Barry Bird Emails/crime and punishment

summary: There is an email if Barry could cause any crime without any punishment.

CAST: Barry Bird, Prison Guard, Really Riley, Boss Boo,

Scene: Computer Room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: June 16, 2011

Transcript

BARRY: {singing while typing, "barrybirdemails.exe"} You got the touch, you got the email!

Subject: punoɹɐ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ

Dear Barry,
If you could commit one crime without any remorse or punishment, what would it be?
Curious,
Zoo977██Miss Peach██Bill Yards██A person

BARRY: {typing} Well, if i could cause any crime, it would be difficult, you see. It's gonna be difficult just like that one time.

{scene cuts to Barry in jail and eating pizza at the same time}

BARRY: This is one hell of a life. Oh, someone's coming. {hides the pizza boxes and the pizzas}

{the prison guard comes in the screen}

BARRY: hello, what's going on in your neck of the woods?

PRISON GUARD: {comes in the screen} I know you, you're Barry Bird, right?

BARRY: Yes, why?

PRISON GUARD: You were my inspiration by checking emails. Wait, are you a ripoff?

BARRY: hell no!

PRISON GUARD: Okay. Just asking.

BARRY: {offscreen} and that other time...

{scene cuts to outside of the jail where Barry breaks the rocks}

BARRY: Rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks! Why me?

PRISON GUARD: {comes in the screen} Hey, you want to roll it out?

BARRY: Um... what?

PRISON GUARD: Nevermind, just finish what you got and you'll be free.

BARRY: Really? hell yes!

PRISON GUARD: Okay I'm kidding, you can't be free.

BARRY: CRAP!!!

{scene cuts back to the computer room}

BARRY: {types} Okay, so you're asking if I commit a crime, eh? Well, no worries. I will do the crime spree. Right now. Okay? goodbye. Woight! {leaves}

{scene cuts to the front of the park at night}

BARRY: {walks in the screen with Really Riley} Okay Really. We have until daytime to break in the boss' room. It will be a while if we didn't get anything.

REALLY: Uh, okay. What should I do?

BARRY: Bring me the cookie.

REALLY: How the freaking hell does that work?

BARRY: just bring me the damn cookie!

REALLY: okay! {runs to get the cookie and comes back with the cookie}

BARRY: Thank you. Now, let's do this b right now!

REALLY: What do you mean by B?

BARRY: Uh... me? Barry Bird? Bradley Cooper? Anyway, that's not important. Bring me some toilet papers.

REALLY: {runs and gets the toilet paper, and comes back with the toilet paper} I'm a quick S.O.B. huh? Whatever that means.

BARRY: Okay, three, two, o-

{Boss Boo enters the screen in anger}

BOSS: What the damn are you doing?

BARRY: Going to the bathroom?

BOSS: No, you are not!

BARRY: Wow, this guy is smart.

REALLY: i know, right?

BOSS: I'm calling the police.

REALLY: See what you did here?

BOSS: I know r-

BARRY: Stop saying, "I know, right?" okay, people.

{scene cuts to the jailhouse}

BARRY: Good gravy! i dunno what to do now.

REALLY; Well, how about we escape.

BARRY: Yeah, I won't follow that.

{scene cuts back to the computer}

BARRY: {types} Okay, so I committed a crime, but what can I say, i'm an outcast. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna watch myself cry in my sleep.

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

Easter Eggs

• Click on the word, "crime" in order for you to watch Barry Bird in jail.

BARRY: Uh, is this suppose to be real?

REALLY: Well, i'm real.

BARRY: Not you, smart ass.

Fun Facts

Too lazy to add them.