Doggie Emails/stick

{Cut to doggie, looking at his reflection in the monitor, realizing his unique identity once again. After a few moments of profound contemplation, he begins typing in:

Doggiemai

{A knock resonates from the door. A second knock. Doggie walks over to the door and wimpers, pawing at the door.}

NACHOMAN: {walking up to the door} Oh, is that a visitor? How nice. {NachoMan turns the knob slowly but firmly. The door opens to a man by the name of Chwoka. NachoMan gives a slight puzzled look}

{Dinoshaur comes in real quick and places his bawlz firmly on the doorknob.}

CHWOKA: Hello. {Chwoka grabs the doorknob and closes the door on himself.}

{Dinoshaur's bawlz fly into the next room where Bluebry is.}

DINOSHAUR: MAH BAWLZ ACCIDENTLY IN YO FACE!

BLUEBRY: Dinoshaur I am recycling your bawlz.

{A clunk is heard and Dinoshaur dives into the next room do save his bawlz.}

{NachoMan looks back at doggie inquisitively, as if to wonder what just happened. Doggie opens his mouth as if to explain}

THECHEESE: {running down the stairs} No, wait! I want the punchline! {doggie shrugs} Okay. {looks at the camera} How's that for a cameo? {Laugh track}

BLUEBRY: {walks in, holding kittie} Hey, guys. What's all the commotion? {He begins petting kittie slowly but firmly.} Kittie, you feel very nice today.

KITTIE: {looking up} Meow, purr.

DOGGIE: {eyes glassy, he stares at kittie for a few moments, realizing how nice she looks. Kittie glances at doggie. Their eyes meet. Doggie instinctively turns away}

NACHOMAN: Hey, doggie. Stop fooling around. Don't you have an email to check?

AUDIENCE: {starts wooping and applauding loudly as NachoMan smiles at them}

DOGGIE: {opens mouth as if to explain that he was about to start, but was interrupted}

THECHEESE: Doggie! There isn't a moment to spare! Here, I'll help you! {TheCheese scoops doggie up and carries him to the computer.}

KITTIE: Meow, purr.

{Doggie turns his head at his supportive, wonderful family, and fully appreciates their affection. With an assuring nod, doggie turns his head and opens his email}

Dear Doggie,
Pull that stick out of your ass.
-

{Doggie scans the email. From the reflection on the computer screen, we see his eyes widen after a few seconds.}

DOGGIE: {opens his mouth as if to express disgust when the door flies open. George Clooney walks in in scrubs}

CLOONEY: DOGGIE! DON'T SAY A WORD! DOCTOR SITCOM WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. {he stands triumphantly in front of the computer as girls hoot in the audience.} Doggie, do you remember that fateful frisbee game?

{Doggie fights back tears and nods sadly}

DOCTOR SITCOM: Well, for the fans, it all started when doggie was still a puppie. I remember Bluebry and I (They were buddies at UCLA) took puppie to the park to play frisbee and cure polio...

{The screen shifts to a sepia-colored display of puppie, Bluebry, and Dr. Sitcom throwing a frisbee in a field.}

DOCTOR SITCOM: Go long, puppie!

{puppie rolls around, chases butterflies, and does other adorable things before running out to the other end of the field}

DOCTOR SITCOM: Hi-yah! {the audience gasps as the camera catches the shot in slow motion. Puppie slowly leaps up to catch the frisbee}

BLUEBRY: {in a slow-motion voice} He's gonna get it!

{Suddenly, there is a shot of a horrible beast coming from behind a tree. The camera zooms in on the beast's torso, revealing a T-shirt that says "I am a third gen from the future!" The beast pulls out a stick from behind him and places it on the ground right where puppie is about to land. The crowd gasps as puppie falls lower and lower, until he is almost touching the stick.}

{The scene abruptly changes back to a teary-eyed Dr. Sitcom}

DOCTOR SITCOM: Some people are just so hateful and jealous. I'm sorry for putting you through that, doggie. We can get through this when we have each other. {Doctor Sitcom and doggie share a hug.}

{The camera zooms up to the staircase, showing TheCheese, NachoMan, and Bluebry all watching in awe, teary eyed.}

DOCTOR SITCOM: {looks up} Come down here, guys. We forgive you for eavesdropping. We love you too. {TheCheese, NachoMan, and Bluebry walk down the stairs and share a beautiful group hug with Dr. Sitcom and doggie.}

THECHEESE: {wiping tears away} Go on, doggie. You have an email to finish. {Doggie nods and walks over to his computer and begins typing, unable to speak from the moment he just experienced}

Well, I don't understand why you would bring up a painful memory such as that. However, I learned that forgiveness is a beautiful thing, and I forgive you. We all make mistakes. It is our flaws that truly make us wonderful beautiful people.

Love,
Doggie

{The camera fades out to a shot of the group hug from earlier.}