Con email.exe/83

Summary

Conchris answers more than one email

Cast in order of appearance:

Page Title: Email 83

Transcript

Email 1: Some Kinda Website

CONCHRIS: Instead of doing one email, I think I should do TWO emails.

Dear Conchris,
Your website is now fully functional.
<font color=blue><u>Click here</u></font> to access it.
Search for help in our FAQ.
Yours truly,
Dinoshaur of NearlyFreeWebsites

CONCHRIS: Now to answer this without any plot whatsoever. Maybe I should check this thing out.

CONCHRIS.COM

---

This is your new webspace, we applied the normal template for you.

CONCHRIS: Oh yeah? Well, I will make some changes...

{Cut to a Time Card, which says 5 minutes of broken HTML later}

CONCHRIS.COM

It's dot net!

---

Helscome to my webspace! It's not done but I can lead you around:
E-mail
I told you it's not done.

CONCHRIS: Well, that's what I didn't expect but... yeah. What was Strong Bad's website advice?

{Cut to Strong Bad's Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: You need lots and lots of animated GIFS {pronounces it as Gifs} or GIFs {pronounces it as Jifs}.

{Cut back to wherever}

CONCHRIS: Animated GIFS! Of course!

{Cut to another time card, which says "5 minutes of Failed Uploading later"}

CONCHRIS.COM

It's dot net!

---

Look at the shiny GIF! LOOK AT IT!!!1111

Helscome to my webpage! It's not done.
E-mail
Host

CONCHRIS: Perfect. Now I can burn people's eyes out with it!

{Cut to The Cheat's computer room, The Cheat is on NearlyFreeWebsites, Conchris' Page}

THE CHEAT: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH! {eyes start burning as in a flame coming up from them}

{Cut to Homestar's House, he is using Conchris' Lappy 600C for some reason}

HOMESTAR: I don't feel anything. {pause} AHHHH! MY EYES! THEY BURN!

{Cut back to wherever}

CONCHRIS: I hope I've got some people's eyes burning. Anyway, onto the NEXT EMAIL!

Email 2: Ghost

Dear Conchris,
You killed me and now I'm coming back 
to haunt you!
Conril's ghost

CONCHRIS: Haunt? Me? Ha! What a bunch of...

{Conril's ghost appears}

CONCHRIS: AH! {falls over}

CONRIL: {in a posh accent} My work here is done.

{Conril disappears, Forest comes on-screen}

FOREST: What are you doing? Being an idiot as usual.

{Crickets start chirping}

CONCHRIS' GHOST: What the? Why am I a ghost? Am I... {gulps} dead?

VOICEOVER: Not likely, it'll take a few emails to restore you, hope you like scaring because your first scare has just came in.

CONCHRIS' GHOST: Wait... How many emails?

VOICEOVER: You know... 3 emails.

CONCHRIS' GHOST: CURSE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

{Cut to the talk page, Conchris is normal, he wakes up}

CONCHRIS: Phew! I thought I was going to be a ghost for 3 emails.

VOICEOVER: Eh... I'll knock you out for three emails instead. {Conchris falls over again}

Part 3: The ending of Email 83

FOREST: Guess I will be taking over.

VOICEOVER: OH NO YOU DON'T!

{Forest falls down on the floor}

VOICEOVER: Guess I'll let Chrionroar check emails for 3 emails.

CHRIONROAR: YAY!

{The paper comes down, with the words "Click here to email Conchris, I mean, Chrionroar."}

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The website Conchris has created is now a real HTML document, the link to it is here. (Yeah, it uses 5Gigs Free Subdomain Hosting but who cares?)

References

• NearlyFreeWebsites is a reference to FreeWebs, a free website hosting service.

Remarks

• Despite the 3 emails knockout, Conchris seems alive and well in those three emails, which contradicts what the voiceover said.

Author's Comment

4/5 - Better than my last one.

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