Chaos' Sides

Foreword

The following is a series of sides(whole scene selections from a show) that I've written. These are just bits and pieces and I have either little else for a script or nothing much more than an idea, and the scene is just a piece of it. I would love constructive criticism from you guys to help me strengthen just the one scenes before I know where to take the writing.

SIDE 1: UNTITLED

UNTITLED: This is a scene from a currently untitled piece. A young entrepreneur with a genius level IQ gets in a fight with his wife. The morning after, he hires a psychiatrist, who offers to help him with his trouble for a substantial fee. What the young man doesn't realize is that he signed a contract literally allowing the psychiatrist to live with him and watch him live his life day by day. He now has to hide this annoyance from his wife while he tries to get down the the core of the problem. The following scene is the first night in which the psychiatrist is analyzing the man. Due to the complexity of the play and the fact that the idea is so fresh in my mind, none of these characters have formal names, and probably won't for a while. In place, I've used numbers for their names: 1 for the entrepreneur, 2 for the psychiatrist, and 3 for his wife. All to keep it simple.

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{Scene: "1"'s apartment. The lights are all off and he and the "2" are the only ones present. He is hard at work on a computer with a large quantity of beverages surrounding him.}

1: {wiping sweat from his brow)There, almost finished fixing this damned computer. {takes a sip of what appears to be coffee}

2: What's that you're drinking?

1: Irish coffee. Want some?

2: Wait, if you're almost finished, then why are you keeping yourself up with coffee and alcohol? Together no less?

1: I'm allowed to relax when I'm home from a long day of work.

2: Ever think this contributes to your poor relationship with your wife?

1: Ever think you have little reason being in my house this late at night?

2: I'm only here to help, you know. Maybe this has something to do with it?

1: No, because the fights started happening just last month, and we've been together for, oh I don't know, four years now?

2: {writing in notebook} Subject is ignorant to concept of alcoholism...and probably suffers from shoddy memory.

1: I hate it when you do that!

2: What? Tell you the truth? Obviously the man who can light fire knows what it can do to him.

1: Tell that to the first caveman.

2: I'm trying to, but he's preoccupied with fixing a computer while being blind stinking drunk.

1: Okay, seriously. If you're just going to make snithe remarks I doubt I have to remind you where the door is.

2: All I'm saying is maybe she just caught you at the wrong time, when you were still erraticly drinking...

1: Look, this is always how our relationship worked. We both work long jobs that either make us tired or bored. So when we come home, sometimes we just want to sleep, we sometimes want to sleep...together. You know?

2: So when you don't want to sleep "...together", you get drunk and repair computers?

1: No, I take these jobs on the side.

2: To pay for the alcohol?

1: ...To pay for the bills. Look, are you sure you're here to help? You SURE you don't just want a little?

2: Trust me, I am a professional and shall carry myself as such.

1: So am I, but unlike you, I have a problem with being shit on.

2: What is that supposed to mean?

1: I'm my own boss when it comes to this, and if I want to drink myself stupid then I have every right to, as an employee and as the boss.

2: {writing in notebook} Subject relates things he knows he cannot acquire reasonably or realistically to unpleasant experiences. Problem with authority.

1: Okay, I guess I deserved that one.

2: So, what's the problem with the computer?

1: Hmm? Some old bag's husband went wildly clicking around the internet and picked up some virus. I'll know when I've gotten rid of the virus. Her grandkids use the computer all the time so she wants to ensure it's idiotproof and clean.

2: How so?

1:Well, if I successfully get rid of it, then when I open up Firefox...{clicks a button and recoils in horror, almost gagging} Oh god that is disgusting.

2: I take it you didn't get rid of it? {raises head to look at the screen} Mercy.

1: Nope. That's a porn ad.

2: {sarcastically} Didn't notice.

1: Thanks, numbnuts.

2: Don't try to put me down and impress her, it's just a picture on the computer.

1: Pfft, I'm not that gullible.

2: But you WOULD hit on her if she were real. Just shows what you're willing to do when you're drunk.

1: I am not drunk!

2: {writing in notebook} Subject is a compulsive liar.

1: Look, I know you live a sheltered life of something, but this is a computer. And an old one at that. I would dare say it's older than the crone that gave it to me. Surely you've used a computer before?

2: ...Well, no. I mean, I hate to sound like a prude or a closet case...

1: You've never used a computer?

2: I haven't done a lot of things.

1: Of course not. {short pause} Would you like to try?

2: ...Would I like to try to use a computer that spams porn ads at me? No. No thank you.

1: Oh please, I'll fix it before I let you near it...

2: Maybe you'd be better at fixing it if you put your booze down.

1: {obviously frustrated, and getting increasingly louder where appropriate} Look, I can respect that you're some sort of creep and you probably haven't seen a nude woman until just now, but not that can't use a computer to save your poster-child life. You have a serious pair of nuts, coming into my house unannounced and taking up all of this unwanted space and making me go even more fucking insane then I already am after drinking not one, but three irish coffees because my wife doesn't love me enough to let me share the same breathing room as her when she puts her fat head to a pillow even though I'm the breadwinner, and You can't even-

{The lights raise to reveal "3" has awoken, but stands behind the door. "1" stops in place, conveniently obscuring "2" from his field of view.}

3: Hon, is that you? Are you okay? Who are you yelling at?

1: Huh? I'm not doing anything, I'm just watching Law & Order at max volume. I'll turn it down.

3: Thanks. {short pause} Honey, do you want to come to bed with me?

1: Little late, don't you think? How about tomorrow?

3: It's a date. Just uh, do me a favor? Stay off the drink.

1: Of course, honey. Love you!

{No response. The lights dim.}

1: ...You know, maybe I can spend some time without hitting the drink.

2: Good! We've already made progress.

1: Yeah, now all I have to do is pay for another three months of psychiatry.

2: Why's that?

1: Because obviously you're doing something right.

2: {writing in notebook} Subject is open-minded believes strongly in trial and error.

1: Just go to sleep already.