Interviewdoo/The thing

INTERVIEWER: Hello

THE THING: Hello

INTERVIEWER: How's it going?

THE THING: Good

INTERVIEWER: I have some questions for you.

THE THING: Okay, shoot

{interviewer shoots someone}

THE THING: No, no I didn't mean literally.

INTERVIEWER: Bien, désolé je n'ai pas su.

THE THING: What?

INTERVIEWER: Bien, désolé je n'ai pas su!

THE THING: I don't speak French!

INTERVIEWER: Oh, whoops.

THE THING: So you're going to speak English now?

INTERVIEWER: That's not what I was saying whoops about.

THE THING: Then what is it?

INTERVIEWER: I peed.

THE THING: What!?! I JUST bought new furniture!

INTERVIEWER: I'm terribly sorry, I won't do it again.

THE THING: Okay-- wait... you're not talking about something different are you?

INTERVIEWER: No

THE THING: Okay.

INTERVIEWER: Now, to the questions.

THE THING: Good.

INTERVIEWER: Question 1, how many fingers am I holding up?

THE THING: What kind of question is that!?

INTERVIEWER: Answer quickly, time's running out.

THE THING: How much time do I have, 10 seconds?!?

INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry, the price is wrong.

THE THING: What are you talking about?!?

ANNOUNCER: We'll be right back after this word from our sponsors.

SPONSORS: Word.

ANNOUNCER: We're back!

THE THING: Alright, this is the weirdest interview ever.

INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry. This is my first day on the job.

THE THING: Oh, I see--

INTERVIEWER: --said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

THE THING: You know what, just leave.

INTERVIEWER: But, there's no trees here, they have leaves.

THE THING: Alright then, give me more questions.

{The interviewer hands The thing a bunch of pieces of paper saying "questions"}

THE THING: No, I meant ask me questions!

INTERVIEWER: Don't tell me what to do.

THE THING: But that's your job! Asking questions! Isn't it?

INTERVIEWER: No, I work at Tony's Pizza. Did you order pepperoni?

THE THING: What?... Oh, yeah, thanks. How much?

INTERVIEWER: $10. Because I'm superman.

THE THING: ...

Bloopers

• ANNOUNCER: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

SPONCERS: Meow

DIRECTOR: No, you're suppose to say word!