THE WUW IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
(even if you aren't vegan)

Bell Quest: Live And Reloaded/BQLR2

From Wiki User Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

{cut to a medieval town. The cast of BQ:L&R walk in}

BADSTAR: Where the crap are we?

TRACY: This is Ye Olde Town of Cwealm, the only known medieval town in this time period.

NINJA FOX: Cool! Is there mutton?

TRACY: I would think so.

NINJA FOX: WHOOOOOOOO!!! {Runs off}

TRACY: ...Freak.

GILLIGAN: ...MUTTON! {Runs off too}

TRACY: Once again, fr-{notices a groups of people led by a man wearing a crown}

{Bell and Tracy become really, really tall and they run up to the group of people}

MAN IN CROWN: Who are you?

BELL & TRACY: WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY "NI"!

BADSTAR: And I like mutton!

INNOCENT BYSTANDER: ...WHAT THE F-

{Bell accidentally steps on the innocent bystander}

BADSTAR: ...I'm gonna get some more mutto- {Is carried away by monks} WHAT THE CRAP!?

IM A BELL: HEY WAIT A MINUTE! {returns to normal size, he runs after Badstar}

{The monks carry Badstar into a really tall tower. The doors shut and lock themselves}

IM A BELL: ... {glances at camera, rips the doors off their hinges, walks in}

{The monks can be seen climbing up 100 plights of stairs. They take Badstar to the top of the tower}

IM A BELL:{runs up the stairs}

{Halfway up the stairs start collapsing behind Bell. Once bell gets off a step, it collapses}

{Bell eventually reaches the top of the stairs. The door to the top looks unbreakable}

IM A BELL: Hmph. {melts, slides under the door}

{cut to inside the top of the tower. Bell slides out from under the door and un-melts}

{Badstar is sitting on a throne}

MONKS: ALLL HAIL THE MUTTON KING!!!

IM A BELL: ...LOLWUT.

BADSTAR: Oh, hi Bell! Mutton?

IM A BELL: Uhh... No thank y-

{Tracy flies in from the window, holding a spear}

TRACY: DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE MONKS BADST-{smashes into the door, slides down}

BADSTAR: ... {Takes a bite out of mutton}

IM A BELL: ...Anyways, why are you a king, and why is it of mutton?

BADSTAR: Apparently, I'm the great great great grandson of the mutton king, who created mutton! Which is weird, since I'm just a lab experiment gone wrong and its impossible for me to have a grandfather.

TRACY: What? I thought you were the cousin of Homestar and Strong Bad. At least, according to the original Bell Quest.

IM A BELL: We do not speak of the original Bell Quest.

TRACY: But-

IM A BELL:{grabs some mutton, shoves it down Tracy's throat}

BADSTAR: {Takes another bite} Mmm... muttonlicious!

IM A BELL: Badstar, tell me. Why would you want to eat something cute? {warps up a sheep with a wellface}

BADSTAR: ...THIS IS SHEEP!?

IM A BELL: Yep. Mutton is sheep. You know, I would rather eat George Bush's undead corpse than sheep.

BADSTAR: ...FIND A NEW KING YOU STUPID, SICK, PEACE LOVING MONKS!!! {Jumps out window}

IM A BELL: ...That won't be necessary. {pulls out a large sword, puts some on the mutton on it, forces it down a monk's throat, repeats until he has killed all of the monks}

TRACY: ...Good. Let's go da-BELL.

IM A BELL: ...Whatever, Tracy.

TRACY: ...Wh-

IM A BELL: Shut up.

BADSTAR: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! {Lands on Ninja Fox}

{Badstar jumps off of Ninja Fox, who tries to get up, but Bell and Tracy land on him}

NINJA FOX: Ow... good thing I still have mutton...

IM A BELL: ...Mutton is sheep, you know.

NINJA FOX: Screw the sheep, I have money!

