Brooks: A Life in Five Acts

Act I

A middle aged man stood on his boat.

A fishing rod was in his hand.

His sultry wife came out of the cabin and kissed him on the cheek.

"Honey," she said, "I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I...I'm sleeping with your brother."

The man turned to face his wife, expecting tears in her eyes.

There were no tears.

The man pushed his wife to the deck.

He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

He produced a bat from his closet.

He swung at his wife, hitting her in the face.

He did this until she was on the floor.

The wife started laughing.

"You think this is funny?" he asked in outrage.

"Yes." the wife answered.

The man swung at her. She caught the bat and hit the man with it.

She started taking off her makeup and wig, exposing herself as a man.

The man produced a knife from his pocket.

He slashed the other man in the throat three times.

When the boat had docked, the body was buried next to that of his wife's on the beach.

Act II

Brooks sat in a McDonald's booth, admiring his number 7 hamburger.

The warm patty, soft bun, crisp lettuce, delectable tomato slices...

And then the ketchup, so thick, so warm.

Brooks raised the hamburger to his mouth.

He took a long sniff in.

He sighed with satisfaction and took a juicy bite into the burger.

His taste buds trembled at the taste.

Brooks continued eating his meal, and went on his way.

Act III

Officer Oglesby sat in his patrol car, driving along the road.

A homeless beggar ran in front of his car, and Officer Oglesby, too distracted by the woman showing too much of her body walking down the corner, hit him.

Officer Oglesby ran out of the car and held up the beggar.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

The beggar turned his face to officer Oglesby.

"Just peachy." he said.

The beggar quickly stabbed Officer Oglesby and threw him in the back of his cop car.

He took off his fake beard, revealing himself to be Brooks.

"We're going on a trip, officer!" Brooks said.

Act IV

Brooks was standing in line at the ATM.

A man was talking loudly in front of him.

A teenager, almost certainly under some influence, was behind him.

The line did not move for six minutes and twelve seconds.

The talking man was in front.

He stayed there for forty-three seconds.

It was Brooks's turn.

Brooks fished through his pocket and pulled out a leather wallet.

And out of that, he pulled a flat, 20 dollar bill.

Brooks stuck the dollar in the slot.

He then pulled a white sock out of his pocket.

Several coins fell out of the ATM.

Brooks scooped them up into the sock and went on his way.

Act V

Brooks was in his basement.

Oglesby was tied upside down to a pole.

Brooks paced around him, admiring his naked body.

He then took out the sock and swung at him.

Oglesby screamed in pain.

Brooks continued to torture him, laughing with glee.

He heard a knocking on his door upstairs.

"I'll be right back," Brooks said.

Brooks went upstairs and found a girl scout on his doorstep.

She was offering cookies.

Brooks examined her as much as he could.

He then bought some cookies and sent her on her way.

Brooks shut the door, cookies in hand.

Turning the corner, somebody jumped out behind him.

Oglesby hit him in the back of the head with the sock.

Brooks fell to the floor, dropping the cookies everywhere.

Oglesby picked up a lamp and beat Brooks with it.