Barry Bird Emails/frenchman

summary: Barry Bird finds a frenchman.

CAST: Barry Bird, Frenchman, Boss Boo

Scene: Computer Room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: June 10, 2011

Transcript

BARRY: {while typing "barrybirdemails.exe"} Well looky here, got an email to catch.

Subject: NO

Stop winking at me, you oversexed frenchman!
Mrs. Peacock

BARRY: {types} wait, who's a frenchman? In fact, what's a frenchman?

FRENCHMAN: {comes in the screen} Who are you talk about zee frenchman, Jerry Lewis?

BARRY: Um, hi? I was about to get back to work.

FRENCHMAN: Have you been using the email like a dog?

BARRY: No, why?

FRENCHMAN: because you've been talking crap about zee internet und zee lives of us.

BARRY: First of all, you have a French accent. I mean, really, can you at least talk clearly. Second of all, how am I talking crap to "zee" internet?

FRENCHMAN: Because you are zee bad boy on zee internet!

BARRY: Um, is that sex talk or is this an insult?

FRENCHMAN: It does not matter, zee life of breadstick is counting on ye.

BARRY: Please get away from me. {runs away out of the screen}

FRENCHMAN: Come back. I want to talk to ye.

{scene cuts to the living room}

BARRY: Okay. Gotta calm down and play some video games.

BOSS BOO: {comes in the screen} Oh hell no, what are you doing?!

BARRY: Playing Super Mario Bros. but I suck, I mean i'm not like the AVGN where he plays all bad video games like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

BOSS BOO: Okay, I want you to get-

BARRY: Let me interrupt you, because I have a problem with this frenchman. This frenchman follows me and before that, I received a mail from Mrs. Peacock.

BOSS BOO: Mrs. who now?

BARRY: Peacock, but anyway, he said that I was winking at her, when I wasn't. Just do me a big favor and keep away from that frenchman, will you?

BOSS BOO: {sighs} Alright, but if you screw it up, you're FIRED!

BARRY: Thank you, Boss Boo. {as Boss Boo leaves, he relaxes in his couch} Ah, yes, this is the life.

FRENCHMAN: {appears out of nowhere} Bonjour.

BARRY: Oh crap! Boss Boo!

BOSS BOO: I know, I have to keep away from the frenchman.

BARRY: Do it!

BOSS BOO: Okay, okay.

FRENCHMAN: what are ye doin?

BARRY: Your life is gonna be a living hell!

FRENCHMAN: Oh no. {runs away}

BOSS BOO: chase him!

BARRY: Me? No, I told you to-

BOSS BOO: Chase him or you're fired!

BARRY: Fine! {runs out of the screen}

BOSS BOO: Now to make stu.

{scene cuts to the field with Barry and the frenchman}

BARRY: You just pissed me off, Frenchy!

FRENCHMAN: Get away from zee frenchman.

BARRY: That's you, idiot! {catches the frenchman}

FRENCHMAN: Let go of me, ye crappy Lewis.

BARRY: Save the generic stereotyping for later.

{scene cuts to the computer room}

BARRY: {types} yes, I caught "zee" frenchman. I covered him with something, and that is bubblegum.

FRENCHMAN: {offscreen} Ow.

BARRY: Shut up.

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

Easter Eggs

• Click on the word, frenchman to see the frenchman get covered in bubblegum.

Fun Facts

• Jerry Lewis is a comedian from the '50s and today. He also dominated France during the late 1950s.
• Angry Video Game Nerd is an actual video game reviewer on ScrewAttack and on Cinemassacre.