Choom Wikihood/5

In this episode, the choom faggots decide to celebrate the birth of Jesus even though they're all Satan-worshiping demons. Noid is upset about this. The Mu stays home and listens to Snowing.

Transcript

{A light snow is falling on Choom Enterprises. The windows are all dark, except for one in which the dim outline of a Christmas tree can be seen. We see inside, all the doors of each Choom's rooms are closed, and loud snoring is heard. Entering NOID's room, we see he is sound asleep, a puddle of drool on his pillow. Suddenly, he is jolted awake by an unseen force. He hoists his self up and sees a terrifying specter hovering over his bed.}

NOID: Aieeeee! Be gone, spirit! Please, harm me not!

SPIRIT: Coin "Noid" Perry, it is my duty to take you through your life, and allow you to see your past Christmases.

NOID: But, why?

SPIRIT: I dunno, it's just something we do.

{Noid takes the spirit's hand and they glide into the sky. Noid is whisked through a portal of cheesy effects and lands in a shoddily-furnished apartment some time in the 90's. Noid and the spirit are semi-transparent, and see a young Noid by the tree, frantically opening a large package.}

NOID: Hey, it's me! Look, I'm opening my first Sega Ge--

SPIRIT: SILENCE! Watch...

{Young Noid squeals with excitement as he sees his game console. He picks it up, when suddenly his father's hairy arms pick him up and take him off screen. Lil Noid's screams of pain and the sounds of molestation are heard. Noid winces.}

NOID: I... I don't remember this..

SPIRIT: No time to talk! We must move on!

{Another whirl of effects later, we see the two standing in the living room of Choom Inc. with Noid sitting on the couch. He's holding a little bowl of popcorn on his lap and is chewing slowly. Bluebry approaches and sits down uncomfortably close. He puts his hand on Noid's leg.}

BLUEBRY: Mmmm..

2nd NOID: {whispering} Please... stop...

BLUEBRY: You know you want it...

2nd NOID: I... {he begins to tear up}

NOID: What in the-?

SPIRIT: C'mon sonny! Let's get a move on!

{Once again they depart, and then arrive in the middle of a futuristic building. A hologram of a tree is in the corner, and it spazzes out occasionally. An elderly NOID is in a wheelchair, alone.}

NOID: I'm still not sure what I'm supp--

{A muscular doctor comes up from behind Elderly Noid and smothers him with a rag.}

OLD NOID: {muffled} MURSE! MURSE!

{He passes out, and the doctor wheels him into a nearby closet.}

SPIRIT: Oh, cripes! We gotta go, I have seven more guys to hit tonight!

{The spirit raises his arms and Noid is suddenly back in his bedroom. He looks around. He reaches for a glass of water by his bed and takes several sips. He puts it down and gasps for air. He weeps softly.}

more to come!