(even if you aren't vegan)
Dave's Hollywood Stardom/Eps/2
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DIRECTOR: The next film is... Planet of The Apes!
DAVE: Woo.
DIRECTOR: Get ready, ape.
{Cut to film set.}
DAVE: I'M AN APE! Actully, I'm a mongrel.
DIRECTOR: CUT!
{Cuts}
DAVE: I'M APE!
IDIOT: I'm human. Let me go!
DAVE: Your not human, your stupid.
{Dave falls over.}
{Cuts again}
DAVE: I'M AN- Hi, I'm Dave Davidson here to tell you about the horror of wet floors. 6 billion mongrels trip on wet floors every day.
DIRECTOR: CUT!
{Cuts again.}
DAVE: I'm an ape!
IDIOT: I'm human! Let me go!
DAVE: NEVER!
DIRECTOR: Perfect!
DAVE: I'm hungry {eats the film.}
DIRECTOR: DAMMIT
