FINAL FANTASY/3

{Fade in to a bridge. The heroes are crossing it.}

CHWK: A friggin' bridge. Really.

SKUL: It's a good reward, I guess!

CHWK: "The BLUE Memorial Bridge"? He's not even dead!

BLUE: You sure?

CHWK: ... Uh, yeah. Pretty sure.

NCHO: Our adventure begins!

CHWK: I thought our quest was over. What's with this?

NCHO: Well, after we got the princess back, the king told me that the evil knight Garland rose some evil fiends from the ground--four of them, each representing the four elements. It's very simple, no?

CHWK: ... This seems way too planned to be a coincidence.

NCHO: Yes, you're right. I'm afraid I may have tricked you a little bit.

CHWK: Wait, wait, wait... you knew all along?

SKUL: What?

NCHO: I guess none of you read the job description, just the headline... Ah, 'tis a shame.

BLUE: That sucks.

SKUL: Yeah! It's almost like the writer forgot the plot to Final Fantasy!

{Long, awkward pause.}

NCHO: Well, no matter! We're off to Pravoka, the port town northeast of here!

CHWK: Well, no big. I mean, it's not like we're going to be fighting anything other than imps anyw

CHWK: OKAY WHAT IS THIS

{The Mad Pony kicks CHWK in the gut.}

CHWK: auuuuugh oh god

NCHO: Well? Don't just stand there, let's kill that pony!

{NCHO and SKUL begin furiously attacking the Mad Pony while BLUE stays back.}

CHWK: WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME

BLUE: Can't help.

CHWK: AUUUUUUUGH ITS SO PAINFUL

{NCHO finally cuts the head off of the Mad Pony.}

NCHO: Oh, I see CHWK has taken some damage!

CHWK: NO WAY REALLY

NCHO: Here, let me help.

{NCHO casts a spell on CHWK. CHWK is suddenly surrounded by a shimmering aura as he is picked up into the air and set back on his feet.}

CHWK: Oof... what was that?

NCHO: CURE! I know white magic, you know.

CHWK: Sheesh. Always gotta be better than me, huh?

SKUL: Oh, relax, CHWK! You're always putting him down!

CHWK: Well he's- he's a showoff!

NCHO: I prefer the term "performer" myself, but-

CHWK: You know what? Screw you, you egotistical ass in a hat! You've gotta go around flaunting your magic and your combat skills while I, an up-and-coming mage, have to struggle with my own magic! Once, just once, you could help me out, but NO! All you're doing is making yourself look better! You know what? I wouldn't care if you died!

{Silence.}

BLUE: Ouch. Harsh.

CHWK: Yeah, I said it! You wanna stop me?

NCHO: {somber} ... No, you go ahead. I know when one is on my bad side.

{NCHO lowers the brim of his hat.}

NCHO: Come, come. We must head to Provoka.

{NCHO walks along the path.}

CHWK: Yeah, it's about time he shut up.