Aruseus: The Big Finish

Let's go out with a bang, shall we?

Transcript

{Cut to the TLA House (circa Emails 1-10, for example), Aruseus, as he was originally, is lying on the couch with a newspaper over his head, snoring}

ARUSEUS: Mutter...mutter...ice...ice cream sandwiches...

{A doorbell is heard}

ARUSEUS: {waking up} Who...who is it?

{Aruseus opens the door to find Cyrus}

ARUSEUS: Hey, Cyrus! What's new?

CYRUS: You must come with me. It's an urgent matter.

ARUSEUS: Huh?

CYRUS: I'll explain later. Let's go.

ARUSEUS: Okay. {shouts} Tom, I'm gonna be gone for a bit!

TOM: {offscreen} Whatever!

{Cut to Aruseus' house circa the A-Tech age. (Emails 31-40) Aruseus is playing Mario Kart Double Dash via Gamecube}

ARUSEUS: Oh carp...blue shell incoming!

{Doorbell}

ARUSEUS: Just a minute! {he pauses the game and goes to the door, opening it to find Lucas Aura}

LUCAS: Aruseus. Perfect timing. We have to go now.

ARUSEUS: Uh...alright! What's up?

LUCAS: Let's just go. {they walk off}

{Cut to Aruseus' house circa emails 71-90. Aruseus is on the computer, when a doorbell is heard}

ARUSEUS: Dammit, what now?

{Aruseus opens the door to find Ryan Bluefox}

RYAN: Aruseus, come on! We gotta go!

ARUSEUS: I'm in the middle of something!

RYAN: No time! Let's go!

{Ryan grabs Aruseus and runs off, dragging Aruseus along the way}

{Cut to Aruseus, circa the age of OMoAP. He's on his laptop}

ARUSEUS: Oh, sweet! They're making a Mega Man 10!

MRS. PARKER: {offscreen} Aruseus? Someone's at the door looking for you!

ARUSEUS: Coming!

{Aruseus opens the door to find TJ}

ARUSEUS: What's up, Teej?

TJ: We gotta go. Urgent matter.

ARUSEUS: Alright. I'll be back later, mom!

MRS. PARKER: Be careful!

{Cut to a dark office building. A spotlight turns on showing Present-day Aruseus sitting at a table.}

ARUSEUS 2010: What's going on?

{three more spotlights turn on, showing the other Aruseus...es}

ARUSEUS 2007: You...you're me!

ARUSEUS 2008: This is just getting weird!

ARUSEUS 2009: What the hell's going on?

ARUSEUS 2007: Hey! That language isn't acceptable on the HRFWiki!

ARUSEUS 2009: We're not on that wiki anymore...

TJ: Quiet, all of you!

{Lights turn on to show TJ, Cyrus, Lucas, and Ryan sitting at a higher table}

ARUSEUS 2007: Cyrus...

ARUSEUS 2008: Lucas...

ARUSEUS 2009: Ryan...

ARUSEUS 2010: TJ...

ALL FOUR: Who are these guys?

TJ: We are all the creators behind the Aruseus Email series show. Cyrus was the manager back in '07, Lucas took over in '08, Ryan here took over in '09, and I am the current owner, TJ the Red Fox.

RYAN: Sounds a lot like my name! The Grand Creator wasn't creative when making you, wasn't he?

TJ: Hey! Who's the current persona of the Grand Creator? Not you!

LUCAS: Don't you mean, "fursona?"

CYRUS: Lucas has a point...I mean, the Grand Creator did take you as his fursona when he joined the fandom-

ARUSEUS 2010: All of you, quiet! Who the hell is this Grand Creator anyway?

TJ: The Grand Creator is the one who created us, the creators of your world.

ARUSEUS 2007: Sounds creative!

{the other Aruseuses glare at '07}

ARUSEUS 2007: My bad. That was a bad joke.

ARUSEUS 2009: You're damn right it was!

TJ: All of you, quiet! Now you four must be wondering why you are all here.

ARUSEUS 2010: I'm wondering why my past selves were all nudists.

{Cyrus throws a brick at '10, knocking his head off}

ARUSEUS 2007: WHAT THE CARP?!

ARUSEUS 2008: You mean...

ARUSEUS 2009: I become detachable in the future?

ARUSEUS 2010: {while fixing his head back on} Yes. Though the word you're looking for is "modular."

ARUSEUS 2008: Modu-whatnow?

RYAN: SILENCE!

TJ: Anyway, you four are here to learn of an important matter. The purge of the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki, your former home, is coming to a close. However with that, this current Wiki you are on is being deleted. Your stuff is being backed up, but one of you will be moved to the new wiki. Sooner or later the Grand Creator will reveal himself to us and decide who will go.

ARUSEUS 2010: It's most likely me.

ARUSEUS 2008: What makes you so sure? You don't even know who Homestar Runner is!

ARUSEUS 2010: Yes, I do! He's...he's...a soccer player?

TJ: Anyway, in a bit, the Grand Creator will arrive.

CYRUS: Actually...he's here now.

TJ: What?!

{A door opens, and the silhouette of a human male is seen. The figure walks into the light to reveal a young man of about sixteen with slightly puffy dark brown hair. He is sporting a green American Eagle hoodie and black sweatpants.}

TJ: M-m-m-Master Thomas... {kneels on one knee}

{Lucas, Cyrus, and Ryan do the same}

THOMAS: At ease, TJ. Aruseui (pronounced Ar-oo-say-eye) of all seasons and years, it is time to determine who will be the Aruseus of the new wiki. Aruseus of 2007-

ARUSEUS 2007: Me?

THOMAS: You were the start of it all. You know the Homestar Runner universe like the back of your hand. However...with the beginning there was poor artwork and humor. You are not going.

ARUSEUS 2007: I see...

THOMAS: Aruseus of 2008, you were slightly more funny than '07, BUT! That was when the HRFWiki was in it's declining days and Homestar characters were forced onto fanstuff. You tried to make it different. You also will not go.

ARUSEUS 2008: What?!

THOMAS: Aruseus of 2009! Your season was around the purge...which is almost over. You had little time to get reacquainted with the HSR world. Also...I really didn't like Seasons 3 and 4. Seemed like a waste.

ARUSEUS 2009: So it's the "modular" freak show who goes! That's not fair! We had far more episodes than that detachable dump over there!

THOMAS: But he is the newest. A fresh face. With no knowledge of the HSR world he has opportunity. New faces to meet.

ARUSEUS 2010: So I go!

THOMAS: Lucas! Cyrus! Lock the others away!

{Lucas and Cyrus salute, as they drag the other three Aruseui to a cell}

ARUSEUS 2009: This...this isn't fair! This is crap!

ARUSEUS 2008: I only wanted one more episode...

ARUSEUS 2007: Way to go out with a bang.

ARUSEUS 2008: Will you quit referencing things?!

THOMAS: Now go! I...have some Garry's Mod to play!

{End episode}