Confessions/16

Strong Sad, if you would please translate the oncoming gibberish?

DAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaa...

Yes, I bludgeoned him. A bit funny, don't you think? One non sequitor champion killing another?

Well, that's exactly why I killed him. Cardgage was a great friend of mine. We would meet up, and talk in gibberish daily. Oh, we were closer than anyone else here.

Then came along the non-sequitor championship. This was a local contest that gave the winner 100 dollars a month for a year. No one would hire me, so I needed to win this contest.

I found out Senor Cardgage came up with one that would undboutedy make him the winner: "You might paste away if you Dinty Moure." That may not seem like much, but it would take my house and food away from me.

I knew I had to get rid of him, so I decided to talk him out of it. I asked him to go to Strong Bad's house. I followed him inside, to try and talk him out of the contest. He just flat out said no, and walked away. That's when I saw the microphone.

At that point, there was nothing to it. I followed him into the basement, and bashed his brains out.

I thought a fake suicide note would take all suspicion away from us. If only I'd remembered to write it in English...