IM A BELL: ... FALCOOOOOOON... PUUUUUUNCH! {punches Ninja Fox in the... fox-nads, runs away}

NINJA FOX: OOOOOOWWWWW MY FOX BALLS!!!

{cut to Bellson, somewhere in the town}

BELLSON: ...Great, now I'm lost.

BLACK KNIGHT: YE SHALL NOT PASS.

BELLSON: ... {pulls out a sword, slices The Black Knight's arm off}

BLACK KNIGHT: Hmph! That is nothing but a mere flesh wound!

BELLSON: What? You're bleedin' arm's missing! ...And it appears you've bled to death. Hoorah. {starts walking away}

BLACK KNIGHT: Coward! Come back here and face! {Uses his right arm to sword fight}

BELLSON: ... {turns around, kicks the Black Knigts sword, causing it to flip over and slice off the remaining arm}

BLACK KNIGHT: Is that all you've got!? HA!

BELLSON: ...You lost both your arms! What's the point in fighting me?

BLACK KNIGHT: Another mere flesh wound! Come on! Have at you!

BELLSON: What, are you going to KICK me to death? Ha! {slices one of the Black Knight's legs off}

BLACK KNIGHT: ...That was nothing!

BELLSON: ...You are a very silly man and I really don't want to be near you.

BLACK KNIGHT: COWARD!!! {Hops, bumping into Bellson over and over} TAKE THAT! HA!!!

BELLSON: ... {slices the Black Knight's other leg off}

BLACK KNIGHT: ...Is that all! HA! Amateur!

BELLSON: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!!! {kicks the Black Knight into a tree}

BLACK KNIGHT: Come back here! I'll bite your bloody legs off!

BELLSON: ... {walks away}

{Meanwhile...}

{cut to Gilligan. He is walking down a street when an explosion occurs offscreen}

GILLIGAN: ...What the crap!?

{camera spins around to reveal a rather insane-looking guy holding some molotov cocktails}

INSANE GUY: GIVE ME YOUR BOOZE OR I'LL THROW ANOTHER ONE!

RANDOM PERSON: Wouldn't it be easier to just drink the booze inside the molotov cocktails, instead of making them explode?

INSANE GUY: ... {throws a molotov cocktail at the guy}

GILLIGAN: STOP RIGHT THERE, CRAZYMAN!

INSANE GUY: EH?! {throws a molotov cocktail at Gilligan, misses}

GILLIGAN: ... {Pulls out grenade launcher} Say bye-bye, ditch... {Fires}

INSANE GUY: ...WHAT THE FLYING F-{is disintegrated}

GILLIGAN: ...What just happ-

{Cut: Ninja Fox}

NINJA FOX: ...I'm booooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeddddddd....ddddddddd........d.

{A dragon flies by carrying a princess}

DRAGON: NYEHEHE! I HAVE GOT YOU, PRINCESS CLICHE!

PRINCESS CLICHE: AAHH!! HELP ME!!

NINJA FOX: Oh no! I have to pull off a cliche rescue and save that princess! {Runs after the dragon}

DRAGON: NYEHEHE! I HAVE TO LAUGH IN ALL OF MY LINES NYEHEHE!

NINJA FOX: {Throws a ninja star at the dragon}

DRAGON: NYEHEHOUCH! {breaths fire at Ninja Fox}

NINJA FOX: {Dodges} ...You suck at aiming.

DRAGON: THAT'S BECAUSE I'M A CLICHE! NYEHEHE!

NINJA FOX: {Fires grappling hook. The hook goes down the dragon's throat}

DRAGON:{explodes for no apparent reason}

{Princess Cliche lands on Ninja Fox}

NINJA FOX: {Catches princess cliche. Puts her down} I have saved you, princess cliche!

PRINCESS CLICHE: Yay!

{A king runs in}

KING: For saving my daughter you may have her hand in marriage!

NINJA FOX: ...Whoah, whoah, whoah! Marriage!? Listen, she's not really my type...

