(even if you aren't vegan)
88 Gift Ideas
Every day, people are dying in wars and oppressive conditions. I’m not here to talk about that. No, I’m talking about another everyday occurrence – people not knowing what to buy for birthdays! I’m sure you’ve been in that situation before, unless you’re a cold-hearted person who is against buying gifts because of capitalism being evil or somesuch or a lonely recluse who doesn’t actually know anyone very closely. Well, fear no more! Will is here to show you the way! Now, I make no claim to these being good gift ideas, as they should be highly personalized, but these are certainly gift ideas. Think about it.
1. food
2. skydiving lessons
3. money
4. “101 Dalmatians”
5. internet
6. AXEã body spray
7. clothes
8. a hi-fi stereo
9. an eclipse
10. “101 Dalmatians”
11. puppets
12. water
13. schooling
14. 8 (or more) rabid feral cats
15. dingo
16. somebody to love
17. “101 Dalmatians”
18. a wrecking ball
19. warmth
20. sensitivity training
21. their own circus
22. an orange
23. another orange
24. one more orange
25. a flamethrower
26. “101 Dalmatians”
27. a reality show
28. electricity
29. another orange
30. sunglasses
31. firearms
32. fire arms
33. “101 Dalmatians”
34. a swift kick in the teeth
35. teeth (for kicking)
36. another orange
37. two turtle doves
38. a job
39. marketable skills
40. eggs from Malta
41. ambition
42. “101 Dalmatians”
43. children
44. the weight of the world
45. seven
46. grammar
47. every comic book
48. The Pittsburgh Pirates
49. “101 Dalmatians”
50. a gift idea list
51. fire
52. microscope
53. another orange
54. film reel
55. fire exit
56. a lisp
57. negligence
58. abstract concepts
59. running gags
60. meta jokes
61. inspiration
62. a beach vacation
63. old man winter
64. used candles
65. squiggly red lines (for putting under words)
66. eyeballs/meatballs
67. conscience
68. “101 Dalmatians”
69. ITEM REMOVED
70. vacuum tubes
71. punctuation
72. another orange
73. a “barbeque”
74. dolphins
75. eyebrows/meatbrows
76. variety program
77. ram + shama lama ding dong
78. another orange
79. loneliness
80. a ruler
81. “101 Dalmatians”
82. gravely voice
83. China
84. pets.com
85. another orange
86. one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
87. a comet
88. a marching band
