Bittersweet city/1

About

Rita and Marissa have a battle of wits. Casey bets Brian she can fit half of a pizza in her mouth.
CAST: Rita, Casey, Brian, Marissa
SETTING: The living room, the kitchen, the dining room, the office

Transcript

{the screen opens up to a room with burgundy carpeting and bookshelf walls. Rita is sitting on a dark brown armchair, brian and casey sitting on a similar couch. Marissa is lying down on the floor. Casey, brian, and marissa had completely bored expressions on their faces.}

RITA: ...and thats why I think that all ice cream should be pistachio fla-

{a doorbell is hear ringing. casey and brian stumble to their feet, rushing out of the room.}

BRIAN: Oh boy, the pizza man!

CASEY: See ya, dorky!

{as the two walk offscreen, Marissa stands up}

MARISSA: It's cute how you can act smart and think you're right.

RITA: {angered} Ey! You haven't given a single counterargument!

MARISSA: Ice cream does not have chlorine in it.

RITA: That was an example, and you know it.

MARISSA: Call in Casey. She heard you talking.

CASEY: {yelling} No, I didn't!

RITA: See? I told you!

MARISSA: Either way, you know I'm the smarter one here.

RITA: {giggles} That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

MARISSA: {smug} Really? Why don't we ask who's smarter?

RITA: Ha! This'll be good.

{Cuts to the kitchen, a room with wooden cabinets and counters, a large white stove, and black/white checkerboard tile floors. Brian cuts a boxed pizza in half. Marissa and Rita begin walking in.}

BRIAN: So, I get the full ten bucks if you can't eat half a pizza in one bite.

CASEY: Ya got it!

RITA: Idiots.

MARISSA: {sighs, facepalms}

{cuts to the dining room, a room whit peach walls, off white floors, and a dark brown wooden table. Marissa and Rita walk in, and sit across from each other.}

RITA: Obviously, the lack of intelligence in the apartment ruins the chances of any one here being a 'jugde'.

MARISSA: There are a few people...

{marissa leans over, and opens a cabinet behind her, revealing a stack of board games. Rita opens her mouth, and holds up her hand}

MARISSA: No, they aren't. It was figurative.

RITA: So, we play for a while, and see who wins the most?

MARISSA: Of course not. We play harmonicas, and the smarter of us will will them to life.

RITA: Go {the screen flashes to black for a second, while the word 'mercy' flashes on screen with a loud monotone beep} yourself.

{the screen changes to a stair case like board on the table. A blue pawn and a red pawn stand next to each other on it. Rita rolls a die, and move the blue pawn to the space about the red pawn. Marissa draws a card from a small yellow deck of cards.}

MARISSA: The word 'erinaceous' means...

RITA: Like a hedgehog.

{marissa swats the deck of cards. For a second, the screen is completely obscured by the back of the yellow cards. the cards fall to show them playing a game with a monopoly-like board. Rita has a dolphin shaped token. Marissa rolls a die, and moves a pufferfish shape token.}

MARISSA: The microorganism GFAJ-1 is well known for feeding on...

RITA: Botunilum!

MARISSA: Sorry, arsenic.

RITA: Damnit!

{{the screen fades to the kitchen, where Brian is leaning on the counter, eating a piece of pizza. He's watching Casey pounding a piece of pizza with a potato smasher.

BRIAN: How is pounding the pizza gonna help.

CASEY: You'll see.

{cuts back to the dining room. There is now a game on a scale-like object. rita puts a piece on the end facing her. The board leans back and forth, before balancing out.}

RITA: {smugly} So, who's winning?

MARISSA: {picks up a notebook.} We're tied. And there's only one game left.

RITA: {pleading} Can we please not play that?

MARISSA: Sorry, but it's the only game left.

{marissa turns around, and drops a purple box on the table.}

MARISSA: Clue: insane edition. You start.

{cuts back to the kitchen. casey is crumpeling the pizza into a large ball. Brian sits with a bored expression on his face, looking ready to doze off.}

BRIAN: Can you just admit you can't ea-

CASEY: Shaddup!

{the screen turns back to the dinig room. A humongous game board is laid across the table. eighteen different colored pawns are on the board. Marissa rolls a die, and moves a purple piece into a room.}

MARISSA: I say Miss Mauve killed Mlle. Gold at tea time.

RITA: Ha! That's the worst accusation I've ever heard.

MARISSA: Then make a better one. {slides the die across the board}

RITA: {rolls the die, moves a peach pawn into another room.} I feel quite bad for mister Cherry. Strangled with garland and robbed of his money. What a shame.

MARISSA: I don't think so. Cherry is still alive and well.

{rita sighs. Marissa rolls the die again, and moves her pawn onto a red square. she draws a card}

MARISSA: {smiles slightly} You have to show me any coiled weapons you have.

RITA: Hrm. {takes three cards out of her hand, and gives them to marissa. As marissa jots something down in her notebook, rita rolls the die. she moves her object onto a red square, and raws a card.} W-well, you have to show me any sharp weapons.

{marissa throws three cards at rita as it they were boomerangs.}

{an image of a clock is shown, speedily going through times. a number of objects appear on screen for a moment to be crossed out. They are (in order):

• A teal pawn
• An umbrella
• A fireplace poker
• An old fashion telephone
• A light purple pawn
• A green circle
  

The screen goes back into the dining room after this, showing the two struggeling to stay awake.}

MARISSA: B-brian! Come here.

{Brian walks in, rubbing his eyes.}

BRIAN: What's your accusation?

MARISSA: I say that, because of him being black mailed, Mr. Ash, with help from Madam Rose, killed Mrs. Crabtree in the back yard at lunch time with the lamp. He then framed Miss Mauve for killing her in the wine cellar with the high heel.

BRIAN: {opens an envelope, looks at some cards in it for about two seconds} No. the accomplice was Gold.

MARISSA: Hey!

RITA: Why'd you ruin it for us? We were at that for hours on end!

BRIAN: Sorry, you both lost. your prize is giving me five bucks.

RITA: Aw!

BRIAN: Each.

RITA: But I- I {yawns} I... {dozes off.}

MARISSA: I concour. {closes her eyes, puts her head in her crossed arms.}

BRIAN: {sighs} Dangit, Casey!

{the screen fades to black}

Easter eggs

• None. Go home.

Fun facts

• The objects in the clue game were from multiple fan clue games.
• Erinaceous is a real word.
• This is the first real attempt Zoo has given to giving the characters definite personalities.