I Know Why The Sun Shines/5

Summary

The team made it into Pier 1 imports this time. They're not just in any Pier 1...They're in...

GLITCHED PIER 1 IMPORTS SUPER-MEGA-MALL-DEPARTMENT STORE!

They're all in different places, and reality is bent. Better watch your back!

Transcript

{Chaos wakes up. He is in a round chair, barefoot.}

CHAOS: Now where are we?

ROBOT: You are in...

GLITCHED PIER 1 IMPORTS SUPER-MEGA-MALL-DEPARTMENT STORE!

CHAOS: Oh, no. Is that why you're here?

ROBOT: No, that's why HE's here.

{Cuts to Joseph, except his hair is longer. He is looking at a giant ruby.}

CHAOS: Is that also why my shoes are gone?

ROBOT: No, they're on the other side of the store. I mean Mall.

CHAOS: This will not be fun. I wonder where the others are?

IM A BELL:{is holding REAL box, is talking into communicator to Future Seph} Seph, Chaos is becoming more and more corrupt. He's trying to trick me into believing the box is just a hoax. {puts away communicator and box} Ahem. Um... Man-eating... rugs?

ROBOT:{oblivious} Oh. They're over there. {points to Man-Eating Rugs aisle}

IM A BELL: Um... Thanks? {walks over to aisle}

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: The Box is not a hoax. {Whispering} Future Chaos is also in the present, and is right now influencing Chaos.

CHAOS: {Whispering to Robot} I REALLY did make that box and put the thing inside of it. Those 2 are just paranoid.

ROBOT: Indeed. Well, now I need to go run intoa small disc and get sent out to millions of americans.

{The robot walks away.}

CHAOS: Hmm. I didn't think that WAS R.O.B. And didn't Brawl come out 10 years ago?

JOSEPH: He's in Attack now.

CHAOS: Wanna help me find my shoes?

{The two go to the left of the screen.}

IM A BELL:{runs to robot} You DO know he was lying, right?

ROBOT: Yes. I did. I could see the corruption in his eyes.

{OOC:Seriously. Stop assuming I'm evil. The book is fine, and it's only there to restore Wikihood! And stop using R.O.B. He's my temp cahracter.}

ROBOT: No, he wasn't you really ARE paranoid. The Future Sephiroth is corrupting YOU. Now, I really need to go.

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: Umm... No. You haven't even seen the future, have you? It's a dystopia! Caused only by King Chaos! If it wasn't the book, what did corrupt him? Answer that!

CHAOS: You know I own an army right?Don't you think I'll take over the world?

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: You did take over the world, WITH your army, you nearly killed Znex, you crippled me, and blackmailed the nation.

CHAOS: I don't need to be corrupted to do that. I'm already a demon. Now, I'm stealing Bell. I don't want to lose him in some portal fiasco, and I want help finding my shoes. Bye!

SEPHIROTH: Chaos! I found your shoes! They got eaten by a rat. That explains why they're covered in Feces. He pooed them out.

CHAOS: That's OK. I always keep a spare sets.

SEPHIROTH: {Takes out a Rootbeer.} Want one?

IM A BELL:{sighs} I'll just have to show you, Chaos. {warps self and Chaos to the future}

{cut to the future. Demon Chaos is sitting on a throne crafted out of skulls in a dark throne room with many slaves surrounding him. Demon Chaos is wearing a crown, and the book is still chained to him. the book has a dark aura surrounding itself and Chaos. The book seems to echo whatever Chaos says}

KING CHAOS:{very angry} WHAT?!! THEY'RE STILL ALIVE?!!

A SLAVE: W-Well sir, th-the men TRIED to s-stop B-Bell, Sephiroth, a-and Znex, but we've only managed to hospitalize Znex...

KING CHAOS: Hmph. Well, bring the men.

{the slave runs off and returns shortly afterwards with ten men}

THE SLAVE: H-Here they are s-sir.

KING CHAOS: Thank you. I won't be needing you anymore.

THE SLAVE: What do you mean by-

KING CHAOS:{vaporizes the slave} THAT'S what I mean. Now, men, why did you not stop the vigilantes?

ONE OF THE MEN: Well, sir, they were just too powerful.

KING CHAOS: Too powerful?!! TOO POWERFUL?!!!!! DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? Now, go capture Bell ans Sephiroth, OR YOU ARE FIRED.

THE MEN:{in unison} Yes sir! {they run off}

BELL:{teleports self and Chaos back to the present time} You see, Chaos?

CHAOS: What? I was putting on my new shoes in the bathroom. So...you DO understand I'm still evil, right? Well, deep down. I mean, if anything, I control THIS BOOK. Now, let's just leave.

{Everyone who went through portals except for Tommyspud walk out of the store.}

CHAOS: Bell, where did Tracy go?

IM A BELL: Um, I think he's in the future. ...OH CRAP. {teleports to future, teleports back with an unconscious and somewhat mutilated Tracy} Chaos, you should be able to help him. You, or the future you, did this to him. {points to a Demon Chaos-shaped marking on Tracy with dark flames surrounding it. Bell gives Tracy to Chaos} If you kill him, you will not live to become that evil dictator. YOU HEAR ME?

