Iori Email.cheese/mile

Iori attempts to run a mile.

Cast: Iori, Strong Bad, Bubs, Marzipan, Coach Z, Homestar

Transcript

IORI: {while typing "iori-mail.exe"} Email tryout song! Yay! Uh.. that wasn't enough song. Oh well.

subject: mile

'Sup, Iori?

Can you run a mile?

Jackman

Not Seb, Florida

IORI: {typing} Jackman? Are you some kind of superhero? If so, what super powers do you have? Anyways, sure, I can run a mile! Just watch! {gets up; pans out} Here-sa I-sa go-sa! {close up on Iori's face; after a second, sweat appears on it; and after 5 seconds...} Ok, I'm done. {pan out; Iori's only a couple feet from his chair} Did I go a mile yet?

STRONG BAD: {enters} Uh, no. You only went about two feet from your chair, Senor Smallbrain. I think you'll need to work out alot if you want to run a mile.

IORI: But it'll take to long!

STRONG BAD: You can have a montage.

IORI: Like Rocky Balboa? Yay!

{The training montage music from montage plays. Cut to a gymnasium. Iori attempts to do a push up, but is unable to lift himself off the ground, and drops down. Cut to him attempting to benchpress weights. Iori lifts the weight a few centimetres from himself, but a fly lands on a side and Iori falls over to the side the fly is on. Cut to Iori running up the stairs of a stadium. Iori gets exausted and stops. Strong Bad is at the side of the stair Iori is on and looks like he is about to hit him. Iori gets a scared expression and continues running. Cut back to the gym. Iori attemts to do a push up, and lifts himself off the ground this time, and does that three more times before it cuts to the staduim stairs again. Iori is running faster and is not getting exausted. Cut back to him benchpressing weights. Iori lifts the weight up four times. The fly comes back and morphs into a cartoon version (two legs/arms, human eyes, etc.) and claps for Iori. Cut to the field which is silhouetted. Iori and Strong Bad are there also silhouetted. Iori and Strong Bad jump up and high five eachother as the song ends.}

IORI: {cut back to Iori's computer room; typing} Alright! I'm ready to run a mile! {pan out} Here-sa I-sa go-sa again-sa! {Iori runs away from his desk. Cut to him exiting his house and heading to the bus yard. He runs up a ramp and flip-jumps over all the buses. Bubs appears from behind the fence}

BUBS: 20 buses! A new record! You beat Strong Bad!

{cut to Marzipan standing in the field. Iori runs by}

MARZIPAN: Keep it up, Iori! Keep up the pace!

IORI: {stops} Thanks for cheering me on, Pawkeegan! {continues running}

MARZIPAN: Aww, he tried to pronounce my name.

{cut to The Stick. Strong Bad is there with an orange. He throws it to Iori. Iori catches it.}

IORI: Thank's Stro Bro!

STRONG BAD: I was trying to throw it at you, but oh well. Good luck.

{cut to an athletic track. Iori runs past the finish line and stops. It then cuts to Homestar, Marzipan, and Coach Z waiting for Iori at the finish line.}

COACH Z: Iori, you won the mile! How did- uh, what's your secret?

IORI: Strong Bad told me to do a training montage. {5 secound pause}

EVERYONE EXCEPT IORI: Yay!

MARZIPAN: Good job, Iori! Have an apple. {give Iori an apple}

IORI: Thanks!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nice job, Iori! You ran as fast as I did!

IORI: Thanks!

{cut back to the computer room.}

IORI: {typing} Well, there you go, Not Seb! Apparently, I can run a mile. And you can do it too! Just have a Rocky-style montage and you could do it. Cue the paper!

Click here

to e-mail Iori

Fun Facts

H*R References

• This email is based on mile.
  • Iori jumping over 20 buses does break the record, as Strong Bad jumped over 19 buses in mile.
• This email refers to the not gag.

Real World References

• Rocky Balboa is mentioned two times, and made one reference to the first movie (a guy throws an orange to Rocky while he is running).