Demented Detectives/1

{open to Badstar's apartment. He and Bell are sitting on a couch, watching The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya}

BADSTAR: {Voiceover} Hey there. I bet you're wondering who those two are. Well, that's me. And that guy with the bell head? That's my friend, Bell. Ya wanna know something interesting? This apartment... isn't my real home. I actually live in a mansion. A giant mansion! So, what am I doing here? Well... I was running low on money. Really low on money! I could even lose my mansion! So... I had to get a job. Thus, I discussed an idea with Bell. Thus, we both opened a business. What business, you may ask? Well... you'll see.

BADSTAR: Hey, have you always wondered about Haruhi's sexual preference?

IM A BELL: ...I, uhh, hmm... No, not ALWAYS.

BADSTAR: I don't really know if she's lesbian or not... maybe she's bisexual.

IM A BELL: ...Many internet nerds will try to prove you wrong, but much more will prove you right.

{Cut to the TV. All the main characters are doing the Hare Hare Yukai dance, thus meaning the episode is over}

IM A BELL: Alright, it's over. So, now what do we do?

BADSTAR: I think its time we opened up the agency.

IM A BELL: The what?

BADSTAR: ...The agency.

IM A BELL: ...What agency?

BADSTAR: .....OUR DETECTIVE AGENCY. THE ONE WE STARTED SO WE CAN RAISE MONEY SO I DON'T LOSE EVERYTHING I OWN.

IM A BELL: Oh yeah. Right.

BADSTAR: ...Let's just go.

{cue opening theme. Cut to The B² Detective Agency building}

BADSTAR: Well, here we are. ...Do you have the key?

IM A BELL: ...DAMMIT, I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS FORGETTING!

BADSTAR: SONUVA-... how are we gonna get in!?

IM A BELL: Hmm... I'll pick the lock! {walks up to the door, bends down so that the base of his bell-head is as high as the lock}

BADSTAR: I have a bad feeling about this.

IM A BELL:{a tentacle stretches out from under his bell-head and into the lock}

BADSTAR: Okay, now slowly twist it...

{the tentacle twists around in the lock. A clicking is heard}

BADSTAR: Okay, now lets go in. {Badstar opens the door and walks in}

IM A BELL:{gets up and follows Badstar}

BADSTAR: {Sits down in desk} Now... we wait.

{Suddenly, a small man(?) walks into the room. He is wearing a fedora and long coat that covers most of his(?) features.}

?????: ... You the detectives?

BADSTAR: Hm? Oh, why yes! I'm Badstar Strunner and this is Imothy Bellstrom! How may we help you sir?

?????: I've got a problem I need solving. A friend of mine... Monroe's his name. He committed suicide... and I think there's something that persuaded him to kill himself. I need you to find out what.

BADSTAR: Okay, sir. But... could you remove the question marks from your name first?

?????: ...Must I?

BADSTAR: Yes.

?????: ...I don't want to.

BADSTAR: ...Do it.

P: Just call me P. I'd like my identity to remain... secret.

BADSTAR: Oooooookay then! Where do you want us to investigate?

P: ...You know, I forgot. Let me think...

BADSTAR: {Slaps forehead}

P: Er, tell you what. I'll leave and when I remember what I wanted to talk to you about, I'll come back. {walks out of the agency}

IM A BELL: ...What a strange man.

{OOC: Badstar, I think it would be a good idea to show a little bit about the agency before we show any detective work.}

BADSTAR: Well, we should probably wait for him...

IM A BELL: ...Yeah, probably.

{Cut to a while later. P walks in.}

P: Well, after a solid hour of drinking and thirty minutes passed out on my couch, you should probably investigate my friend's house.

IM A BELL: ...And where is that?

P: FFFFFFF

{Cut: Monroe's apartment.}

P: There.

IM A BELL: Okay... {kicks the door in}

{The door is locked and Bell's legbone shoots straight through his knee.}

IM A BELL: ...DAYUM.