Bizarre

{cut to Bizarre behind the counter of a CVS Pharmacy. A young girl walks in, head slightly hung, looking nervous, and approaches Bizarre. He notices her weakness and sadness in her body language}

GIRL: Hi, I-

BIZARRE: {notices a rather unfortunate smell on her breath} Gin and tonic?

GIRL: {hesitates for a moment} ...Yeah.

BIZARRE: Demonic.

GIRL: I...I know. My body-

BIZARRE: {softly} smells like vomit...

GIRL: {her voice becomes more serious and determined} Can I get some...downers?

BIZARRE: Drugs kill.

GIRL: {sarcastically} Yeah, right.

BIZARRE: {he mutters a word under his breath} I'm for real!

GIRL: I just, need a couple uppers, I guess.

BIZARRE: {taken aback} Girl, you got Bizarre actin' ill.

GIRL: I just really want some-

BIZARRE: Look. I took a couple uppers. I've downed a couple downers...

GIRL: ...Oh. I'm sorry. Maybe I should...speak to someone else.

BIZARRE: Okay. {speaking into a walkie-talkie} Marshall, we have a customer out here.

{Marshall comes out}

MARSHALL: {replacing Bizarre behind the counter} How can I help you?

GIRL: I need...a couple uppers.

MARSHALL: {hesitates} That's dumber than Vanilla Ice tryin' to rap again.

GIRL: Well, maybe some shro-

MARSHALL: Those make you hallucinate, and sweat until you start losing weight. You don't want that. Look, let me have you talk to someone. {talking into a walkie-talkie} Proof, maybe you should take this over. {Marshall leaves and Proof comes out and replaces Marshall behind the counter}

PROOF: Hello there.

GIRL: I...need some pill-

PROOF: ...No you don't. Look, pop pills, pills I've popped. I thought it was so incredible, I killed the Hulk. But look, It's not.

GIRL: I know. I just need somethi-

PROOF: I've taken a couple uppers, I've downed a couple downers.

GIRL: Really?

PROOF: But, nothing compares...to these blue and yellow purple pills. They're organic antioxidants. {holds out blue and yellow purple pills} They'll clean your body, and get you back on track. Please, stay away from those evil things you took before.

GIRL: {taking them} ...Thank you. Can I...come talk to you again if I need to?

PROOF: Of course, you can talk to any of us.

GIRL: Well, how will I know who I can talk to? How many of you are there?

PROOF: Well, Dirty Dozen, 80 of us, Shady brothers, and ladies...like you...love us.

GIRL: Oh, well thanks.

PROOF: Please, come again. I'm always happy to help.

{the girl exits}