CHAOS: Actually, I will. I AM immortal. {walks away with Tracy} You guys go look for other pages. I'll be back.

{Cuts to Chaos with Tracy.}

CHAOS: OK, Tracy. Time to stop playing dead.

{Tracy gets up and brushes his clothes.}

CHAOS: I'm glad they're still paranoid. They just won't listen to reason. And to prove they're paranoid, I have this!

{Chaos holds up a key.}

CHAOS: I made this key last week and put the thing in the box. I will only open it in a time of need. Now, let's go catach up with the others!

{Chaos and Tracy run back ahead, and a mysterious figure with an eye like the one in episode 3 walks out of the shadows. You can see he has green eyes.}

???: So, Chaos, you sealed the second one in that box? Well, I'll help you break it out. I just need to take off his Devil's Throne arm. Then, I will have my revenge:The True Death of Chaos!

{Znex appears, but he has a red cloak on him, a great suit of armour, and his hair is waist length. He also has a scar under his right eye.}

FUTURE ZNEX: Right, where's that book?

CHAOS: Not another idiot.

FUTURE ZNEX: Heh heh, nah, I'm only kidding. I just thought I might greet you like that for no reason.

CHAOS: Cool. Have a trophy.

{Hands Future Znex a PBTC Throphy.}

CHAOS: I'm starting to think something's up. So many future people. I mean, who invited you all?

FUTURE ZNEX: Ourselves. {grins}

CHAOS: I smells a villain at work!

SEPHIROTH: Judging on what I seen, you nearly killed him, and now your aware of us, and you're gonna kill us all. I still don't know why you're gonna turn evil though. I mean, more evil.

FUTURE ZNEX: {to Chaos} Oh yeah, I remember now. I'm supposed to go after some guy called... {gets out papers from under his cloak and rummages through them} ...Sephiroth.

SEPHIROTH: {Gets out a purple sword.} Touch me, and die.

FUTURE ZNEX: No, not you. The guy from the future called Sephiroth. Apparently, he's a criminal who has surpassed the punishment of execution, but he escaped from it and went into the past. I'm here to bring him back. Oh, and he's not you in the future, past Sephiroth, he's just some otehr guy called Sephiroth. He's good at lying and disguising himself..

SEPHIROTH: Does he have silver hair, a black robe, and a long katana? I thnik I know who you are talking about.

FUTURE ZNEX: Nah, that's FF7 Sephiroth. I'm just after a guy called Sephiroth who apparently came to this timeline.

CHAOS: Well, where could that villain be?

???: Right here!

{The Blond haired villain from before hops off the Pier 1 building.}

???: It's been solong, Chaos.

CHAOS: Albedo from Xenosaga?

???: No! I'm Eden!

CHAOS: Right. Who?

EDEN: {WARNING! THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE CONTAINS BATTELS SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!}The one that looked like you, except with white hair and controlled Sdadowmarks until you Killed me and locked me in a mountain! Surely you haven't forgotten!

CHAOS: I was just kidding. So, how did you get free?

EDEN: I exchanged souls.

CHAOS: Yeah. Because, you know- a long, blond-haired shim is always in a mountain.

EDEN: He was speelunking.

CHAOS: Oh. So, why are you here?

EDEN: To provoke you to use the stupid thing you sealed in that box to kill yourself.

CHAOS: I thought throwing it into the future would help.

EDEN: You only threw it about a year into the future!

CHAOS: And these 2 nutcases went and brought it back!

EDEN: Clearly. I also suppose that you thiought I'd forgotten?

CHAOS: Totally.

EDEN: Well, when I get that book, and harness it's powers for myself, I'll rule the world!

CHAOS: Good luck killing me if you can't CATCH ME!

{Chaos flies away.}

SEPHIROTH: I'm getting scared. {Face turns Alfred-Newman like.} Me Worry?

FUTURE ZNEX: You worry.

{The present Znex appears.}

PRESENT ZNEX AND FUTURE ZNEX: {at the same time} Hello, me.

SEPHIROTH: Whoa! {Hair changes to Blond, and sticky uppy, and eyes turn green, with no pupils.} Cool!

EDEN: You're not getting away!

{Eden flies off.}

SEPHIROTH: {Speaks Japanese}

PRESENT ZNEX AND FUTURE ZNEX: {at the same time} Uh...why are you doing that, Seph?

SEPHIROTH: Dunno. {Everything suddenly becomes like a manga comic.} Whoa!

{OOC:You aren't going to come help me?}

FUTURE ZNEX: I suppose I should go and help Chaos, eh?

PRESENT ZNEX: Go ahead. I'll look after Seph here.

{Future Znex flies off.}

{Cuts to a mountain, where Eden and Chaos are fighting.}

CHAOS: You just want my appendages.