KING: ...Then why did you save her?

NINJA FOX: I'm a hero. Thats what heroes do.

KING: ...I don't understand. You saved my daughter from a dragon for no reason but pure kindness? What?

NINJA FOX: Its just what I do. She's not my type. I mean, sure, she has big... thingies, but still... not my type.

KING: You don't like Scots?

{OOC: HAY GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS}

NINJA FOX: ...Scot?

KING: ...I MEAN SHE'S SCOTTISH, YOU GIT!

{OOC: Actually, nevermind about the significance of her. It's a stupid idea (which was that she is Sarah).}

NINJA FOX: ...Git?

KING: IT'S A BRITISH CURSE WORD MEANING DUMBASS, YOU BLOODY GIT!

NINJA FOX: Oh... well up yours, fatty!

{A few moments later...}

NINJA FOX: {Thrown in dungeon}

KING:{offscreen} AND STAY THERE!

{camera pans over to show a creepy-looking guy beside Ninja Fox}

NINJA FOX: ... {Whimpers}

CREEPY GUY:{walks towards Ninja Fox} LEZ HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS THANG!

NINJA FOX: AAAAAAHHHH!!! {Knocks the creepy guy out.}

???: Psssssh...

NINJA FOX: Huh? {Looks at door} ...Princess?

PRINCESS CLICHE: Yes. It is me.

NINJA FOX: What are you doing here?

PRINCESS CLICHE: I'm here to help you escape.

NINJA FOX: Why?

PRINCESS CLICHE: Why NOT?

NINJA FOX: Good point. By the way, I'm getting tired of calling you princess cliche. Is there an ACTUAL name you go by?

PRINCESS CLICHE: Yes. My name is Sarah. Sarah McAllister.

{OOC: Yeah, now that I think about it, I will do this.}

NINJA FOX: My name is Kyubii. But if anybody asks, my name is NINJA FOX, ULTIMATE NINJA HERO!!!

KING:{offscreen} QUIET, PRISONER!

NINJA FOX: SORRY! Anyway, how are you going to get me out of here?

SARAH: This. {smack a brick on the wall, a door opens, leading outside}

NINJA FOX: Wow, thanks! But won't you get in trouble with your dad?

SARAH: I hate my father, and I hate this place. After I set you free, I'm gonna travel to the future!

NINJA FOX: Hey, good idea! You could even meet a nice guy! Who knows? Well, bye! {Exits}

UNHOLY TRACY:{warps in} Hi, there. I overheard your conversation, and I suggest you travel to this time and this place. {pulls out a piece of paper, hands to Sarah}

SARAH: Hmm... Okay! {leaves}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hehehe. {pulls out communicator} Timeline; Sealed.

CHAOS:{from communicator} Excellent.

{cut to Badstar}

BADSTAR: ...Okay, seriously, why are we here again?

TRACY: Well, we pass to go through- {point to a large metal gate} THAT gate to continue on our trip.

BADSTAR: ...Why the HELL didn't we do that earlier?

TRACY: We're all IDIOTS, that's why!

BADSTAR: True...

IM A BELL: Well, let's see who's here... Me, Badstar, Tracy...

BELLSON:{runs in} And Bellson!

IM A BELL: ...Right, Who else do we need to find?

{Gilligan and Ninja Fox run in}

IM A BELL: ...Okay, good. Is that all?

GILLIGAN: I think so.

IM A BELL: Excellent. Badstar, would you read the next location off of the map for us?

BADSTAR: Its... no.... i-it can't be.....

IM A BELL: What is it?

BADSTAR: The next place is.... {Gulps} ......Winner Labs..........

IM A BELL: ...What's so bad about Winner Labs?

BADSTAR: Because... Winner Labs........... is the home.... of my father...

IM A BELL: Your father was Homeschool Winner?

BADSTAR: ...Yes.

IM A BELL: ...Okay.

END OF CHAPTER 2!!!!!