Bell Quest 3/1

{Open to heaven. Bell is sitting on a couch with Sarah. Carol runs in.}

CAROL: DADDY!

BELL: {hugging Carol} Hey, pumpkin! How was school?

CAROL: It was great! But...

BELL: But what, sweetheart?

CAROL: One of my arms fell off...

BELL: Wh-

{Bell suddenly realizes Carol has the head of Ryan Bluefox.}

BELL: {screams} Carol?!

{Bell turns to look at Sarah. She now has Raiku's head.}

BELL: {screams louder} SARAH?!

{Bell wakes up on the floor of his house. The cataclysm is going on outside. He gets up and looks around.}

BELL: Carol? Sarah? What the hell-

{Bell is interrupted by crunching and rustling noises. Unholy Tracy walks in from the kitchen, eating some potato chips.}

UNHOLY TRACY: These are some damn fine ch-BELL?

BELL: Tracy! What's going on? Where did Sarah and Carol go?

UNHOLY TRACY: Sarah's dead, jackass. And who the fuck is Carol?

BELL: Carol's my daughter!

UNHOLY TRACY: You don't have a daughter.

BELL: I was raising her in heaven! I was, I was just there...

UNHOLY TRACY: Pfft. How the hell do you raise a daughter in heaven? Wait, how did you get back here? I literally merged with your corpse like five minutes ago.

BELL: It... It was so real...

UNHOLY TRACY: What, heaven? Yeah, like you could get into heaven.

BELL: {simultaneously} It couldn't have been a dream... No...

UNHOLY TRACY: Come on, man. Let's- Bell?

{Zoom out to show that Bell has vanished. Unholy Tracy looks around, a little worried. He then looks at his chips, shrugs, and walks back into the kitchen, still eating. As he leaves, a crack in the air forms. Cut to a dark room with a large disc floating in the middle. A caption reads, "FIVE MINUTES AGO." The disc is displaying Bell and Tracy fusing into Unholy Tracy. Standing around the disc are several large monstrosities, watching the events.}

GOD #1: This is it! This is our chance!

GOD #2: What are you on about?

GOD #1: He's dead! We can get rid of Bell once and for all!

GOD #3: And how do you suggest we do that? You know how weaved into the timeline he is!

GOD #4: It would take millennia to regenerate the-

GOD #1: No, no! Look, it's easy! {taps the disc}

GOD #3: Don't touch that!

GOD #1: {simultaneously} Show us the timeline!

{The image on the disc changes to a folded up piece of paper. It unfurls to show a diagram covered in lines and curves. At the end of one line, there is a sticker of Bell affixed to it. The diagram pops out of the disc's screen and lays against it. God #1 reaches down towards the sticker and begins to peel it off.}

GOD #1: All we have to do is just peel the-

GOD #2: Stop that!

{As God #1 peels off the last pieces of the sticker, the end catches on the paper and tears a long strip of the paper off.}

GOD #4: Oh, fuck!

GOD #1: Shit, shit, shit!

{God #1 haphazardly slaps the Bell sticker back onto the timeline. The other Gods are panicking.}

GOD #1: I think I got it, I think I got it! Oh, me! Oh, me!

GOD #3: We're screwed, you jackass!

GOD #2: Do you realize what you've done?

GOD #1: Hold on, hold on, hold on! Chill, chill, chill!

{The commotion dies down.}

GOD #1: Maybe it'll be alright. Maybe nothing will happen.

{Cut to Bell's house in Wiki City, many years ago. Bell is holding his head and sobbing.}

BELL: I was just there... No...

{Bell opens his eyes, pauses, and looks around for a bit.}

BELL: Huh? Where... No, it can't be.

{Bell runs to a window and looks up at the sky.}

BELL: This is impossible.

{Bell spies a newspaper sitting on a side table. He grabs it and opens it. The title reads, "Conveniently Placed Times. August 5, 2008."}

BELL: 2008? That's centuries in the past. How did I get back here? Wait, what was I doing in August of this year?

{A door opens offscreen. Bell quickly hides behind a curtain. Bell, Sarah, Tracy, et al walk across the screen carrying luggage.}

DON SKULL: Yeah, motherfuckin' cruise, bitch!

TRACY: I'm gonna smoke so much marijuana on the cruise, you don't even know.

BLING: I have 12 bottles of cheap liquor stashed in my bag.

TRACY: Sick.

{The gang leaves and shuts the front door. Bell peeks out of the curtain and runs to the window. He watches himself and his friends drive off. Cut to a close-up of Bell's face.}

BELL: This can't be happening. I must be hallucinating.

{Bell rubs his eyes and blinks. His eyes widen. Cut to a shot from Bell's point of view. He is standing in the middle of a grungy city.}

BELL: {whispering} Oh my God. This is insane. Like, more than usual. {sees a liquor store} I think I need a drink.

{Cut to inside the liquor store. Bell is arguing with the cashier.}

BELL: Come on, man, this is legal tender.

CASHIER: Yeah, sure, pal. You expect me to accept money that says it was printed... {squints at Bell's cash} Seven hundred years in the future? I mean, what is this? There's a letter in the year!

BELL: We switched to that system in 205J after-

{Several screams and explosions come from outside. Bell turns around and runs to the window. Bell and Kuro are fighting in midair and slaughtering pedestrians.}

BELL: Did I really do this? I can't believe I was such a-

{Kuro fires an energy ball at the liquor store. Bell screams and recoils in fear. Cut to the field, in Free Country, USA. Pan over to Bell, still screaming. He stops, and looks around. He looks at the bottle of liquor still in his hand. Bell sighs, sits down, and opens the bottle.}

end of chapter 1