{FF7 Sephiroth comes from the sky, and lands right in the middle of Eden and Chaos, having the Crystal from Wikihood Episode 11 tied to his neck.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Greetings. {Puts on a small smirk.}

CHAOS: It's been 10 years, seph. I hope you're ready to fight. We have a big problem on our hands. {After he says that, FF7 Sephiroth is gone.}

IM A BELL:{sighs} Okay. I'll stop accusing you of being corrupt. Wonder what this book IS anyway... {gets out box, takes out book, reads it} "Chapter 1: Introduction to 'Ceasterwíc ǽrende nett: Ætlætnesbóc'" "Village news network: The Book of Destruction"? Um, Chaos, what is this book you put in here? What is "Village news network"? Wait, Wikipedia is a news network... Wiki Village? Wikiville? Wiki... Wiki... Wikihood? Um, Chaos, this may not be the "book", but it DOES seem similar to it.

SEPHIROTH: Book? I've read this book once. It was called "Me, my Androids, and I." It was by this guy who called himself Cell. Have you heard of him, Bell?

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: {From system} There's more to it Bell! Something, that will reveal itself, when it is nescessary!

{Future Znex flies over and sets himself down.}

FUTURE ZNEX: Hah! I heard him! Where is he?

{Future Znex pulls out a small bag from under his cloak and pulls out a cybersword.}

IM A BELL: {to Future Seph} Oh. So Chaos IS lying. ...Wait a minute. {to Future Znex} ZNEX? YOU'RE ON CHAOS' SIDE? HIS MEN were the ones who hospitalized you!

FUTURE ZNEX: Don't tell me that Sephiroth impostor has tricked you into believing that! He's a thief, a murderer, a liar!

IM A BELL: No. YOU are a liar. I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE. IT IS EXACTLY HOW SEPHIROTH SAID IT IS. IF YOU WILL NOT SURRENDER, I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU.

FUTURE ZNEX: Don't make me have to kill you, Bell. {waves his cybersword} The Sephiroth impostor has the ability to detour time-travellers. That's why, whenever you try to go to the future, you always end up in a future where Chaos ends up evil! Don't believe him, Bell!

SEPHIROTH: Wait.. You mean, King Chaos isn't the source of the Future Evil? It's me?!

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: Znex! You traitor! You take the side of the very same person who nearly ending up killing you! He's brainwashed you! You're a fool Znex! Yer' a bum!

SEPHIROTH: Wha?! I want explainations! Now!

IM A BELL: {sighs} Okay. You see Sephiroth, this box {holds up the box} contains the completed book, which cloaks itself as the book by Cell to make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. The book, although necessary to bring Wikihood back to life, is also evil, and the past form of it, which Chaos has, will take control of Chaos, and cause him to be a merciless dictator in the future. Chaos will not object to this, because of his demonic and semi-evil nature. Chaos will take control of almost everyone on Earth, except for me, you, and Znex. But, Chaos will unleash ten men to attack us. They only succeed in hospitalizing Znex. While Znex is badly injured, Chaos heals and brainwashes him into thinking we are the evil ones.

SEPHIROTH: Clear enough for me. But, why would, out of any book, this one, cloak itself as a book made by Cell? God, it's a weird book. Part of it is his own diary. Listen! {Gets out copy of the Cell book and reads.} Dear Diary, I have just completed my stadium for my games. However, I'm not sure what I should call it... maybe the cell games! I really hope some decent fighters come around, as I like a challenge. I would love it though, if Goku, and his son come. But please, god, don't let Mr. Satan come! .... Ok, that, was rather pointless. Even "My Resurrection" by Majin Buu is more interesting. However, none of it lives up to the expectations of "Frieza: The Story of a true Sayian Killer", by Frieza.

FUTURE ZNEX: I don't think you're evil, I just think that he's {looks at Future Sephiroth} evil. And you think I'm brainwashed? Honestly, you people. Past Znex, tell them I'm not brainwashed!

{Present Znex presses a series of buttons on his cuff.}

PRESENT ZNEX: Actually, you are brainwashed. Hmmm.

{Present Znex shoots the gobsmacked Future Znex with his cuff.}

PRESENT ZNEX: Don't worry, it's only a paralysis ray.

SEPHIROTH: Znex, this may be pointless, but can you see if I'm brainwashed? I mean, I'm getting an obsession with Kiddie TV Shows.

FUTURE SEPHIROTH: Oh brother..

ZNEX: Okay, but first...

{Znex shoots Future Sephiroth with his cuff.}

ZNEX: Might not hurt to find out the truth. Now...

{Znex presses a series of buttons on his cuff.}

ZNEX: Nup, you're not brainwashed. You've just been watching too many of them.

JOSEPH: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!!

{Everyone shuts up.}

JOSEPH: You all know you're terrible friends. Chaos is getting beaten up by a freak with great hair, and all you can do is argue about boxes? Fudge you.

{Joseph flies off.}

CHAOS: They aren't showing?

JOSEPH: Clearly not.

CHAOS: Well, Eden just got a whole lot tougher.

{Cuts to eden, who looks like Demon Chaos, but has blue skin in a white shell.}

DEMON EDEN: That book....

{The screen turns black.}

DEMON EDEN: IS MINE!!!!!

THE END!