Barry Bird Emails/life

summary: Barry Bird feels about his life and how it is.

CAST: Barry Bird, Boss Boo, the sharks

Scene: Computer Room, Workstation, Living room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: June 9, 2011

Transcript

BARRY: {singing to the tune of the American Dad theme song while typing "barrybirdemails.exe"} Good morning Email-A!

Subject: Life

Dear Barry,
How the hell is life going for ya?

BARRY: {types} Well, nobody, life's treating me well. why? Because I live life like this.

{scene cuts to the workstation}

BARRY: So, I said, get your paws off me, you damn dirty ape.

BOSS BOO: Um, what does this have to do with your work?

BARRY: Uh... it has to... um... do with... something. Oh, and remember the time I did a pointless cutaway gag. {offscreen} then, I did this for my life.

{scene cut to the living room as Barry plays F-Zero for the SNES}

BARRY: Come on, I have to win this crap! This crappity crap must crap itself! Hee hee hoo hoo! Wait a minute. {losing music plays on the TV} Aw... DAMNIT! I can't win the game. Only if I master myself with Sega tapes, that would be better.

{as scene cuts to the same room, but him playing Altered Beast for the Sega Genesis, losing music on the TV appears again}

BARRY: STUPID BEAVER! You STUPID beaver! Wait, it's a beast. Nevermind. {offscreen} Then I... um... oh wait.

{scene cuts back to the computer room}

BARRY: {types} Oh wait, my life may not be good. Well, it goes to show you that my life sucks. But hey, it's just my thing. My life is just me slacking off so that the boss would be pissed.

BOSS BOO: {comes in the screen} hey, what are you doing?

BARRY: Hey, I'm just going back to work.

BOSS BOO: You better! If not, you're freaking fired. IS THAT CLEAR?!

BARRY: Okay, okay. {as scene cuts to the fountain} Okay, let me see. If I can clean this fountain, I would get a raise. {cleans the fountain but the flock of sharks appear at the fountain} Okay, what the hell is that? How am I suppose to clean up this mess, but sharks came. I mean, is there any logic?

SHARK #1: Um no, but we are going to eat you.

BARRY: YOU STUPID BEAV... i mean shark.

SHARK #2: What did you call me?

BARRY: Uh, you looks pretty with your jaws.

SHARK #2: Get him!

SHARK #1: LETS!

BARRY: Uh... can I scream like a little girl and run away at the same time? Yes? Okay. AAAAAAAAH! {runs away}

SHARK #1: Hey, we were kidding! Aw great, there goes our fool.

{as scene cuts to the computer room}

BARRY: {types} Okay, so I hate my life. Even if I'm good at playing video games. And I almost got fired from him. i don't care, though, I can easily eat eggs more than Gaston. Watch! {throws eggs, but the eggs end up landing on his face} Oh crap!

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the word, "games" to see a scene where sharks play a video game.

{scene cuts to the living room with the sharks playing Altered Beast on the Sega Genesis}

SHARK #2: Oh that stupid beav... I mean, shark, I mean beast!

SHARK #1: You're not trying.

SHARK #2: Yeah, you're right. {sighs}

Fun Facts

• At the beginning, he is singing the American Dad theme song.
• Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape! is a line from the 1968 film, Planet of the Apes.
• The line, You Stupid Beaver! was also used in the movie, Freddy Got Fingered.