Badstar can riff too/GDDTV/8

About

Zero plot development? Just the way I like it.

Cast: Ert Plus, Mac, Alfonzo, Paco the Taco, Dan, Pete, Caity

Places: Dan's Apartment, Town Square

Date: February 21, 2009

Transcript

{Fade in to Dan's Apartment. Ert and Mac are sitting on the couch playing Wii}

ERT: You are so going down.

MAC: Kirby is beastly! You can't beat me when I'm Kirby!

{Alfonzo walks in to the room and into the kitchen. He stops, turns around, and stares at the other two}

ALFONZO: How did you guys get in here?

ERT: {Stands on the couch and shouts} The power of Eeeeeeee-maaaaaaiiiill!!!

{Awkward pause}

ALFONZO: Get out.

MAC: Will do!

ERT: Who-

ALFONZO: {Cutting him off} I swear to God if you finish that with "Who's Will?" I will shove a turkey down your pants and kick you two ways to Tuesday.

ERT: God speed!

{Ert and Mac both burst into flames and disappear}

ALFONZO: That was different...

{Paco walks in through the front door}

PACO: {Calling out the door} See ya later, Tito!

ALFONZO: Hey there, my Mexican comrade. What's up?

PACO: Hey, Alfonzo. Me and Tito were just hitting the slopes.

ALFONZO: You snowboard?

PACO: Totally.

ALFONZO: Wait... who's Tito?

PACO: My friend; Tito the Burito.

ALFONZO: There are more talking foodstuff in this town?!

PACO: Well duh.

{Dan walks in in his pajamas}

DAN: Hey howdy there, Paco. What's going on?

PACO: Not a whole heck of a lot. So, Alfonzo... what's this I hear about you dating?

DAN: Oh yeah. That. Alfonzo decided he wants his child to be the spawn of Satan.

ALFONZO: Are you ever gonna quit ripping on my girlfriend?

DAN: She's the girlfriend?!

ALFONZO: As opposed to...

DAN: I thought you were the female in the relationship.

ALFONZO: Mock all you want but whose the single one in the room?

DAN: Ha! See that's where we outnumber you. Me and Paco aren't tying ourselves down just yet, eh Paco?

PACO: What?

DAN: You and me are both single.

PACO: You mean you've never met Lia?

DAN: Who's Lia?

PACO: My girlfriend; Lia the Quesadilla.

ALFONZO: Of course she's a foodstuff. What next? Do you have a cousin named Carlos the Asparagus?

PACO: Come on. That's ridiculous.

ALFONZO: Well at least the madness stops.

PACO: His name is Clyde.

{Alfonzo slaps his forehead. The words "PLOT CHANGE" appear on the screen}

{Cut to Town Square; a nice little plaza surrounded by bushes with a fountain in the center. Pete is sitting on the edge of the fountain}

PETE: I wonder what Dan's doing right now.

{Ert runs in and jumps in the fountain}

PETE: {Turns around to the fountain} Can I help you?

ERT: {Peeking his head out of the water} Shh! Caity's on a rampage. I forgot to clean the house while she was visiting her cousin and now she is PISSED.

PETE: Oh boy. Well no worries, dude. I'll cover for you.

ERT: Thanks man. {Hides back underwater}

{Caity runs up to Pete}

CAITY: Pete. Have you seen my stupid boyfriend?

PETE: Can't say that I have.

CAITY: I'll give you five bucks.

PETE: Underwater.

CAITY: Thanks.

{Caity jumps into the fountain and pulls Ert out. Se starts beating him up when Mac runs up the fountain with no shirt}

MAC: They're here. Ignite the tractor beams! {He hisses then runs away}

CAITY: My brother's stupidity has made me forget why I was angry.

ERT: I forgot to clean the house. {Caity glares at him angrily} Why would I say that?

{Caity starts to beat him up again. Pete walks away}

{Cut to Dan's Apartment. Dan, Alfonzo, and Paco are all chugging bottles of syrup. Pete walks in the door}

PETE: Hey guys. {Stops and looks at them} That's pretty gross.

{Paco downs his and slams the empty bottle on the floor}

PACO: I'm still the champ!

{Dan finishes his and belches. Alfonzo passes out}

DAN: Yum. Now what were we doing?

{Mac runs in from the kitchen}

MAC: They've landed. Grab some blankets and all the canned goods you can carry. We're moving to the sewers. {Runs away franticly out the door}

{"The End" appears on the screen}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Paco to get him to belch.
• Click on Dan to make him meow.

Fun Facts

• Mac's role in this toon is that of Molly's crazy patient in Scrubs; Patrick. They are his exact lines from the TV show. It's one of my favorite Scrubs moments.