Fake Character Email Funstar Player/songs

Summary

Funstar hopes that the songs he writes gets approved.

Cast (in order of appearance): Funstar Player, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Da Trick, The Cheat

Places: Funstar Player's Computer Room, The Stage, Club Technochocolate(Easter egg)

Date: May 31, 2008

Transcript

FUNSTAR: Uh, this is an intro with the word "email" in it.

Dear funguy,

Have you wrote any songs?
Curiously,

Dot

FUNSTAR: Oh, dear. Another zoo relative. You put the greeting in the subject bar like him. At least this one has "Dear". But my name is wrong. Anyway, I have written a song or two. If you want to hear them, I can get them out for you. And, one day, if I'm lucky, they will become hits!

{Funstar leaves then comes back a couple seconds later with some papers and a microphone in his hand.}

FUNSTAR: Now, you are about to hear one of the best songs ever.

{Funstar puts the microphone on the computer then takes a deep breath.}

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Funstar!

{Funstar continues to hold his breath and signals for Homestar to go away.}

HOMESTAR: {walks onscreen} What's wrong?

{Funstar "points" to the microphone.}

HOMESTAR: Ooh, a swiss cake roll.

{Funstar gets angry as his face starts to turn purple.}

HOMESTAR: Wow, you can make your face change colors? That's neat!

{Funstar hits his head on the desk.}

HOMESTAR: Would you mind if I took that? {"points" to microphoe}

{Funstar nods and "points" to the door.}

HOMESTAR: Ooh, what are these? {picks up paper} I didn't know you liked poetry.

{Funstar gets dizzy and then falls to the ground.}

HOMESTAR: I just came to tell you that I got a new job as a music manager.

{Funstar jumps back onto his chair, his face white again.}

FUNSTAR: You got a new job as a what?

HOMESTAR: A music manager.

FUNSTAR: I know that!

HOMESTAR: But why did you ask-

FUNSTAR: How did you get the job?

HOMESTAR: I passed a test.

FUNSTAR: You passed a test? {laughs} You couldn't pass a test if your life depended on it.

HOMESTAR: I know, but they gave me the job just to get rid of me. Now you are looking at Manager Homestar.

FUNSTAR: Great. Now, you can release my songs to the public!

HOMESTAR: What songs?

FUNSTAR: {"points" to papers} Those songs!

HOMESTAR: {laughs} Those were songs?! Heh, no can do, Funnystar.

FUNSTAR: {angrily} Why?!

HOMESTAR: Well, those songs su-

{Cut to a black screen saying "FPmail is currently having technical difficulties. We will be back in one second. 1."}

{Cut back to the computer room. It looks the same except the papers are in Homestar's mouth and Funstar is gone.}

HOMESTAR: {muffled} Something tells me he's upset.

{Cut to Funstar's front yard. Funstar is sitting on the sidewalk upset.}

FUNSTAR: Stupid music manager.

{Suddenly, Marzipan walks onscreen with her guitar.}

MARZIPAN: Hey, Funstar, what's wrong.

FUNSTAR: Your boyfriend refuses to put my song on the radio.

MARZIPAN: Well, let me see it.

FUNSTAR: Get them from that so-called music manager.

{Marzipan walks into Funstar's house and walks back out with the wet papers.}

FUNSTAR: Well, what did you think.

MARZIPAN: No offense, Funstar, but they're pretty bad.

FUNSTAR: {yelling} Well, what's wrong with them?! {calm} Sorry.

MARZIPAN: Well, for one, you ripped it off from another song.

FUNSTAR: So? That's what a lot of famous songwriters do. I just can't think of any names right now.

MARZIPAN: Well, the famous songwriters I know are original. You should do that, too.

FUNSTAR: Hmm, maybe you have a point there, I'll do it!

{Cut to Funstar's living room. He is at his desk.}

FUNSTAR: I can't do it! Man, I didn't know being original would be so hard.

