(even if you aren't vegan)


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{Open to Garfield on his laptop. He checks his account statements, online.}

GARFIELD: Let's see...

{Garfield checks his checking and savings. Both are high numbers.}

GARFIELD: Well, I suppose I should make sure I have rent for a while...

{Garfield does some number-crunching.}

GARFIELD: ...Lex's rent will need to be accounted for, too... I don't blame him for finding our current economical system to be a joke, honestly.

{Garfield does EVEN MORE number crunching.}

GARFIELD: Hrm... yeah, I should get groceries at some point... that shouldn't cost TOO much, I don't think...

{Garfield performs Number-Crunching Act 3.}

GARFIELD: And now I have.... enough for maybe ONE or TWO auctions for a magical item of choice.

{Garfield checks his closet, keeping his number-crunching within view.}

GARFIELD: Is it enough for the Distance-Goer gloves? Or maybe an enchantment for the stand-up comedy monocle?

{Garfield returns, and checks the Dwarfnet for any auctions. He does some number-crunching on another tab.}

GARFIELD: Wait, did someone seriously outbid me on this? Ah, shit. How much did they-?

{Short pause.}

GARFIELD: Guess it's ONE auction today.

{Garfield spends a lot of money. He checks to see how much disposable income he has remaining, after the fact.}

GARFIELD: I'll have to give Volkov a hand with his restaurant sometime tomorrow...

{Garfield facepalms.}

GARFIELD: Great, no wonder Edgymancer doesn't take me seriously.