(even if you aren't vegan)
Awesome Well/trailer
YOUR MOM
{Fade to the Clamburger Enterprises logo.}
AWESOME WELL: {voiceover} Hi. I'm Awesome Vhappy Well.
{Cut to a Pokemopolis posting page. Awesome Well is talking to a cursor. He holds up some bread dripping with paint.}
AWESOME: Would you like some toastpaint?
CURSOR: Uh, no thanks.
AWESOME: You know, it's funny what an emoticon remembers.
{Cut to a white screen. :D Laugh is rolling with Awesome.}
:D: You are the same as everyone else. You are not different.
{Cut to Eng101 Grad holding a clicking record. Awesome is at the very top.}
ENG101: Your son...is different.
{Cut to a white screen. Awesome sits next to Dancing Banana.}
DB: Aren't you famous or something?
AWESOME: Mother says famous is as famous...is.
{Cut to the posting page.}
AWESOME: DB was my best friend. And I had many friends. I mean, we were together all the time, like a plant and its dirt, a green and it's bean, Helen Keller and her glasses. Wait, bad example.
{Cut to a white screen. Awesome is being chased by >:( Mad and Head Bang.}
DB: {offscreen} Awesome, smile at them!
{Awesome turns around and smiles, somehow stopping >:( and Head in awe.}
AWESOME: {voiceover} I don't know if I told you, but I have the most perfect smile.
{Some other emoticons see Awesome.}
BLINK: What the crap is that thing?
UNSURE: I believe that's Awesome Well, the cool emote in town.
{Cut to the posting page.}
AWESOME: {voiceover} I never thought it would take me anywhere.
{Cut to a topic full of awesomes.}
AWESOME: {voiceover} But, I was probably wrong.
{Cut to Hist101 Grad giving Awesome a brochure.}
HIST101: Have you given any thought to your future?
{Cut to the brochure's view. It has an lolcat pointing. It says "I WANTS U TO GET A JOB"}
AWESOME: {sassy} K.
{Cut to the Something Awful forums. A mythical troll walks to Awesome.}
TROLL: What is your sole purpose on this forum?
AWESOME: To have as many makeovers as possible?
TROLL: I'm gonna like you.
AWESOME: Really?
TROLL: No. I'm a troll. I don't like people, or have any feelings whatsoever. Now go out there and copy yourself!
{Cut to Awesome and Eekdancer being clicked on a Something Awful posting page.}
{Cut to a white screen with Christmas lights at the top. Awesome is talking to Dancing Banana.}
AWESOME: They're sending me off to be syndicated so I stop wasting their bandwidth.
DB: Just promise me one thing, Awesome. Even when you're facing heck, always remember to smile.
AWESOME: That won't be a real problem, will it?
{Cut to a forum. Awesome is next to Eekdancer, and Lieutenant Dry ¬_¬ looks at them.}
DRY: You two twins?
AWESOME: Uh, no.
{Suddenly, a computer virus attacks, causing a range of free forum hosting to shut down or close. Meanwhile, a mudkip gives Awesome the official certificate of meme-ness.}
AWESOME: I feel so...complete.
{Cut to the Well Signal.}
{Cut to a white screen. Awesome rolls in and looks around.}
{Cut to Awesome being chased by an angry mob of emoticons.}
AWESOME: {voiceover} You know, this was one of the few to no times I completely lost hope...
{Suddenly, Dancing Banana comes in and stops the mob.}
AWESOME: {voiceover} And regained it all back in 1 minute.
{Cut to a white screen. Dancing Banana walking with Awesome.}
AWESOME: Why are you so nice to me?
DB: You can never break a Christmas promise.
{Cut to a white screen saying "Clamburger Enterprises presents".}
NARRATOR: Clamburger Enterprises presents...
{Cut to different variations of Awesome Well on a Encyclopedia Dramatica page.}
NARRATOR: The awesome slash vhappy slash well emoticon...
{Cut to different variations of Dancing Banana.}
NARRATOR: The dancing banana emoticon...
{Cut to different variations of the dry emoticon.}
NARRATOR: The dry emoticon...
{Cut to all of the other emoticons in the movie on one page.}
NARRATOR: And everyone else.
{Cut to a white screen with silhouettes of Awesome and Dancing Banana.}
NARRATOR: A film by JCM Productions.
{Cut to a white screen. :D Laugh paling as Awesome is by her side.}
AWESOME: What's my destiny, mom?
:D: I think you already know that, son.
{The fades to various scenes from the movie accompanied by unfitting music.}
NARRATOR: Cyberspace will never seem the same once you've seen it through the eyes of Awesome Well.
AWESOME: {voiceover} My mom once said life was just a box of emotes.
{Cut back to the posting page.}
AWESOME: You always know what you're going to get.
{Cut to a white screen saying "Awesome Well".}
