)

ExKizuna: How's it looking, doc?

JCM: I don't know. I can't read this stuff.

ExKizuna: Then why did you use the thermometer in the first place?

JCM: Who's the doctor here?

ExKizuna: What the fuck is wrong with me?

JCM: You probably just have a headache.

ExKizuna: Headaches cause shivering?

JCM: I think so. Just take some asprin from that blue container over there, and you should be fine.

ExKizuna: The blue container?

JCM: Yes. The red container.

ExKizuna: But you just said the blue container.

JCM: Did I?

ExKizuna: Make up your fucking mind!

JCM: Oh, I remember now! It's the purple container!

ExKizuna: Alright. Purple container. I'm sticking with that.

(ExKizuna grabs the purple container, opens it, and pours the pills into his mouth.)

JCM: Wait, no. The purple container is where I store my estrogen pills.

ExKizuna: Estrogen pills? Why the fuck do you take estrogen pills?

JCM: It keeps stuff from happening...down there.

ExKizuna: YOU USE ESTROGEN PILLS TO KILL BONERS?

JCM: ExKizuna! We are in a school setting!

ExKizuna: (grabs JCM's neck) I AM GOING TO...snuggle you like a snuggle snuggie bear! (hugs JCM)

JCM: I like this new Ex! Oh, no! There aren't any pills left! And I'm starting to get...the feeling.

(Ex lets go of JCM in shock as a tent appears in his pants. JCM then grows a mustache and beard.)

JCM: (feels face) Oh, my goodness! Without the pills, the rest of my masculine functions are taking effect, also!

ExKizuna: Thank you so very much for the help! Goodbye, fuzzy wuzzlekins! (skips out of the office)

JCM: Wait, ExKizuna! (trips over beard) This is not going to end well.

(ExKizuna skips down the hall until he's stopped by Clappy.)

Clappy: Why are you frolicking, sir?

ExKizuna: Wouldn't you frolick, too, if your life was happy and flowers and sunshine?

Clappy: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID JCM DO TO YOU?

ExKizuna: He did nothing to me, you silly willy!

Clappy: (rubs head) Okay, okay. Just stand next to my office and try to look intimidating.

ExKizuna: (giggles) Yes, sir!

(Clappy immediately runs into the nurse's office, where he sees JCM trying to smooth out the tent in his pants with a hammer.)

Clappy: What the fuck are you doing?

JCM: (deep voice) Nothing, principal! I'm just peachy!

Clappy: My friend Ex out there is even peachier!

JCM: I'm extremely sorry about that! I thought I hid my estrogen pills a lot better than I did!

Clappy: ESTROGEN PILLS? Why, JCM, why?

JCM: Do you think I wanted this to happen? Now I'm all broad-shouldered and muscular. I look like an idiot!

Clappy: You look like a man, JCM! Manliness is something to be proud of. I'm a man, Ex was a man, and now you're a man, too!

JCM: Yeah, a caveman.

Clappy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Once you shave your beard and that thing in your pants goes away, it'll all be good for you. Throw those fucking estrogen pills away.

JCM: It was good for me before. Nothing's going to convince me to stay like this. Nothing!

(ExKizuna walks into the office breast-feeding a baby.)

ExKizuna: (squeaky voice) I'm not sure where this baby came from, but it sure loves me, doesn't it?

Clappy: Nothing, JCM?

JCM: I think I'm going to throw up!

ExKizuna: It's just nature, guys.

Clappy: YOU ARE A MAN!

JCM: (swallows) Yes. And I'm a man, too.

(JCM throws the purple container away and walks out of the office.)

JCM: Look, everybody! I'm a man with a stiffie!

(The End)