{Funstar looks around. He sees a mirror, an advertisement for a movie called "Jack the Slayer" and a picture of Da Trick.}

FUNSTAR: {"snaps"} I've got it!

{Funstar starts writing the song happily.}

{Cut to the Stage. Funstar, Marzipan, and The Cheat walks on it.}

MARZIPAN: Are you sure this will work?

FUNSTAR: Of course! With your guitar skills, The Cheat's keyboard and animating skills, and my singing skills, we can't get declined!

MARZIPAN: But you don't have singing skills.

FUNSTAR: {annoyed} Just do this with me.

MARZIPAN: {sighs} OK.

{Homestar walks on the Stage.}

HOMESTAR: Hello, everyone. Today, a citizen named Funstar Player will show us one of his songs. If it gets approved by me, it will be popular! And, with no further ado, Funstar and the others!

{The crowd cheers.}

MARZIPAN: We have names, you know.

THE CHEAT: {agreeing Cheat noises}

HOMESTAR: Too bad. You two aren't important enough. Now, shoo.

MARZIPAN: Fine, but after this, I'm breaking up with you. {leaves with The Cheat}

HOMESTAR: OK, Funstar, we have the overhead ready. Now, show us the song!

FUNSTAR: Here it is. {brings up the song "Funstar"}

{Funstar sings this song in The Cheat's animation.}

Funstar, Funstar, Funstar Player.
He was never called a slayer.
Everyone already knows it,
But, he has a dog called Da Trick.
That's right, he's
Funstar, Funstar, Funstar Player
He is not an inside-stayer.
He never gets his own way-er.
But, he's still
Funstar Player.
Oh, yeah!
Funstar, Funstar, Funstar Player.
He is not a Spanish sayer.
But, he's still here all day-errrr.
Funstar, Funstar, Funstar, Fun.
His name's Funstar Playerrrr.

HOMESTAR: {crying} Oh, that is so great. There is only one thing to say about this...APPROVE!

FUNSTAR: I did it! Now my song will be on the radio!

MARZIPAN: I can't believe it! I'm going to be more famous than before!

FUNSTAR: I'm going to have a record deal!

THE CHEAT: {excited Cheat noises}

HOMESTAR: Oh, I forgot to tell you something, Funstar!

FUNSTAR: {happily} What?

HOMESTAR: I got fired from my job!

{Suddenly, everyone stops being exited and looks at Homestar angrily.}

FUNSTAR: But, that means that you can't put me on the radio!

HOMESTAR: {laughs} I couldn't put you on the radio even when I had the job. It's restricted to a higher group.

FUNSTAR: What's higher than a manager?

HOMESTAR: I don't really know.

FUNSTAR: Then how will you release my song to the public?!

HOMESTAR: It is released. To the audience! And, I'll show it to anyone that missed it.

FUNSTAR: {twitches} I could do that!

HOMESTAR: Great! Then that saves me less work!

MARZIPAN: Homestar, this is about the time I break up with you and leave. {leaves}

HOMESTAR: Bye, Marzipan!

FUNSTAR: I'm going, too. {leaves}

{The Cheat makes his usual noise then leaves.}

HOMESTAR: Well, what you guys think of it?

{Homestar looks at the audience, which is revealed to be empty.}

HOMESTAR: Oh, they left, too. Hmm.

{Cut to the computer room.}

FUNSTAR: I can't believe that after all my hard work, I got nothing. Well, I answered your question, Period, I did write some songs. Now, leave me alone.

> Click here to e-mail Funstar Player

funplay12@jcmail.com

Easter Eggs

• Click on the paper with the song on it when Funstar first gets it out to see a close-up of part of the lyrics.

Funstar, play. Play.
Funstar, play. Play.
Funstar Player, really good.
Funstar Player, does what he should.
Funstar Player. Da Trick, too.
Funstar Player, we like you!

• Click on songs to see the part of the lyrics of another one.

Twinkle, twinkle, Fuuunstar.
I wish I knew what you are.