Barry Bird Emails/internet critic

summary: Barry Bird becomes an internet critic

CAST: Barry Bird, Really Reilly, Frankly Frank

Scene: Computer Room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: November 16, 2015

Transcript

BARRY BIRD: {types "barrybirdemails.exe"} Who needs an email intro right now?

Subject: Hey motherfucker!

You should be an internet critic.
You will be the next Doug Walker or the next
James Rolfe.
-Randy

BARRY: {types} Ooh, I dunno about that. I mean, WUW isn't a site where people have to review everything and make unnecessary subplots or plotholes. It's already bad enough.

{scene cuts to Barry in his Nostalgia Critic outfit, sitting in an empty room at the table, looking directly to the camera}

BARRY: Hello, I am the Bird Critic. I remember it, because tweet tweet. And now what I'm gonna do is SCREAM DIRECTLY TOWARDS THE CAMERA OUT LOUD THAT I MAKE TV TRASH SEEM LIKE HAPPY VIDEO GAME NERD! And tonight, we're reviewing the worst cartoon ever, because nobody touched it before. It's the one, the only, {scene cuts to a paper written in scribbles as} "Where the Dead Go to Die." {cuts back to Barry} I mean seriously, it makes Cool Cat look like Foodfight. WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK! PIECE OF COWABUNGA SHIT! TITTIES! So let's have a look-see.

{title card reads, "40 minutes of bitchfits and rage quits (followed by pointless cameos) later," as scene cuts back to him}

BARRY: So that was "Where the Dead Go to Die." And yes, it needs to fuck off and die! I don't need to explain how bad it is. I explained about the plot! It sucks! There. Subscribe, and give this video thumbs up, and share it to millions of people on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Vine, and Instagram, because I need more money, and I need you to donate at my Patreon because I am a prostitute. I'm the Bird Critic, and remember, I'm your next Cinema Snob.

REALLY REILLY: And cut! {stops filming as scene cuts to the birds eye view (get it, cause Barry is also a bird? am i rite?} Good job, let's upload it to YouTube. Millions of people will love it.

FRANKLY FRANK: Uh, I just uploaded it, and only three people disliked it.

{5 second pause}

BARRY: Frank you motherf-!

{scene cuts back to the computer room}

BARRY: {types} See? This is why I can't make reviews. I'm just not cut out for it.

NARRATOR: But TVB (aka: PTB) is.

BARRY: Shut up, Meg. {types} So if anything, I'm gonna upload some gameplay videos. Probably some pony FNAF hentai. Something! Anything! Probably the Top 10 Best Strong Bad Emails. {stops typing, 5 second pause} WAIT! THAT'S IT! {leaves the screen}

BOSS BOO: {offscreen} That's my camera you dingus!

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

Easter Eggs

• Click on the word, "Emails" at the end to see a bonus scene/

{scene cuts to an empty room with Really Reilly and Frankly Frank}

FRANKLY FRANK: So basically, we're gonna have a ton of dislikes in his Top 10 Best Strong Bad Emails countdown.

REALLY REILLY: Well, let's hope it's his opinion only.

FRANKLY FRANK: Don't you mean {snarks} an opi-onion?

{5 second pause}

REALLY REILLY: {looking unsatisfied} Get out.